Life After Discharge Part 3 No. 81

It was around this time last year.
Based on the results of my company health checkup, I had a referral letter written to the gastroenterology department of the hospital I currently attend.
Looking at my planner, my first visit was on December 25th, Christmas Day.
Two days later, on the 27th, I had an endoscopy, and after the results came back in the new year, we scheduled the endoscopic surgery.
After that, a schedule for preoperative chemotherapy and surgery was set, and tests continued in parallel.
I never imagined back then that I would be hospitalized three times in one year.
You never know what will happen in life.
Although follow-up observations will continue, I am glad I chose this hospital.

When I was first discharged, I felt nothing but anxiety, wondering if this kind of life would continue forever.
The aftereffects of the surgery completely changed my life, and it felt like I was rebuilding my daily routine from scratch.
Six months have passed since then, and perhaps because my body has gradually become more comfortable and I have gotten used to this life, I have found a little bit of peace of mind.

・My weight has returned a little

My weight continued to drop immediately after discharge, and the prescribed nutritional supplements were ineffective.
When the number on the scale dropped below 35, I was truly horrified.
I hated looking at my skinny arms, so no matter how hot it was during the summer, I couldn't wear short sleeves.
I still haven't returned to my pre-surgery weight (39.5 kg), but I am getting closer to my post-surgery weight (37.7 kg).
I am still taking the nutritional supplements every other day.
Weight management is truly difficult, and gaining 1 kg is a daunting task.
Now, following the nutritionist's advice, I am trying to prioritize carbohydrates.
'If your weight doesn't return, your physical strength won't return either.'
I finally understood my doctor's perspective after experiencing it myself.

・I must maintain my muscle strength!

I started early morning walking two months after the surgery.
Around that time, my coughing had decreased, and I switched my cough medicine to herbal medicine.
Immediately after discharge, my lung function was low, and I would get out of breath just by moving a little.
The cough went away in about three months, and breathing became much easier.
My walking time is almost fixed at 30 to 40, and then 50 minutes.
Even though the time is the same, the distance is gradually increasing.
After walking, stretching and radio calisthenics have become part of my daily routine.
After that, I drink 100ml of milk mixed with Milo to get protein.
Following my rehabilitation therapist's advice, I strictly adhere to a minimum of 4,000 steps a day.

・Meals and post-meal dumping syndrome

Immediately after discharge, I really couldn't eat, and I only had bread porridge, somen noodles, and rice porridge.
And only a tiny amount at that.
Half a slice of 6-slice bread, and 80g of rice.
I had absolutely no hunger or appetite.
I was afraid of post-meal dumping syndrome, so I worriedly brought each spoonful to my mouth.
Now, the variety of my menu has increased.
I can now eat one slice of 5-slice bread and 140g of rice.
I am still a bit afraid to eat raw food, fried food, and soba noodles.
I also avoid chunks of meat and fatty fish.
Although there are things I intentionally avoid, I can eat quite a lot now as long as I avoid high-fat foods and am careful about how I cook.

・Sleep and the inclined sleeping pillow

After esophageal cancer surgery, acid reflux is prone to occur.
The only way to prevent it is to keep your upper body at an angle while sleeping, but I still haven't gotten used to sleeping on a slope.
I want to sleep on my stomach on a flat surface!
But my doctor told me that this would be impossible for the rest of my life.
So far, I have not been aware of any stomach acid reflux while sleeping.
Since discharge, I have been using an 'inclined sleeping pillow' with a 22-degree angle, but I slide down during the night.
Even so, I sleep about 6 hours a day, so my sleep time is not much different from before the surgery; if anything, it has increased slightly.

・Going out and eating out

My daily walk, weekly shopping, and monthly hospital visit.
That was all my going out after discharge.
The subway and crowds were tiring, so I was reluctant to go out.
Now, going out is not that much of a burden.
If I find out a movie I want to see is playing, I go to the theater, and I also visit libraries and bookstores.
The only person I meet is N-san, who was in the same room during my second hospitalization.
Since we live in the same ward, we have lunch or coffee nearby.
It took time, but I was able to eat about 70% of an omelet rice.
The other day, I ate fresh cream cake for the first time!
Family restaurants have a wide variety of menus, and I can even go to cafes now.

・Will I be able to work?

If possible, I want to do the same interior design work as before the surgery.
I think it depends on the company, but this job is not limited to office work.
Sometimes I am at construction sites all day, and there are many meetings outside the office.
And they can last for quite a long time.
I know that with my current physical strength, it is absolutely impossible.
How much will my body recover?
Will I be able to work full-time?
I don't know yet, so there is no point in thinking about it.
I can't help it, but there isn't a day I don't think about it.

・What I am feeling now

The changes after surgery were not just physical.
For example, even if I can input information to some extent, such as reading books or newspapers or watching movies, it takes an incredible amount of time to output.
My thinking ability and concentration have declined.
My mind and body are out of sync; there are things I want to do but can't, or things that take an excessive amount of time.
I don't know if I will get used to this state of being unable to do things, or if I will recover.
For now, I have no choice but to do what I can slowly.
Thinking that, I spend my days.