[Book Review] "Is it okay to end my life like this?" — The question I, at 52, was confronted with by 'How to Polish Your Resolve'
On a night when I thought, "Is this really okay?"
Before I knew it, I had been living my life worrying about what others think.
I didn't want to fail. I didn't want to be disliked. If possible, I didn't want to get hurt.
That is why I believe I kept making safe choices.
Even though there were things I truly wanted to challenge myself with, I started telling myself, "I'm not young anymore" or "It's too late to start now."
Then one day, I stopped in my tracks at a bookstore when I casually picked up a book.
"How to Polish Your Resolve".
The word "resolve" struck a chord in my heart in a strange way.
As I grew older, I found myself in more situations where I had to think about work, relationships, and the future, and I often stopped to ask myself, "Is this really okay?" I have things I want to do, but I can't take that first step. I fear failure and only make safe choices. I felt a sense of dissatisfaction with myself for that.
This book asks us "how to live" through the words of Shoin Yoshida, who lived during the end of the Edo period.
When I finished reading it, I was enveloped in a strange sensation.
Rather than feeling a surge of courage, I was quietly forced to face the "self that had been running away."
Perhaps what I need right now is not new knowledge, but "resolve."
Synopsis
"How to Polish Your Resolve" is a book that translates the words of Shoin Yoshida, who lived a short life of 30 years, into a form that resonates with the modern day.
The author, Takamasa Ikeda, delivers Shoin's philosophy to us not as a difficult history book, but as a "guidepost for when you are lost in life."
What is written in this book is not a formula for success.
"What do you live for?" "How do you use your life?" "How should a person be?"
These are all fundamental questions.
At first glance, it might seem like a heavy theme. However, because one quote is introduced on every two-page spread, it is very easy to read, and you can read it little by little even during your commute.
Before reading this book, I thought, "Resolve is a word far removed from my own life." However, after finishing it, I came to feel that "Resolve is not something only for special people, but rather the act of deciding how to live today."
Highlight 1 | First, plow your own field
"Do not worry so much about the weeds in other people's fields."
I think this sentiment hits home precisely because of the era we live in now.
If you open social media, you see someone's success. You might feel down, thinking, "That person is amazing," or "What am I doing with my life?"
However, Shoin tells us, "First, live your life to the fullest in your own place."
The time spent evaluating others might be time not spent living your own life.
If you had even just 10 minutes today that you could use for yourself, what would you do?
Highlight 2 | Do not fear being embarrassed
This question appears in the book:
"The person who tried and failed" versus "The person who was too afraid of failure to try."
Which one is truly embarrassing?
When I read these words, I recalled many instances where I was the latter.
Studying for certifications, sharing information, building new relationships.
I thought it was better not to start at all if it meant risking failure.
But when looking back on life, what we regret might not be the things we failed at, but rather the things we never tried.
Today, it doesn't have to be anything big. What will you try to challenge yourself with?
Highlight 3 | Suffering becomes the whetstone that polishes life
"Iron becomes a famous sword by being put into the fire and hammered many times."
I caught my breath upon reading this sentence.
We try to avoid suffering.
Of course, that is natural. However, Shoin teaches us that "suffering is not a waste of life."
Looking back, the times when I grew the most in life were never when things were smooth sailing.
The experiences of worrying, failing, and spending sleepless nights are what support who I am today.
When you think of it that way, the suffering right in front of you begins to have a little bit of meaning.
What will the worries you are carrying now leave behind for your future self?
Highlight 4 | Life is not about "what you gain," but "what you use your life for"
Shoin ended his life at the age of 30.
Even so, more than 150 years later, he still moves the hearts of many people.
Why is that?
Isn't it because he valued "how to live" more than "living a long life"?
It is the same with work and human relationships.
We often think about "what to acquire," but we rarely have the opportunity to think about "what I want to spend my time on."
Life is finite.
If you only had 10 more years to live, would you choose the same daily life as you do now?
Highlight 5 | The resolve to "keep doing it for a lifetime"
If I were to choose one phrase that symbolizes this book, I would choose this one.
"Keep doing it for a lifetime."
It is not the talented who win.
I believe that those who continue until the end are the ones who obtain a life that is uniquely their own.
However, "doing it for the rest of your life" does not mean being perfect every single day.
It is okay to take a break. It is okay to take a detour.
Even so, you come back again.
The accumulation of those moments will eventually become "resolve."
If you knew today was the last day of your life, would you continue your current job?
The question that remained after reading
Since finishing this book, I have been asking myself this question over and over.
"What am I living for?"
When I was young, I wanted to be successful.
After that, I came to want to live an ordinary life.
However, now that I am standing at the halfway point of my life, what I really want to know might be "what kind of life would allow me to close my eyes with satisfaction."
Shoin ended his life at 30.
On the other hand, we might live much longer.
However, length and depth are not proportional.
Even if we cannot choose how many more years we will live, we can choose how to live today.
A life evaluated by others, or a life you can be satisfied with yourself.
Which one would you choose?
And, if you only had one year left in your life, would the way you spend today change?
Recommended readers
People who have a vague anxiety about the future
People who want to take on a challenge but cannot take that first step
People who worry too much about what others think
People who want to re-examine their way of life
People who are standing at a turning point in their lives
Readers who may not be a good fit
People looking only for quick-fix techniques (as this is a book that questions your way of life)
People looking for light entertainment (as the content is quite thought-provoking)
People who do not want to face themselves (as it contains many sharp questions)
Conclusion | A letter from your future self
If you are feeling lost in life right now, please pick up this book.
It is likely not a book that will give you the answers.
Instead, it will ask you over and over again, "How do you want to live?"
And I believe that when you can no longer run away from that question, your life will begin to move, little by little.
Before reading this book, I thought, "I need more knowledge."
However, now that I have finished it, I feel differently.
What I needed was the resolve to take just one step forward.
To start with, it doesn't have to be anything big.
Contact someone you want to see. Start something you've wanted to do for just 10 minutes. Tackle something you've been putting off.
That one step will build your future self.
If your future self could write a letter to you today, wouldn't they surely say this?
"Thank you. For finding the courage that day."
Life is not determined by talent. It is determined by how much resolve you have in living your own life.