You Cannot Save Your Past Self Through Business—Creating Value and 'Healing Yourself' May Be Different Endeavors

Introduction: The Wish to 'Spare Others from the Same Experience'

“I want to reduce the number of people who go through what I did.”
There are many businesses and social initiatives that begin with such a wish.

Someone who experienced bullying gets involved in education.
Someone who was a young caregiver starts support activities.
Someone who experienced illness or disability creates a new service.
Someone who experienced harassment works on building an organization where everyone can work with peace of mind.

I, too, have my own experiences as the starting point for my current activities.
Therefore, I do not want to deny such motivations at all.

On the contrary, I believe the value born from knowing human pain is truly immense.

However, I recently noticed a sense of discomfort.

It is the question of whether we have, without realizing it, made creating value and trying to save your past self into the same endeavor.

■ Even When Activities Are Going Well, There Is a Lingering Pain

Among those engaged in social activities or business, there are people who continue to carry a strange sense of suffering.

• They are thanked by others.
• They are delivering value to society.
• They are blessed with colleagues.

Yet, their hearts remain somehow unfulfilled.

The more they face their activities, the more they face their own past.

And then, they suddenly realize:
“No matter how many people I save, I cannot save the me from that day.”

This feeling is very poignant.

But it is not because the activity is wrong.

In fact, I thought it might be because the roles have become mixed up.

■ Business Is an Endeavor to Create Value in the World

Business and social activities are inherently very outward-facing endeavors.

• They reduce someone's troubles.
• They create new value.
• They expand the possibilities of the future.

What is evaluated is 'what has been created in the world.'

On the other hand, the endeavor of healing oneself is different.
This is about restoring the relationship with oneself.

• That was truly painful.
• I was right to be hurt back then.
• I did not have to blame myself.

What is evaluated is 'how I have come to see myself'.

Both are important.

However, their purposes are different.

■ Mixing the two makes the activity itself painful

If social activity becomes a condition where
[[phN_open]]if this succeeds, my past self will finally be saved.[[phN_close]]

a condition where the activity will gradually become burdensome.

No matter how many people you save, the feeling that 'the me of that day was not saved' will continue to remain.

Conversely, on days when your heart is in pain, you may feel that 'the activity has no meaning either.'

Evaluating your inner self by external results, and evaluating external results by your inner state.

When these two are mixed, people become exhausted without even realizing it.

■ Perhaps only you yourself can save your past

I myself recently had an experience that finally made me realize this mixing.

I have finally been able to clearly acknowledge that my own experience was 'harassment'.

For a long time, I had been denying it all along.

'It was not a big deal,'
'I was just weak,'
'It was my responsibility for letting it happen.'

I kept thinking that way.

But acknowledging it was different from blaming the other person.

'I was hurt.'

First, it was about accepting that fact myself.

And anger will likely follow this.

'That was unreasonable,'
'I should not have been treated like that in the first place.'

This anger is not for attacking anyone.

I believe these are the emotions necessary to reclaim one's dignity.

Unfortunately, these endeavors cannot be replaced by business.
I also realize that trying to do so is painful.

This is because the only way to update the meaning of the past is through dialogue with oneself.

■ From 'Pitiful Protagonist' to 'Resilient Protagonist'

For example, let's say there is someone who was a young carer.

At first,

It is very important to be able to think,

'I was a person who deserved to be saved.'
This is to acknowledge the wounds as wounds.

However, there is no need to continue living in that place.

Eventually, while continuing support activities,

'Not all young carers were unhappy.'
'Even within the suffering, there were individual lives.'

You will also come to realize these things.

And then, one day, you might be able to think this about yourself as well:

'Those days were certainly difficult.'
'But I managed to survive them.'
'That is why I can face this activity now.'

At that moment, your past self,

'A tragic protagonist waiting to be saved'

is no longer that,

'An endearing and resilient protagonist'

but transforms into that instead.

The events themselves do not change.

But the story changes.

■ Breaking the curse

I have recently come to think of 'healing' as 'breaking a curse'.

A curse is...

'It is meaningless unless I save everyone.'
'It is a waste unless I turn this experience into a contribution to society.'
'If my activities do not succeed, I cannot be saved either.'

It is an unconscious contract with oneself.

Breaking a curse means...

'It is okay to do it.'
'Even if I don't do it, my value remains unchanged.'

It is reclaiming the freedom to think this way.

And, even then,'But, I want to do it.'being able to think that.

The activity that exists there is not an obligation.

It becomes creation.

Conclusion—Hope is reclaiming the freedom to head toward the future

I continue to think about the theme of 'hope literacy'—that is,the power to weave hope from any situation.

I used to think that hope was 'being able to believe there is an exit'.

Now, I can see one more important thing.

Hope is,being able to want to create a future even after the curse is broken, isn't it?

Creating value and healing yourself.

These two do not conflict.
You can walk them simultaneously.

However, you do not have to make one activity carry both roles.

Business and social activities are endeavors to create value for the future.
Healing is an endeavor to restore your relationship with yourself.
They flow like separate rivers, eventually pouring into the same sea.

I believe that is the kind of relationship it is.

If you are currently working hard for someone else, and yet you still feel an inexplicable sense of pain at times.

It is not because your work is wrong.

Perhaps the role you have been carrying alone for so long—the idea that you must also save your past self—has simply become a bit too heavy.

Healing your past self and delivering value to someone in the future.

When we can gently separate those two things in our minds.

Perhaps we can finally regain the freedom to say, 'I create because I want to create,' rather than 'I must save.'

I believe in that hope.

Thank you for reading until the end☆

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