Those are the words I have wanted for ten years

It wasn't a major problem, but I decided to meet with a school counselor because I wanted some advice.

Since this was my first time meeting this person, I greeted them with a bit of nervousness.

As I explained my son's developmental history orally, the counselor jotted it down with a felt-tip pen, making a squeaking sound.

The counselor clicked the cap back onto the pen and let out a thoughtful groan, which made me instinctively straighten my back.

“...Mother, you have done well to choose correctly and move forward one step at a time. This is correct. I believe your choices were right.”

In that moment, the scenes of the trial and error I had gone through with my son flashed through my mind one after another, and tears welled up in my eyes.

It had been a constant, groping journey.

Raising a child with developmental disabilities involves more choices to make, more things to fight for, and sometimes more things to give up on than so-called 'normal' parenting.

Even within the same developmental disability, every case is different; for example, even children with autism have completely different struggles, so there is no 'universal path'.

After getting pregnant and giving birth to my first child, I was already anxious about whether I was doing things right, and then I was hit with the reality that my child was 'different from other kids'.

I was always running around, asking here and consulting there.

Was this really the right thing to do? I spent sleepless nights repeating that question to myself.

Oh, I wish someone would just tell me I'm doing it right!

I was always screaming that in my heart. My mind never had a moment of peace.

These were the words I had wanted most during these ten years of living like that.

Finally, I heard them.

In that moment, strength returned to my legs, which had been wobbling as I carried my heavy burden alone day after day. My hunched back straightened up.

I wasn't wrong.

That was surely the first time I had been able to think that.

I feel like I can walk the path ahead with a little more confidence than before.