[Psychology] "Why Can't That Person Think of Anyone But Themselves?" by Taizo Kato 🥀 | Book Review | Leon Aoi
Basic Information
Author: Taizo Kato
Title: Why Can't That Person Think of Anyone But Themselves? — The Disease Called "Narcissist"
Publisher: Mikasa Shobo
Release Date: 2016/9/7
Number of Pages: 204 pages
Overview/Synopsis
They seem like good people at first glance, but they are only interested in themselves, are selfish, boast about their misfortunes, and cannot listen to others. These are all symptoms of a narcissist.
The more narcissistic one is, the more easily they are hurt by reality.
If you are freed from narcissism, you can live your life without hating, blaming, or resenting others.
You will no longer suffer from reacting sensitively to the words and actions of others.
A book that explains the psychology of narcissists and more.
Table of Contents
Why does that person get "grumpy" so easily over trivial things? What is happening inside their mind?
What is a "narcissist"? It is not just "vanity," but a much deeper problem.
In search of "unconditional love" and the "perfect partner." Where is the "shortest route to happiness"?
Japanese people complicating their "self-love." From "economic wealth" to "spiritual wealth."
The one and only way to live simply. A freer, more relaxed, and lighter life.
Impressions/Recommended Points
At the bottom of the heart lies "loneliness and fear"
Narcissism is an "addiction to praise"
The way to resolve it is to "find something you love"
This book is a volume that explains the psychology of narcissists and how to resolve narcissism.
In the first place, a narcissist is a show-off who cares about how others see them.
They are always suffering, feeling that no one understands their pain, and it is pointed out that even if they are in an environment that looks like heaven, they are unhappy.
At the bottom of the heart lies loneliness and fear, and they are always nervous and struggling just to maintain a normal state of mind.
Even if they have a high self-evaluation in their consciousness, they are unconsciously troubled by a sense of emptiness and self-contempt.
In any case, their inferiority complex is serious, and they are nervous that their true self will be exposed.
It is stated that while they are self-absorbed on the surface, the essence of their heart is an inferiority complex.
Trying to be oneself, or in other words, the greatest obstacle to becoming happy is narcissism, and narcissism is an "addiction to praise".
For a narcissist, proof of their existence is the praise of others.
Therefore, being criticized is having the proof of their existence denied, and it is said that the anger and depression that follow are beyond the imagination of an ordinary person.
Since birth, humans have lived in a conflict between the desire for growth and the desire for regression, and those whose desire for growth wins become happy, while those whose desire for regression wins become unhappy.
It is also stated that narcissism is an enemy of growth, in other words, an enemy of happiness.
The way to resolve narcissism is not to complain that "it's painful!" but to realize your own narcissism and think about others.
It is pointed out that an important characteristic of narcissists is that they have nothing they like and no one they like, and because they are self-absorbed, they have no interest in the object (others).
In any case, find something you like, no matter what it is, and it is important to pour your energy into what you are interested in, not for self-praise.
It is stated that first, you should admit that you have no interest in objects because your self-obsession is strong, and then observe and learn from people who live happily without praise.
While the tone is harsh throughout, I am painfully aware that the problem of narcissism is heavier and more deep-rooted than I imagined.
Narcissism may also be involved in the background of abuse, divorce, incidents, and war, and I feel that its impact on human relationships and society is significant.
Also, it is a nice point that it not only describes the characteristics of narcissism but also introduces its causes and ways to resolve it.
Furthermore, this book introduces other topics such as what two types of narcissists have in common, the difference between narcissists and people with intense emotions, an 8-item checklist to measure narcissism levels, and the relationship between narcissism, victim mentality, and pessimism.
Amazon
*This article contains Amazon affiliate links.