Who Fills That Glass? No. 6.5

"Overseas is flat, while Japan is a hierarchical society."

People sometimes say this. However, this might be a somewhat crude perspective.

For example, in the UK, there is a famous etiquette guide called Debrett’s that deals with social, manner, and formal occasion protocols. I used to rely on it for work, and it clearly outlines roles such as seating order, hosts, guests of honor, toasts, and speeches. The guest of honor sits to the host's right, and the host manages the event—these principles are established in advance as the structure of the setting.

In Spanish-speaking regions, there is also a deep-seated sense of consideration for others and respect for hierarchical relationships, similar to Japan. In other words, it is not that Western countries lack hierarchy. The difference lies in where that hierarchy manifests.

In formal British-style settings, hierarchy is designed in a "visible form" through seating arrangements and the host's role. Who is the one welcoming? Who initiates the toast? The roles are decided before the event even begins.

On the other hand, in Japanese business dinners, hierarchy is sometimes embedded more deeply within actions.

Whose glass are you watching?
Who notices first?
Who holds back?
Who keeps the table in order?

Even overseas, people do encourage others to keep their glasses full. At Latin or Mediterranean tables, they might even pour more frequently than in Japan. Therefore, the difference is not about "whether or not to pour."

The question is, who does the pouring?

In British-style manners, consideration regarding wine and drinks is primarily discussed as the host's job. Ordering, choosing the wine, caring for guests, and managing the flow of the event are all the host's roles.

Conversely, in traditional Japanese business dinners, there are situations where it is considered "attentive" for a junior or subordinate to watch the glasses of the guest of honor or their own superior and move first.

Even with the same act of "filling a glass," the meaning changes completely depending on whether it is the host's hospitality or a subordinate's attentiveness.

It is not a simple matter of overseas being flat and Japan being hierarchical.

Both have hierarchies. The difference is simply where that hierarchy is placed and whose actions it manifests through.

How are small actions, before they become words, interpreted in different cultures? The difference also appears in whether or not one knows that grammar.

Next time a glass becomes empty at a dinner, it might be interesting to take a look. Who notices, and who moves? And is that drink an act of hospitality, attentiveness, or a role?

Culture shows even in a single glass.