[Novel] "Reliving Life: A Journey to Find Myself" Prologue & Chapter 1
The protagonist, Moeka Hanada, lived with a sense of difficulty in existing. On the eve of a piano competition final after long efforts, she relied on an "overdose" due to extreme tension, lost consciousness, and fell into a coma. From there, Okita, the gatekeeper of the "Tunnel at the End of Life," told her, "I don't know if you are worth dying," and suggested she "relive her life." He said, "You can return to your past and redo just one of your various crossroads." However, if she does not return within three days and three hours and three minutes, her life will vanish. What will happen to the protagonist who decided to time-leap with a chipmunk named Tim? And what will her life be like after "reliving" it?
I will submit it.
Prologue
Chopin's "Nocturne No. 13," a piece from the time Chopin lived with the woman of many loves, George Sand. I think a nocturne is, in essence, a love song played by a man and a woman at night. I am currently performing it at the music college hall during a rehearsal held for those participating in tomorrow's piano competition final. At the "Doppio Movimento" section, my fingers get tangled, and my emotions become intertwined. As I try to pour emotion into the melody of the second theme, George Sand's face suddenly comes to mind.
When I perform a piece, I turn the image it holds into a story and write it into the sheet music. I express it through sound while developing the story in line with the progression of the piece. When I try to play Chopin's nocturnes, events from my childhood inevitably cross my mind, and sometimes I become unable to play halfway through. Today was the same. The poignant, sad, and graceful melody of Chopin's Nocturne No. 13 became a trigger, and events I wanted to erase from my mind suddenly assailed me. Before the piano competition I wanted to win so badly, my breathing became shallow, and dizziness struck. I knew I was rapidly losing my composure.
That night, I was deeply disappointed in life. I fell asleep as if sinking to the bottom of a swamp. Even though tomorrow was the day of the piano competition final, on which I had staked my life. The rehearsal practice hadn't gone well either, and I intended to sleep soundly by drinking more cough syrup than usual. The taste of the sweet syrup invited a sense of relief. I soon fell, as if being sucked into the depths of an infinitely deep swamp. An infinitely deep, cold, verdigris-colored swamp.
Chapter 1
The next morning, when I woke up, I was in an unfamiliar place.
"Where on earth am I?"
Looking around, I seemed to be in a coniferous forest. The depths of the verdigris-colored trees were even dimmer, and a cold wind was blowing. I could also see an entrance like a deep, dark cave where I couldn't see what lay beyond.
"Where is this?"
I noticed a man in front of me.
"This is the 'Tunnel at the End of Life.' You tried to take your own life last night. However, your final welcome has not yet arrived."
The man said while looking at a small tablet device he held in one hand.
"What are you talking about? I have no intention of dying. Tomorrow is the day of the piano competition final, on which I have staked my life so far. I survived the preliminaries and the semi-finals, and I finally made it this far."
"No, a report has arrived via email stating that you, that is, Moeka Hanada, 'attempted suicide by overdosing on cough syrup' last night. That is why you were brought here. You know, that thing called an overdose."
I didn't know who the man in front of me was. He was wearing a maroon suit, and there was a green feather on his hat.
"Who are you?"
"Me? I am the gatekeeper of the 'Tunnel at the End of Life,' or in modern terms, a concierge named Okita."
The man named Okita placed his hand on his chest and spoke like a gentleman in a drama.
"'The Tunnel at the End of Life,' you say?"
"Let me explain. The entrance to the cave you see there leads to the 'Tunnel at the End of Life.' It is a tunnel where people who are deeply disappointed in life are brought just before they die, and it is meant to determine whether that person is truly worthy of death."
"Worthy of death? Does that mean there are people who cannot die?"
"Yes, that is correct. You are sharp, Moeka-san. You have come here because it is not yet known whether you are worthy of death. In other words, you cannot die unless you are either completely disappointed in life or have achieved your life's mission."
"I am certainly deeply disappointed in life. But I don't want to die yet."
I cast a sharp gaze at the man named Okita who called himself a concierge and spoke in a strong tone.
"You didn't want to die? That thought has not reached the world of the heavens. Because you took a large amount of cough syrup, you are suspected of having 'chosen to die yourself,' meaning you had the wish to 'want to die.'"
"Even so."
I bit my lip and squeezed the voice out from the bottom of my body.
"I still do not want to die. I have spent my time for tomorrow's piano competition final, staking my entire life on it."
Concierge Okita stared at me and asked, as if reading into the depths of my heart to judge whether there was any falsehood in my words.
"If you did not want to die, why did you overdose like that? Can you truly say you had no intention of dying?"
