Not 'Something to Punish' but 'Something to Expand Your World'

I'm Momo, a company employee and mother of three.


In life, you meet all kinds of people—people you think are amazing, people you find wonderful, and, of course, people whose ideas you find a bit hard to accept.

When you encounter someone with different values, just watching their behavior can leave you feeling uneasy.

However, instead of rejecting them, if you stand in the same place and look at things from their perspective, you might see something new.

It might be a good idea to view what you consider 'evil' not as something to be punished, but as something that expands your own world.

The feeling of wanting to 'punish' those with different values

I tend to react to rule-breaking or behavior that lacks morals.

When I feel that someone who doesn't follow the rules is 'evil' and 'should be punished,' it means that I am, in my own mind, 'punishing' that person.

When I realized that, I found it a bit scary.

I am not a police officer or a judge. I am not someone who polices or judges evil.

The person who follows the rules (me) and the person who doesn't (the other person) are not standing on opposite sides; we are standing in the same place.

When I looked at my surroundings from that perspective, I had a small realization.

Imagining what lies behind their words and actions

Take, for example, a classroom observation day at school.

Not filming your child during class is not only a matter of etiquette, but it was also stated in the handout distributed beforehand.

Yet, there are still people who film.

I think, 'That's not okay,' 'It was written down, wasn't it?' or 'That's morally wrong to begin with.'

I don't say it out loud, but I am punishing them in my heart.

But when I stand on the 'same side' (psychologically), I notice things.

Setting aside the moral issue, that person has no malicious intent.

After all, we all share the same desire to capture a photo of our child.

Let's imagine further.

Perhaps they didn't think it was wrong to take photos during class.

Perhaps they trusted those around them to forgive them for just a little bit.

Perhaps there was someone they really wanted to show the photo to.

Perhaps there are circumstances I cannot even imagine...

Someone else's words and actions expand your world

When you show a rejection response to 'behavior that differs from your own values' and label it as 'evil,' your thinking stops there.

If it's something involving strong convictions or clear-cut rules of right and wrong, that might be fine.

But if you try to broaden your perspective or raise your viewpoint here, new thoughts are born within you.

Trying to imagine that person's feelings or considering the possibility that there might be some circumstances involved.

Things that were invisible become visible, and your world expands.

Exploring a way of thinking that fits you

Having your own sense of justice is wonderful, but it is meant for yourself; when directed at others, it can sometimes become an 'attack'.

There is no one in daily life who acts as a police officer or judge.

Everyone is just standing in the same place, each with their own values.

And whether or not to reject people with different values is a personal choice.

I like the feeling of my world expanding, and I didn't like that I would 'pull away' from the words and actions of people with different values, so I think it's good to try imagining various circumstances from a neutral standpoint.

Even for people I find hard to accept, if I think of them as people who can help me notice new things, they start to seem like very grateful presences.

If a way of thinking fits you and makes you feel comfortable, I think it's good to adopt it.

I hope this serves as a reference for easing a bit of that 'unease'.


Thank you for reading until the end.