Listening More, Being More Humble, and Not Negating Myself or Others

What I am consciously focusing on as my 'personal challenge = the way of life I want to cherish' from now on is,
as the title suggests,

“Listening more, being more humble, and not negating myself or others.”

It is.

Through accumulating various experiences, I have understood in my head that
in my head
“Listening is important!”
“Being humble is important!”
“Do not negate yourself or others!”

I understand these things and I always want to be that way.
No, I was even arrogant enough to think, 'I am already doing this.'

However, I realized that the small failures and weaknesses I experience in human relationships, where I think 'I did it again,' might be happening precisely because I am not doing these three things well enough.

I began to feel this way while reading books and notes, and while receiving coaching.

One of those books is 'The Habit of Not Negating'.

Reading this, I thought,“Maybe I’m not doing this at all. There are times when I negate both myself and others.”

And I also started to think,
if I had“listened thoroughly,” perhaps I could have conveyed things in a way that didn't make the other person feel negated.I began to think that.

Also, regarding 'being more humble,' for me, it is 'a sentiment I want to cherish precisely because I cannot do it yet.' However, it is not about 'keeping my thoughts and realizations to myself and enduring them for the sake of a good relationship,' but rather, I believe that 'listening and not negating the other person' is what truly leads to the 'being humble' that I am aiming for.

As I mentioned in a previous article, the strengths derived from my CliftonStrengths assessment are written in the following article.

As I wrote in the article above, my top 10 strengths are as follows.

It is completely me (lol).
The results were such that I felt they all represented me.
CliftonStrengths is formidable.

I often end up offering opinions or advice to others, thinking it is for their own good.
Not only that, but I sometimes think I am not wrong, that I am right, and I try to persuade the other person with my own logic.

But now, before that,
I want to become someone who listens thoroughly, is humble, and does not negate others.
And I want to be able to convey my thoughts only when the other person asks for them.

Now, it is not about logic or how things 'should' be, but I truly feel this way from my heart.

Of course, I accept that as a blind spot of my CliftonStrengths, these are also my weaknesses and flaws. Regarding how to deal with or use my strengths when they sometimes manifest as weaknesses, I want to learn through practice rather than negating myself, feeling depressed, or losing confidence because of it.

However, I also think that if I am always fighting my weaknesses, failing to use my strengths effectively, losing confidence in myself, and negating myself, then that would also mean 'not being like myself'.

However, I now feel that these are not things you naturally acquire just by being conscious of them; rather, they become part of you by engaging with people, learning that there are many different ways of thinking, apologizing honestly when necessary, and making an effort to control (regulate) your own feelings.

Precisely because I feel I am not yet doing these things well enough, I want to keep them in mind and keep my heart in check as my 'personal challenge = a way of life I want to cherish'.

By doing so, I hope to face my strengths and weaknesses well, build up my own 'true self' naturally and without strain, and live while cherishing that.

Now that I have reached this realization, I have struggled, worried, and been hurt a lot,
and although I have had many people listen to me and have learned a lot, and not all of those feelings have disappeared, there are things I have been able to overcome little by little.

It still takes courage to write about it in an article, but I plan to write about more personal and specific things in my paid magazine 'Nijiiro Doori' (Rainbow Street) and elsewhere in the future.
I believe that by being able to write about it on note and posting it, I will be able to truly forgive others and forgive myself, and that will be the moment I have overcome a major challenge.

For now, I will not rush or corner myself (lol), but will slowly accept the messages given to me, and when the time comes, I will write about what I have learned from my failures.

🌸 Introducing a wonderful note ☆彡

While I was taking a walk through the town of note this morning, I came across another wonderful article.

🌸 cukai-san

<Excerpt from 'The World's Most Amazing Success Principles' by Hitori Saito>

God does not create flaws

God does not create flaws.
Even what I think are my flaws were given to me by God.
So, I want to make those treasures shine well so they don't go to waste 💗

Also, it was a little while ago, but I will paste an article here that resonated with me.

🌸 Tetsuya Niizato-san

Niizato-san says that it is a bit strange to say, 'This is my strength.'
In a sense, I say 'This is my strength' based on CliftonStrengths, but that is only what was brought out by the assessment.
I certainly think that my strengths are exactly who I am, but
I also think the perspective that 'the other person decides' what those talents are is not wrong.

From Niizato-san's article

自分で短所だと思っている事や
思い出したくない過去の失敗などは
案外、大きな強みになりやすい。

These words are encouraging (⋈◍＞◡＜◍)。✧♡
Thank you 💗

#ActiveListening
#Humility
#DoNotDeny
#BeingMyself
#HabitOfNotDenying
#OutputtingThoughts
#WonderfulNote
#Strengths