"Okita-san. I just wanted to be freed from anxiety and sleep. I wanted to win tomorrow's piano competition final so badly. I had staked my life on it. That is why I had no intention of dying."
"We are unable to determine, Moeka-san, whether you 'want to die' or 'do not want to die.'"
I looked down and slowly closed my eyes. Then I slowly raised my face and looked at Concierge Okita with weak, hollow eyes.
"When you put it that way, even I don't know anymore. I shouldn't have intended to die, but I drank too much even though I knew it was dangerous."
"Since your life and death are currently under deliberation, your body, your physical self, is on a bed in the intensive care unit of an emergency hospital. To others, it appears that you have fallen into a comatose state."
"A comatose state? Me! I absolutely must participate in tomorrow's competition. I must live and participate."
Concierge Okita wore a troubled expression.
"What should I do?"
I sat down on the spot, feeling powerless.
Raising the corners of his lips and his eyebrows just a little to create a smile, Concierge Okita began to speak.
"If you go back through this tunnel, you will encounter the crossroads that lead to the present. By 'reliving' that crossroads once more, it will become clear whether you should die now, whether you should live, or whether it will lead to a different future."
"'Reliving life'?"
I stared at Concierge Okita's face.
"Yes. We call returning to the past and redoing one's life 'reliving life.'"
"So it means I will return to my past and redo my life once more."
"Yes. You can choose just one of the various crossroads of the past you encounter and 'time-leap.'"
According to Concierge Okita's explanation, while "time travel" involves moving through space-time with one's body, "time-leap" allows one to have physical sensations but only the consciousness goes back to the past, taking over one's own body in that space-time to relive that scene. It seems to be a special movement that happens only to people in limited situations.
And if your fate changes by "reliving life," you will "relive" your life once more from a place appropriate for your new fate, not from the "point where you almost died."
I was confused by the unfamiliar words.
"You are not dead yet. Perhaps there is something important you left undone. Yet, you wanted to die."
"That I wanted to die?"
I felt as if the depths of my heart had been seen through, and I looked down.
"You said you sacrificed everything and staked it on the piano competition, but did you truly want to participate in that piano competition of your own free will?"
"Now that you mention it, I don't know. I have never once decided anything freely of my own will until now."
"It seems you are someone who has forgotten something important somewhere in your life. A person like you is exactly who should return to the starting point of their life in the 'Tunnel at the End of Life.'"
Perhaps I did want to die after all. Perhaps I was actually disgusted with a life I hadn't walked freely of my own will. I was fully aware of the danger caused by the overly sweet syrup. I was seeking death unconsciously. No, perhaps I wasn't seeking death, but perhaps I was seeking "freedom."
"How should I proceed through space-time in that tunnel?"
"When you enter the tunnel, you will ride the waves of space-time, and your body will naturally float in the air. While floating in the air, you will go back through space-time and return to the starting point. From there, look at your life, keep your heart flat, and get off where you want to 'relive.'"
What did "not be dropped by the waves of space-time" and "keep your heart flat" mean? Questions arose one after another.
"Only one, mind you. Please ask your heart firmly and judge whether it is the place you should 'relive.'"
Choosing just one place to "relive." That might be a very difficult thing.
"I will tell you the most important thing now. Are you prepared in your heart?"
Concierge Okita stared straight at my face without blinking and said this.
"The time limit from entering the 'Tunnel at the End of Life' until you return is three days, three hours, and three minutes. You must absolutely not be late. If you are even one second late, at that moment, your life will vanish. Please, be careful."
Hearing that my life would vanish if I exceeded the time limit, I couldn't stop trembling. My shoulders and legs were shaking so much that I couldn't help it. In other words, I was beginning to fear death. If I were even one second late, this time I would definitely die. I might end up dying just because I was one second late.
But if "freedom" could be obtained in exchange for my life, then that might be fine. I felt as if something had been lifted from my heart, and I stood up slowly.
"I understand. I will try. To take back my life."
I saw a small bird flying far above the verdigris-colored trees beyond Concierge Okita. From above the forest, soft sunlight was pouring down through the gaps in the trees. I will try to believe this man's words.
As I was lost in thought, Concierge Okita muttered something like this.
"I think a pocket-sized chipmunk named Tim will accompany you. He was originally human, but for some reason, he is currently active after reincarnating as a chipmunk. He has gone back and forth through the 'Tunnel at the End of Life' several times, so I am sure he will be of help to you."
I wished to travel through space-time with that pocket-sized chipmunk. Wandering through space-time alone is a bit too lonely. I believe that the most important thing in life is not a lover to talk about love with, but a "conversation partner" who understands you.
Because, from my experience so far, I knew that a lover is "someone who will eventually pass out of your life after you have finished talking about love."