Living by Comparing Yourself to Yourself
I think I am probably a person who is neither below nor above average in society (no, if you think I'm below, please leave a comment).
42 years old, civil servant in a government-designated city
8.8 million yen per year
Height 171 cm
Weight 61.5 kg
Wife and one daughter
Financial assets of about 10 million yen.
No loans. Living with my in-laws.
However, there is one thing that I think is exceptionally bottom-of-the-barrel. That is...
Number of friends, personal connections
In this regard, I am in a state of total collapse. For someone who likes being alone, this might not be a big problem, but for someone who gets lonely, it's a matter of life and death. I only go to drinking parties a few times a year. And they are all work-related. I have no hobby-related friends. I am the type who, once I get hooked on something, charges ahead without caring about those around me. In my 20s and 30s, that led me in the wrong direction, and I destroyed my social life with gambling and games. So, it's my own fault; it can't be helped. So, what should I do?
Temporarily escape
If I try to escape from my current self by gambling, gaming, or drinking again, my physical strength, health, and assets will just continue to decline. The situation won't improve. It's not a very good option.
Look at people below me and bask in a sense of superiority
This might be okay sometimes. Looking at people below me makes me feel relieved. It confirms my own sense of worth. It feels better than the option above for maintaining the status quo.
However, when I see people above me—for example, people whose private lives are filled with social connections or who are always surrounded by people—I get depressed. I feel like I'm a worthless person, and sometimes I even feel like I have no reason to live.
Therefore, this option isn't very good either.
Don't compare yourself to others. Accept who you are now and live by comparing yourself to who you were yesterday
This is the strongest, truly the strongest option. First, whether I became who I am now by my own will or by force of circumstance, it can't be helped. I should accept that the past cannot be changed. This is really difficult... but if I don't do this, nothing will start...
On that basis, I will make my past self the object of comparison. Feeling a sense of superiority or happiness by comparing yourself to others ends in an instant; it's the same feeling as buying something expensive and getting bored with it right away.
If you make your past self the object of comparison, you can find joy in the areas where you did better or improved compared to yesterday, and you can praise and acknowledge your current self. No matter how little money you have, how bad you look, or how unhealthy you are, if you don't belittle yourself, don't deny yourself, warn yourself not to compare yourself to others, and work hard in the present to find ways you have improved since yesterday, God will reward you by releasing dopamine into your brain.
It is truly difficult, but I want to do my best to aim for this way of living.