My Bipolar Disorder
Good evening. Things have finally settled down, so I'm going to record this.
Today's topic is "Bipolar Disorder."
I have a disorder called bipolar disorder.
To put it simply, it is a disorder that involves alternating between manic and depressive states.
Actually, I had been in a manic state for about a month.
I was motivated for everything, overflowing with energy, and barely sleeping at all.
Anyway, I was super energetic every day even without sleeping!
Or rather, I couldn't sleep at night.
I would get up and want to do something.
I just had one thing after another that I wanted to do.
In my case, I have a job change coming up at the end of this year, and I was desperate to get certifications.
Color Coordinator Certification Grade 3
Color Coordinator Certification UC Grade
Photoshop Creator Proficiency Test
Illustrator Creator Proficiency Test
Web Creator Proficiency Test
I want to obtain these.
Regarding the Color Coordinator certification, I'd like to aim for Grade 1 if it seems possible.
And what I was actually doing was:
Photoshop Creator Proficiency Test
Color Coordinator Certification Grade 3
Web Design Course (taking it for exams and job hunting)
Art open call exhibition "Tohoku Art to you" with a deadline of May 17th
LOCO Festival (handmade market) at the end of June
I also work 5 days a week, and I extended my working hours by one hour.
I was doing all of this simultaneously...
When I write it out, it's amazing, isn't it?
Then, I scoured Mercari and bought a lot of web design books (and others too).
I couldn't resist buying a computer with good specs, too.
I am a graphic designer, but
since I want to do web design in the future,
as soon as I finish the course, I will build a website for an acquaintance.
Meetings for that are also in my schedule.
I will also be doing design work from home via subscription contracts in the future, so I have preparations for that as well.
With all that going on, I was doing so many things so powerfully that
my visiting nurse tried to stop me in various ways, which made me very angry, and I canceled the visiting nursing service (sweat).
My hospital visits became once every two weeks, and my medication changed significantly.
I increased or decreased them while carefully observing my condition.
I also increased my medication before bed and tried to sleep as much as possible.
Even so, I couldn't sleep much and remained in an excited state.
And then, just about last week, the manic state suddenly ended.
I can clearly tell myself.
The reason is,
I'm just exhausted and super sleepy!
I don't have that sense of impatience, and I can read books.
I like reading, and I like YouTube, movies, anime, and comedy.
But when I'm in a manic state,
I feel like I don't want to do such meaningless things,
and I became unable to do those things.
I just couldn't relax.
Now that the manic state is over,
I can finally sleep soundly.
I was healed by reading, and I was even able to go to an art museum today.
I'm really glad that things have calmed down.
If you can't control a manic state,
relationships can fall apart, you might change jobs in an impossible way, or you might spend money recklessly and go into debt...
That kind of thing is common.
For now, my doctor at the hospital stopped me from making various decisions (sweat).
To overcome a manic state, close communication with visiting nurses and psychiatrists is necessary.
Having someone you trust point things out to you is also a strategy.
If you are not aware of your manic state,
you might get angry and say, "That person doesn't understand!"
Well, anyway, I'm glad it stayed at the level of just being high-tension. I'm relieved.
Since I'm tired, I'll sleep well,
and as for the exams and exhibitions, I intend to take my time and do them within my capabilities.
I passed the passing line in the mock exam for the Photoshop Creator Proficiency Test, so I applied for the exam!
I'm also thinking of applying for the Color Coordinator certification in May.
I studied a lot when I was in a manic state, so I've learned quite a bit, which is lucky (lol).
I wrote this in the hope that my story about bipolar disorder
might be of some help to someone.
For now, sleeping is important!