Today, I am happy. ~Event & Opening Edition~

It is July 13th. It seems that people who have emerged from the back alleys of the note town are gathering in Shibuya. I had the help of many people to reach this day. If I speak in front of so many people, I will surely end up just fooling around, so I would like to write a little more seriously for those who could not come.

The other day, since I received a kind word from Minomushi Makikura on Stand.fm, asking to know about Konishi Kinoko before the expansion of 'What kind of story is that?', please let me look back on it a little.

I used to be bad at talking in front of people. And that was until very recently. If there is anyone who knows my Instagram era, I couldn't speak at all, to the point that the nickname I got when I appeared on Instagram Live was 'Portrait'.

I want to express myself. I want to write with more characters. I want to create. I want people to read. I want people to know that I am the most interesting. I came to note about four years ago, full of confidence that it must be interesting.

What I experienced in a self-centered way was the fact that no one read anything, and the reality that the world is overflowing with people who can write well, people who can write clearly, and people who can make others read.

It took me about two and a half years from there to realize the fact that I wasn't interesting. I was on the verge of giving up writing. All I wanted was to be recognized by someone, to be thought of as interesting. To be found. That was all. I had also tried entering contests and such. Even though I didn't have the skill to write, every time I failed, I told myself that it wasn't what I wanted to write.

Such facts ended up tormenting me quite a bit.

However, in this world, you are only evaluated by things that are properly categorized. I learned that being a professional means having the skill to write as closely as possible to those categories.

It was a major setback. This fact was not at all interesting for my own expression.

What I really want to write, what I want to express, cannot be categorized as an essay. It is not a novel either.

What I want to depict is a way of living and life itself, something that exists between fiction and non-fiction, the two sides of human nature, stories inside my head, stories where I don't know the truth and there is no ending. But, they were stories that I hoped someone would read and connect to something.

However, there was no place for that genre anywhere. The entertainment of expression that I consider interesting didn't even have a form.

Despite often being told 'You can write whatever you want,' such a foundation does not exist, and you are left as you are with 'You can write whatever you want,' and if you can't write well, you eventually lose your place. It was only evaluated in the direction of conforming to the correct way of writing.

Being rejected with 'This is different, isn't it?' was too tough.

If I like to write, I decided that nothing would change unless I changed myself. However, in my case, I focused everything on my own expression. Stop comparing yourself to others. Stop trying to conform to someone else. Prove that the world I am thinking of is interesting in my own writing style. I changed my heart in that direction. Fortunately, I knew that my life was a more roundabout one than others, so I decided that I would prove it no matter how many years it took.

I thought it was good that I realized this decision during the half-baked period of two and a half years without even having the resolve.

From there, I stopped hesitating to change my writing style more and more. What I sought was my own words. However, I am quite strict with myself. No matter how trivial the writing, I decided to be particular about every single word and phrase. I thought that later on, it would be valuable for my past self to remain. I told myself to express myself. If the work I produced with conviction, writing about my way of life and what I want to depict, is still not evaluated or even categorized,

What I am doing is something new that no one knows.

I converted my thinking to that. I told myself that it's just that no one knows it yet. If so, I made up my mind that I should just create the category, the genre itself, where any kind of expression can be enjoyed.

I cannot conform to genres decided by others. Writers of the past expressed themselves and competed in an era without genres. I thought that if I relied on categories created by someone else, new expressions would never be born.

And so, I began to think about making "What are you talking about?" into a genre itself. The result of that is the "What are you talking about? Newsletter."I have already summarized my feelings at that time, so I won't talk about them here, but creating a genre is something unknown and fun for me. And it changed into a happy feeling, realizing that there were such interesting people out there.

I personally believe that Konishi Kinoko was born out of such setbacks. By this day, there are over 700 people who have taught me the true fun of human beings.

I always think that every one of them might be struggling with expression and suffering in the same way. I believe we are walking together while enjoying it.

If that's the case, let's create a foundation to read the written works, think about what makes them interesting, and enjoy the works themselves. I continue to believe that if we do that, it will surely expand.

This April, I held a crowdfunding campaign for trademark registration. When we reached the goal on the first day, I askedmika🌼-san'shusband, Mr. Motto, to design the commercialization of "What are you talking about?" because I thought that to prove there are no barriers to expression, visualization is necessary. However, I had absolutely no time. Besides, while I like thinking about writing, I am absolutely incapable of things like site management. So, I asked him to introduce someone I could trust to work behind the scenes.

That is whenEucalyptus Radiataappeared. She said, "If it's for the back alley and it's something everyone can enjoy, I want to do it."

It has been about three months until today. She has handled everything about the shop from the shadows. Starting with meetings with Mr. Motto and deciding which site to open on first, she researched everything, put it into tables, gave presentations, and communicated everything with all her might.

Someday, this behind-the-scenes story might become her article. After all, it is all entertainment.

As a result, we arrived at the conclusion that we could co-manage a BASE shop, do print-on-demand sales, and stock various products. Although the unit price goes up, it was the best place to enjoy freely. The profit is only a few hundred yen, but I am thinking of giving this back so that we can enjoy it with everyone again.

I am truly happy that you are enjoying this with me.

Well then, the shop is open. For those who couldn't come today but are looking forward to it, this is a gift from us first. "What are you talking about?" has properly taken shape. I have explained everything inside the shop, but I think if you read the article by mika🌼-san below, you will understand the thoughts and feelings with which we spent our time enjoying this. You will be able to read it once it is published.

Happily, we have reached this day, and while these past few years have felt somewhat unreal, this might be the day I can truly feel that my entertainment has taken shape, even if just a little.

I am happy to be able to share this time with all of you like this. I can say from the bottom of my heart that I am glad I didn't give up.

There are still many things I want to do, but what I feel most right now is that I am no longer alone, and I am happy about that.

There are so many people who cherish the phrase "What are you talking about?", and I feel truly happy.

Now then, while blowing a grand whistle, whether I meet you at the venue or not, please continue to let me be a woman who loves people.

I am truly grateful for this day.

What are you talking about?