The Fan Who Talked to Their Oshi

I have never met my oshi in person, including during their idol days. The only time I saw them live was at a concert.

I'm a student living in the provinces.
Even after I started working part-time, our schedules never aligned, and I couldn't even participate in events.
As for online events, I didn't even have the right to participate because I didn't have a credit card.
I kept wondering why I couldn't meet them when I cared about them so much and loved them so much.

Then, the day came when I got to talk to my oshi.
I won a giveaway on a radio show they were on and was able to talk to them over the phone. It was so sudden that my hands were shaking, my heart was pounding, and my voice was trembling; honestly, I don't remember much. I wanted to tell them how much I liked them, but I ended up saying something nonsensical like, 'Thank you for your wonderful face,' and I felt really down about it afterward.
But then! My oshi actually "recognized" me!!!!!!!! Even though I could only support them on social media, I was given the power word, 'I know you.' I felt like I could die and go to heaven.

About six months later, I won for a second time.
I had another chance to talk to my oshi. I thought I was going to die. I figured I would probably mess up big time at my part-time job the next day.
Learning from my first experience, I tried my best to stay calm and convey what I wanted to say. I was able to tell them my thoughts on their novel directly, and I was happy from the bottom of my heart. Their 'ehehe' was the cutest thing in the world.
I swear I will never forget this opportunity to talk to an oshi I had never met before.

—This is the draft I wrote in May 2021.

About a year and three months after the first day I talked to my oshi.
I was finally able to meet them.
At a time when I thought I might never be able to meet them, the dates seemed manageable if I tried hard enough, so I forced the plans into my schedule.
I was really looking forward to it, making a travel itinerary in advance and deciding to wear my favorite outfit.
In the end, it turned into a hectic, whirlwind trip.

When I arrived at the event venue and looked for the seat number on my ticket, it was the third row. It was incredibly close.
As I waited with a pounding heart, my oshi appeared from the side wearing a cuuuuute Santa costume.
They were cute to death. Cute as a demon.
I truly thought, 'So someone this cute really does exist in this world.'
Even after I got home, I was muttering to myself, 'They were just so damn cute...'

They had two buns with antennae, and orange inner-color hair showing, which they described as the embodiment of a 'woman who doesn't take the world seriously.'
Slender, beautiful legs visible from their short Santa shorts.
A tiny face the size of a fist.
And the way they would glance at the audience and burst into laughter whenever something funny happened during the event.
The way they would jump up and down with joy.

Everything was so precious and cute, and I was deeply moved in my heart thinking, 'Ah, my oshi really exists,' while my face was grinning so hard it was stretching past my mask (I think).

At the venue, I talked to other fans and celebrated the opening of the fan salon; it was so much fun.
On the train ride home, I almost cried.
I was able to meet the oshi I had been longing for.
I was able to see with my own eyes the oshi I love and adore so much.
Thinking that there is nothing happier than this, I couldn't help but feel like crying.
I felt so happy that my oshi exists, that I could meet them, and that I could love them this much.

I don't know when I'll be able to see them next. Perhaps as long as this situation doesn't settle down, I might not be able to squeeze in time to go see them again. If I'm being greedy, I want to see them more, go see their stage performances, and fly out whenever there's an event.
Even so, I will continue to live my life and keep loving my oshi, holding onto the more-than-sufficient fact and memory that 'I was able to meet my oshi.'

To my oshi.
I love you from the bottom of my heart.
Thank you for everything.