"It's free to ask" is not free. The precious, irreplaceable things destroyed by that adventurous spirit
"It's free to ask, so I might as well just request it."
Have you ever had the experience of asking someone for something, or being asked for something, with that kind of lighthearted attitude?
This work is basically done online, so it's common not to know each other's faces, but even if you aren't close friends,
"Nice to meet you! Actually, I have this request!!" people often just blurt out requests right away.
This is such a waste.
The person probably thinks it's free to ask and that they should just go for it, but "free to ask" isn't actually free, you know???
It might not cost money, that's true.
But behind that "free" label, the other person's precious time, energy, and "trust" in you are hidden.
Actually, I recently remembered a bitter experience.
It was an overwhelmingly huge "request" that arrived from a complete stranger.
Today, I would like to talk about the true meaning of "consideration" that I felt through that incident, and the "imagination" that people who are loved for a long time cherish.
A request too heavy: "Please watch" 980 hours of video
It was quite a long time ago, but I once received a request like this from someone who had seen my media.
"Nice to meet you!! I want you to introduce this report on Moririn's media."
What was presented to me was a massive free report set, consisting of over 980 hours of video and over 2000 pages of PDF.
I have decided that I will only introduce things that I have thoroughly checked myself and believe are "good."
However, I cannot spare 980 hours for something that I don't even know if I can introduce.
Even if I spent 980 hours checking it, it wouldn't earn me a single yen.
I had no choice but to politely decline, but what came back was an unexpected "sarcastic remark."
"It's just a quick introduction in your newsletter, right?"
"Even though it's free, you won't even do that for me?"
Although they wrapped it in polite language, the nuance of "you're acting so high and mighty" was visible through the persistent words, and I thought, "Ah, this person probably doesn't realize they are taking from others."
The reason why "it's free to ask" is actually the most expensive
This person might have thought, "I'm not making you pay money, so it's free, it should be fine."
But I want you to think about it.
Is asking a stranger, "Please give me 980 hours of your life for free for my sake," really a request that can be settled for "free"?
Just because it doesn't cost actual money, taking up too much of someone else's time shows a complete lack of imagination.
There is no benefit to the other person in that, and only the act of "taking" remains.only the act of "taking"remains.
There were other instances as well.
Being led to a paid note after someone said, "I was moved by your article! I wrote about the same theme, so please read mine."
Having to think of a reply to a heartless comment that makes me feel, "They probably just copy-pasted this anyway."
In such moments, my impression of that person in my heart unfortunately becomes the worst.
Well, nobody would want to "get along" with someone like that, not even by a millimeter, right?
Once you lose "trust" or a good "impression," you can never buy them back, no matter how much money you pay.
Thinking it's "free to ask" actually means you are selling off your own future possibilities at the highest price. I think that is such a waste.
The magical consideration that makes the other person "all smiles"
On the other hand, even with the same kind of "request," there are people who make my heart "all smiles" in an instant.
What those people have in common is that they naturally possess the "consideration not to cause a loss to the other person.""consideration not to cause a loss to the other person"is something they can do naturally.
For example, when asking for something, they might "offer a return they can provide" in advance, or above all, include a "message that shows they read it carefully," such as "I love this part of your article.""offer a return they can provide"in advance, or above all, include a "message that shows they read it carefully"as well.
For a writer, there is nothing happier than the feeling that their words have been truly received. That is the greatest reward for the time and effort they put in.
Instead of blindly throwing requests out there because "it's free to ask," how much consideration can you show for what you are taking from the other person (time, effort, trust)? Can you offer "value" that cannot be measured by money first?
I feel that people who can show that natural consideration of "not causing a loss to the other person" the moment they meet someone new are the ones who, in the end, are helped by many and go on to make great leaps forward.
Imagining the "person" behind the words
"It's free to ask" is never actually free.
"If I say this, how will the other person feel?" "Am I taking up too much of their precious time?" Such small considerations will surely become assets that help you in the long run.
I want to continue carefully building comfortable relationships where we can cherish things that cannot be measured by money.