[Shirokuma Literature Club] When That Day Comes ~ #December

On the first Saturday of December at lunchtime, Shota visited my place, which was unusual.

“What’s wrong? Is it okay for you to come over on the weekend?”
“It’s fine. She’s going to a concert with her friends starting today.”

Shota and I are not officially a couple. That’s because Shota has a girlfriend he’s been with for a long time. I don’t know what Shota thinks, but my heart longs for him, and I can’t seem to break off this relationship.

“What should we do for lunch? Should we go out to eat somewhere?”
“Oh, I bought some.”
As he said that, he held out a bag containing lunch from a popular curry shop.

The curry, which had large chunks of meat in it, was mild, but I felt a spicy kick at the end.

“How is it? The curry here.”
“Yeah, it’s delicious. It’s not that spicy, so even I can eat it.”
“Right? Yui, you’re not good with spicy food, are you?”
While eating the curry, I thought that our relationship was just like this curry.

“I have something to tell you today.”
Shota opened his mouth while winding my hair, which was pressed tightly against his chest, around his finger. Even though I could clearly feel the warmth of our skin against each other, I could feel my body turning cold. Has this day finally come?

“I’m getting married.”
“I see. That’s good. When is the ceremony?”
“It’s in April.”

So this day had finally arrived after all.

Shota might even be feeling my heart pounding. I braced myself, trying to keep my mind from going blank, and mustered all my strength.

“Then, I won’t see you anymore, Shota.”
My voice might have been trembling.
“Why? I don’t want to be apart from you, Yui.”
“What are you saying? You’re getting married, right? You chose her, that’s all there is to it. I don’t want to be involved in an affair.”

Shota kissed me. While savoring the sensation of his tongue, I wanted to just surrender myself without thinking about anything. I wanted to feel only the pleasure. I wanted to tell him not to get married. I wanted him to keep seeing me forever and ever. Even if it was just a tryst once a week, and even if I was just a convenient existence for Shota.

But.

I pushed away Shota, who had reached for my breasts, and sat up.
“Shota, go home. Don’t come here anymore.”
“What’s wrong? I love you, Yui. Because you’re here, I…”
“I love you too. But there’s nothing we can do about it now, is there? So, please go home. Otherwise, I’ll keep pestering you.”

“Yui, thank you for everything until now. Please come to the ceremony.”
I heard the sound of the front door closing with a thud. I thought I should go lock it, but my body wouldn’t move. “Please come to the ceremony,” he said. I felt a slight sense of despair at Shota’s words. The fact that he could say something like that while claiming to love me meant that I was, after all, only that much of an existence to him.

I sluggishly locked the door while still naked and wrapped myself in the blanket again. The feel of the smooth blanket against my bare skin was comforting. I had a strange thought that I was glad I had splurged on a good blanket with last year’s bonus.

I fell asleep just like that and had a dream. In it, I was wearing a white dress, standing next to Shota with a huge smile on my face. When I woke up, a single tear ran down my cheek.

At that moment, my stomach growled, and I couldn’t help but laugh. Even at a time like this, I still get hungry. I found myself endearing, and I couldn’t help but feel that I would be able to go on living and that I would be okay.

++++++++++

I am participating in the Shirokuma Literature Club💛
This week's theme is "December".

Mr. Honma's saxophone in this live performance was incredibly cool and gave me goosebumps.

I kind of wanted to write about this kind of worldview.
It's already December, isn't it?
Clean up this year's mess within this year.
Just kidding.

Found a commercial featuring Ima Ikuyo Kuruyo!
So nostalgic...

Thank you for reading until the end today as well♪

#ShirokumaLiteratureClub
#December