What Pro-Wrestling Gave Me

When I was a child, I did nothing but read books.
That fact hasn't changed from then to now, but back then, I didn't have the positive feeling of 'I love this!' that I do today; my main goal was simply to escape into the world of books.
Whether it was bullying or my own inability to be positive, those things weighed heavily on my inner self, and I was always looking down.
There are a few things that changed me.
One is games.
I have many traumas, but it was precisely because of those traumas that I encountered the wonderful content that is visual novels.
And there is one more thing. There is content that supported me back then, and continues to support me now.
That is pro-wrestling.
I don't have enough knowledge to be called a fanatic, and I haven't been able to go to venues to actually cheer in person, so I'm not even sure if I can call myself a fan, but the things the genre of pro-wrestling has given me are immense. So, perhaps I, who am neither a fanatic nor maybe even a fan, have no right to express gratitude to pro-wrestling, but please, let me talk about it just a little.
When I watched pro-wrestling, what shook my heart the most was seeing the wrestlers endure intense pain, and even when they were battered and bruised, they would always stand back up right at the count of two.
For someone like me, who hates pain and suffering and has run away from them as much as possible, that sight was so dazzling, and I wondered how they could be so strong.
At first, I just admired that strength.
However, as I continued to watch pro-wrestling, that emotion gradually changed.
If a wrestler I like wins, of course I'm happy. But even when they lose, a different kind of emotion, unlike the one I feel when they win, is born within me.
There was definitely something there that transcended winning and losing.
What was it? I thought about it, and in the end, I returned to the starting point.
They always stand back up.
The core of why I love pro-wrestling was, after all, that.
And one more thing.
The fans who believe in the wrestlers and cheer for them with all their might, no matter how cornered they are.
The wrestlers who can be loved that much are amazing, and the fans who can love them that much are also amazing.
What a wonderful relationship that is.
I was moved by that.
I wanted to be strong, too.
Not physically, but I wanted to be the kind of person who could shake someone's heart and receive cheers like that. To that end, I decided to train my 'self' above all else.
From the day after I made that decision, I tried various things in my own way. They were eccentric, or perhaps even reckless enough to make people wonder if I was overdoing it (I didn't cause anyone any trouble; all that increased was my own dark history...), and people actually drifted away from me, but now, I have precious friends who laugh at that dark history of mine.
To me, those friends overlap with the image of the fans I saw on the other side of the TV screen back then, who would cheer for the wrestlers no matter what.
However, the problem is that I don't have the radiance of a pro-wrestler that makes people want to cheer for me.
Even though I am blessed with wonderful friends, I still have neither strength nor charm.
I'm always exhausted and getting knocked down.
Even so, my friends don't abandon me; they keep cheering for me, even though I keep losing.
No matter how long it takes, I want to become a person who can respond to those cheers. I feel strongly that I must.
Someday, just before the count of three. I want to stand up at 2.7, and even if I lose, I want to lose in a way I can be proud of.
And, if I may wish for it, after that string of losses, I want to achieve a victory I can be proud of, and say this to the friends who kept cheering for me, in a loud voice:
'YEAHOH!'
That is.
Well, one might say, 'Isn't that just a rip-off?' but please forgive me, as it is out of admiration.
I talk about Shinsuke Nakamura so much that my friends might think, 'Aren't you being a bit persistent?', so it should be fine since they'll understand.
A pro-wrestler is someone who stands up from adversity.
I admired that figure.
So that I don't let that remain just an admiration, and so that I don't betray the friends who believe in me, I strongly want to keep fighting.