You Don't Need Guilt

I'm Chihiro, and I'm in the camp that likes it pitch black when sleeping.

Thank you for reading again today.🌷

The nightlight is too bright.
I'm scared of the dark, but I like it pitch black when I sleep.
I like the moonlight spilling through the gap in the curtains even more.

But I am a huge scaredy-cat.

If I have a scary dream, I won't be able to go to the bathroom alone,
you know.

The monster that headed toward "[Surname]" left a huge impression on me,
but "[Surname]" wasn't in the dream.

[Surname] is
the surname of the coach of my son's volleyball team.
I heard it clearly.

The day before I had this dream,
I was discussing the way of coaching
with the parents.
Most of the content was complaints.
To think it would appear in a dream in this form.

In the dream,
I wasn't scared because I wasn't being attacked.
But after I woke up,
a feeling of terror welled up inside me.

Still, that monster...
It was definitely Palm.

🟥 The True Identity of the Monster

A slender woman, face not visible, bright red dress, spells don't work.

Not one specific person,
but an embodiment of the fear, anger, and discomfort shared by the group.

What we were talking about the day before:
"Dissatisfaction with the coach"
"An atmosphere where everyone thinks it, but nothing can be done about it"

That is appearing as an entity that has taken the form of unreasonableness.

The reason the face is not visible is because
it is a state of "not being able to grasp the essence" or "not being able to look the true nature in the eye."

🟧 The Reason I Am Not Attacked

Because I am not in the central conflict structure.

A position where I can maintain calmness.
I can view it objectively.
I am not too emotionally involved.

But at the same time, I am also "someone who has seen it" and "someone who has noticed it."

That is why I shout to warn them.

🟩 "XXX" is not there

In the dream, the monster spoke the name of "XXX" and
headed toward "XXX",
but I did not see "XXX".

Yet the monster headed toward "XXX" without hesitation.

The cause is not the individual, but
the role, structure, or position that person symbolizes.

In the dream, "XXX" has no face, actions, or personality depicted.

It exists only as a "destination."

This dream shows "where the problem is concentrated" rather than "who is to blame."

🟦 The spell doesn't work

The spell represents logical arguments, rules, and methods that have worked until now.
None of them are working at all.

Even in reality,
in an environment where "there are other ways," "everyone thinks so," or "that's not sincere"

still changes nothing.
The dream depicts this as a world where the spell has been nullified.

🟪 I want to run away, but my legs are heavy

The desire to run away in this dream is not about avoiding fear.

I know I won't be attacked, but I still want to run away.
=> An instinct to detach myself from an unhealthy place.

But my legs are heavy and I cannot run.
=> Responsibility, roles, and connections have become embodied.

My legs didn't move because ethics outweighed my emotions.

And above all, the dream does not depict the world I would run to.
=> If the destination is not visible, the unconscious stops the action.

Where would I go, who would I stand with, and what would happen to my son if I ran?
Because that has not yet been put into words, the dream stopped here for me.

⬛️ I became scared after waking up

In the dream, I wasn't scared because I knew I was in a safe zone.

The fear welled up after I woke up because
my heart knew it was a problem continuing in reality.
- The problem is not solved.
- The monster has not disappeared.
- It might appear again.
=> The dream is over, but the situation continues.

That gap rose up as fear.

🌙 A message from the unconscious

I am not the one to fix things with logical arguments,
nor am I the one to accept emotions,
nor am I the one to read the room and stay.

🌟There is no need to exhaust yourself here, is there?
🌟Let's keep our distance, and you don't need to feel guilty.

🎯 Summary

The faceless monster clearly said the name.

I felt a chill after waking up.
My heart started racing after I woke up.
Palm, it was truly terrifying...

The names of people close to me
in my dream
were clearly called out by something unknown.

I never expected such a feeling of terror to well up inside me.

I wonder if my heart is that deeply captured by the leaders.

I've only remembered the contents of my dreams a few times since the new year began,
but almost all of them are related to Barebo.

I decided to re-evaluate my position.
Until now, I've been too involved, handling various arrangements and acting as a contact person.

I'll step back a little.
But, I don't need to feel guilty.

Chiharu Miyai🌿