Coaching-style Engagement: Not Teaching, Not Advising, So What Do You Do?

It has been several years since I started focusing on coaching.
I have attended courses, held mutual sessions with peers, and through unexpected turns of events, ended up conducting paid coaching sessions... This year, I aim to evolve even further together with my peers.
Coaching, counseling, and consulting are sometimes compared, but there is no point in drawing strict boundaries. I am preparing myself so that I can provide the appropriate engagement when needed.

Recently, I have been focusing on coaching again, so I would like to organize my thoughts a bit.

Horizontal Relationship

In my relationship with clients, what I value most is a horizontal relationship.

I do not want to be in a teacher's position,
but rather,
I want to be in a relationship where I am always by your side (laughs).

I value a flat horizontal relationship where you can
consult with me at any time,
talk whenever you have something on your mind, and
speak freely and as equals about anything.

Active Listening and Empathy

In coaching, active listening and empathy are said to be fundamental.
(By the way, it seems that in American-style coaching, one does not empathize but maintains a strictly neutral stance. This is an unexpected blind spot I noticed through interacting with people of various styles.)

Active listening and empathy greatly influence the relationship-building with the client.
What kind of relationship are we in?
What kind of position am I taking?

Since I want to maintain a horizontal relationship,
I don't have overly dramatic reactions,
and I seem to empathize naturally.

Not Teaching

I am often asked to "teach," but
I hold back and do not teach (laughs).

Well, I might accidentally give advice sometimes, haha.

At such times,
"What I just said is only one opinion, so I want to hear your opinion"
I shift the focus back to the other person.

Not teaching or giving advice means
prioritizing drawing out what the other person is thinking and feeling,
and making it visible.

The protagonist during a session is the client.

Believing in them more than anyone else

Coaching seems to be named after the idea of guiding a client to an ideal state,
but you cannot force them.

Therefore, I believe
in them more than anyone else, believing
even when the client is about to give up, I continue to believe

This area cannot be handled by technique alone
It is something built within your own value axis and
the relationship with the client

During a session, I feel the power of believing

Feedback on awareness

Although I said not to teach,
it is better to share important things you notice during a session

Starting from a sense of discomfort, such as
“There is something that caught my attention, may I share it with you?”
can lead to a deeper session

Sharing the theme,
viewing (imagining) the same scenery in a horizontal relationship,
awareness, questioning, dialogue, digging deeper...

Sometimes people are happy just by talking a little,
and whether I am conscious of coaching
or not very conscious of it,
I feel that a coaching-style approach
is truly alive

I will continue to evolve this even further this year!

This article was written by
Shigeki Kawahara, a "Future Realization Partner" who increases revenue pillars
https://mousoubiz.com/
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