[Shirokuma Literature Club] I wish Valentine's Day would just melt away in the rain

I wish I hadn't given him the chocolate.
Today is Valentine's Day. Even though it's the day to give chocolate to the boy you like, I couldn't even give it to him myself. I stood on the balcony, which had grown completely dark, with the cold winter rain wetting my feet, thinking about today over and over.

“Miyu. How long are you going to stay out there? You'll catch a cold. Dinner's ready.”
I hear my mother calling. I don't care if I catch a cold. In fact, if I caught a cold and could stay home from school, that would be much better. I don't want to eat, I don't want to talk to anyone, and my feet just wouldn't move from that spot.

The person I like is Oshima-kun, who is in my class. Oshima-kun is also in the same club as me, but we've never really talked properly. In this second-year class, boys and girls don't really talk to each other much. Besides, regardless of that, I only want to talk to people I'm close with. Because I don't really understand the point of being friendly with everyone. School is boring, but it has its fun parts, and the club is okay now that the seniors are gone. But I feel all muddled inside, and I hate myself for being like this.

I'm plain, I'm not cute, I stand out in class, and I'm not getting any better at table tennis. I really, truly hate myself like this. Because I hate myself, I escape into the world of books. The world of books is kind, it doesn't reject me, and I can become anyone. The me in the book is cute, smart, has a great personality, and is good at sports—everyone's favorite. I think that if I were the me in the book, Oshima-kun would surely like me too.

That's why I think Oshima-kun might find it annoying if someone like me gave him chocolate.

“Are you giving chocolate to anyone, Miyu?”
Chi-chan asked me during lunch break.
“Chocolate? I'm not sure. I'm still thinking about it.”
I answered vaguely while wrapping my empty lunch box in a cloth. Then, Usako, who was next to Chi-chan, said proudly,
“I'm giving chocolate to Oshima-kun. I already went and bought it.”

Oh, is that so? Do whatever you want, I think. Since Chi-chan and Usako were already friends, I'm in the same group as Usako, but I don't really like Usako, who is a show-off and likes to be in charge. Still, does Usako like Oshima-kun too? It's just so annoying.

“You should give him chocolate too, Miyu. Oh, hey, do you want to eat this?”
Hikaru-chan said that while giving everyone a mandarin orange.

The fifth period started. I was thinking about what to do with the Valentine's chocolate while watching the back of Oshima-kun, who was sitting in front of me. If Usako is giving him some, I don't want to lose to her, but I also worry that it would be a bother to Oshima-kun if someone like me gave it to him. I really don't know what to do. I wonder if it would have been better if I were cuter.

I went to club activities with my muddled feelings. While hitting the ball with Chi-chan, I just said, “I've decided to give it to him.” Chi-chan nodded with a smile.

On Sunday, Chi-chan and I went to town to buy chocolate. The variety store popular with young people had a Valentine's chocolate section set up, and many girls had come to buy chocolate. The sales floor was overflowing with pink and red, and it was full of delicious-looking chocolate. Seeing such chocolate made me smile naturally.

“They all look delicious.”
“I'd rather eat them myself than give them away, wouldn't you?”
We walked around the sales floor, but I couldn't decide. What kind should I give him? I don't know anything about what Oshima-kun likes or what kind of things he enjoys. But I chose the chocolate that I thought was the best at that moment.

It's fine that I bought the chocolate, but how should I give it to him? I really can't give it to him myself. What should I do...

When I was worrying, Chi-chan said she would give it to him for me. I decided to ask Chi-chan. Of course, it would be better to give it to him myself, but I didn't have the courage. So, I had no choice...

On Valentine's Day, I went to school with the chocolate. Chi-chan was already in the classroom.
“Morning, Chi-chan. Please take care of it today.”
“Morning, Miyu. Yeah, leave it to me!”
Chi-chan said it confidently.

I felt restless from the morning on this day. Lunch break came in a flash, homeroom ended in a flash, and before I knew it, I was in the club room. I gave the chocolate to Chi-chan in the club room. Chi-chan patted me on the shoulder and left the club room carrying the paper bag with the chocolate inside.

A few minutes later, Chi-chan came back.
“Miyu, I gave it to him.”
“Thank you, Chi-chan. Really, thank you.”
I couldn't give it to him myself, but at least I was able to get it to him. Was this the right thing to do? It was, right? It was, right?

It was raining when club activities ended. It was a very cold, chilly rain. But I wanted to go home in the rain. After I parted ways with my friends and was alone, I intentionally pedaled my bicycle slowly because I wanted to get wet. I thought, I wish I could just melt away into the rain like this.

“Miyu. Why are you all wet? Didn't you wear your raincoat? You'll catch a cold. Go take a bath quickly.”
My mother said to me, looking exasperated. But I didn't take a bath. After changing my clothes and drying my hair with a towel, I went out to the balcony. The rain was getting stronger and stronger, wetting my feet as I stood on the balcony. It was very cold, but I couldn't move from there.

The frustration of not being able to give the chocolate myself and my lack of self-confidence were all mixed up, and I stayed there for a long time. I wish I could just melt away into the rain. Thinking that I wish Valentine's Day would just melt away into the rain.

+++++++++++++++

I am participating in the Shirokuma Literature Club 💛
This week's theme is "Chocolate".

Since the theme is chocolate, I wrote a short-short story for the Miyu-chan series.
This time, it's a story about Valentine's Day when I was in the second year of junior high.

As I have written before, I was in the middle of my dark ages when I was in the second year of junior high, and I spent a very gloomy year.

My Valentine's Day back then is a dark history where I had a friend give the chocolates for me because I lacked so much self-confidence.
Honestly, I don't remember much about the actual day of Valentine's, so it is quite embellished.
Whether it was actually raining cold rain on that day, the day before, or the day after, I am not even sure about that anymore.
This is the story of the only Valentine's Day where I couldn't give the chocolates myself.

🍫Past Miyu-chan series

Thank you for reading until the end today as well♪

#ShirokumaLiteratureClub
#Chocolate