Middle Finger Wife, Episode 7: A Middle Finger to About Time
10:00 PM on a Saturday.
The washing machine stopped with a clunk, and I was on the balcony catching the night breeze.
Laughter from a TV show drifted from the next room.
Kana is on the verge of falling asleep while watching recorded anime.
Haruo sent a single LINE message saying, "Drinking with a junior from work today," and hasn't even read my reply. Anyway, he's probably drunk too much and is heading straight to his parents' house.
He hasn't really looked at Kana's face in the last six months. He spends more time looking at his own bedhead in the mirror.
He even used "work" as an excuse to skip her birthday and the nursery school observation.
Suddenly, the smartphone in my pocket vibrated. It's Mami.
"I watched 'About Time' on Netflix."
"I cried my eyes out. I was looking for something good to watch, and then..."
Netflix. Oh, look at the rich girl. I'm sticking to my annual Amazon Prime subscription, so I'd already watched it through other means.
The sweetness of that "life where you can redo things as many times as you want." Meanwhile, even my chicken breast, which is about to expire, will never be fresh again.
"It pisses me off. Having both love and money in the palm of your hand through time leaps—how much of a cheat setting is that?"
"I was more angry than I was moved to tears."
As soon as I typed that, it was marked as read.
"That's our Asako for you, lol."
"But you watched it, haha."
"I just thought, 'I'm fine on my own,' drank two cans, and went to sleep."
(She really hasn't changed.)
But just having this exchange of sharp-tongued banter makes the emptiness of the night feel a little less heavy.
When I returned to the room carrying the laundry basket, Kana stretched out on the sofa.
On the screen was a late-night movie that had been left on by accident.
An actress and an actor were hugging and crying.
"Mom, these people look happy."
"...It's a movie, honey. Reality is a long take with no cuts."
Kana blinked, not really understanding, and started breathing steadily in her sleep.
As I tucked a blanket over her knees, I felt a quiet urge to give the "man who can redo time" on the screen the middle finger.
—Even though in reality, there's no such thing as a "redo."
Asako thought to herself.
If I had a chance to go back, I'd want to tell my past self in the wedding studio, dressed in a white kimono:
"That man is a total fish sausage, so don't do it. Seriously!"
Midnight.
While shoveling down white rice heated in the microwave, I sent a long message to Mami on my phone.
"Even if I could time leap, my fridge is stuck with fish sausage. First, bring me a future where I can upgrade to pork."
"If possible, I'd like to leap into Haruo's head and reset his contents."
"And while you're at it, God, please delete Haruo's debt history and his parents' address book from the planet."
The stamp that came back was a rabbit laughing hysterically while giving the middle finger.
That's Mami for you, she gets it.
She turns the anger that can only be shared in the middle of the night into a lighthearted laugh.
I went back to the kitchen and sighed at the frying pan left in the sink.
I wish there were a "redo button" here, too. Zero grease, zero leftovers.
But life doesn't wash the dishes with a single click.
The TV had switched to the news, and a special feature on "yen depreciation and rising prices" had begun.
Convenience store bento prices up by 10 yen? Is fish sausage staying the same?
—Damn, isn't fish sausage saving the world a bit too much?
My middle finger twitched. But I didn't raise it today.
"Even if a time leap is impossible, at least don't miss the time sale."
While making mental retorts, I roll up the leftover rice from earlier and wrap it in plastic wrap.
Tomorrow's lunch is settled: tamagoyaki and this rice ball.
I have to keep my promise to go to the park with Kana.
For the sake of this child's smile, I'd even grill up fish sausage.
1:30 AM.
Another notification on my phone. A follow-up LINE from Asami.
One word before I pass out:
You know how the dad in 'About Time' says 'live life twice'?
If we act like we're living it for the second time, don't we win?
I couldn't help but burst out laughing. If it's the second time, I'm free to flip the bird as much as I want.
Okay. I'm thinking of this as the final boss battle on my second playthrough.
I replied with that and put my phone down. I turn off the room lights.
Kana's breathing is rhythmic. Time doesn't go back. It's not as sweet as in the movies.
That's why I learned the skill of retracting my middle finger. ...But, what if I could fly back to the past just one more time?
Not at the wedding photo studio, but in front of the refrigerated case at the fish sausage counter, I'd say this to Haruo.
Life can't be stored at room temperature, so make a proper choice!
He was always lukewarm, careless, running away from responsibility, and before I knew it, he lived a life where he 'made me choose' everything.
At that moment, a LINE message from Haruo, sounding like sleep-talking, pops up in my notifications.
I'm staying at my parents' place again tonight. I'm tired.
Seeing those words, Asako lets out a quiet sigh.
—That's why right now, I'm even angry at a single piece of fish sausage.
In the kitchen in the middle of the night, I quietly clench my fist.
—Instead of time-leaping, I have to check tomorrow's flyers.
Discounted pork bits will make our future just a little bit better.
I'll keep my middle finger tucked into a fist again tonight. But what if the price tag is wrong tomorrow?
In that case—it won't be as beautiful as in the movies, but
I'll sear my own version of 'precious time' into the fish meat.
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