What I do to 'affirm' my children

I'm Momo, a mother of three and a company employee.

When raising children, there are many times when I feel happy seeing their cuteness and growth.

But at the same time,

"Why would you do that!"
"I've told you that so many times, haven't I!?"
"Boys are impossible to understand!"

I also find myself raising my voice, sighing, or wanting to cry.

Since "bad things" are easier to notice (and perhaps they happen more frequently!?), I feel like I'm always angry or constantly criticizing my children's behavior.

At times like that, I try to be conscious of "affirming my children."

Affirmation means "paying attention"

There are times when I think, "My kids only do bad things, there's nothing to affirm!" (laughs), but what is affirmation in the first place?

It is praising what the child has done by saying "That's good," "That's amazing," or "You worked hard."

It is saying "You're cute" or "I love you" to their very existence.

And there is one more thing.

"Paying attention" is also a form of affirmation.

The opposite of love is indifference; in other words, the moment you pay attention to your child, you are affirming them.

Savoring the child's words and actions

I glare with the eyes of a demon at bad behavior, but please try looking back at their casual words and actions.

The way they suddenly hug you, their face when they giggle at something funny, their hateful yet adorable words, their slips of the tongue and misunderstandings, their look of intense anger, their face when they cry with a flushed red face...

They are just cute in every little way, aren't they?

Savoring each of those moments is what affirms the child's existence.

I even turn them into content (laughs).

I often use what my children are doing as material for my X posts.

Things I thought were nice, things that were funny, and even the times I thought, "You little rascal...!" (laughs).

It makes me observe my children more carefully, and it's fun to have a record of it.

I feel that this accumulation of "affirmation" actually influences how I speak to my children and seems to expand my capacity to affirm them.

Please try "affirming" your children in various ways.

Thank you very much for reading until the end.