The Time Left for Me⌚

Lately, I sometimes wonder how much time I have left.
Especially after working in the funeral industry...

When I was young, I never even thought about the time I had left.

There was always a tomorrow, a next year, and a future.

I still think of myself as young, but at the very least, the time I have left to live is shorter than the time I have already lived.

And lately, I keenly feel how quickly a day and a week pass by.
I feel a sense of sadness when evening comes.

"I want to do this," "I want to do that."
"I want to study this," "I want to read this book."
"I want to take on a challenge," "I want to do my best."
"I want to take it easy."
"I want to live with a smile without pushing myself too hard."

All sorts of feelings arise, but since time passes so quickly, I feel like there aren't enough hours in a day💦

And then, I suddenly wonder.
How much time do I have left, I wonder...

How much time can I spend with my 87-year-old mother?

How many times can I meet my child, whom I only see once or twice a year?

Perhaps it is because I think this way that I am always conflicted about how I should use the time I have left.

I don't want to do things I dislike or things that are impossible, and drive myself into a corner.
That is why I always say I want to live a "relaxed and fluffy" life (*^-^*)

But then again, I don't think that just living idly without doing anything is happiness either.

Yes, I want to use the time given to me"for someone, for something."And if I have any strength (including unknown potential I might develop from here on), I would be happy if I could use it for something, even a little.

And precisely because the time I have left is short, I want to cherish how I use it.

The time I spend as a writer, time for gardening, time for note, time for my temp job, time for housework, time with my family, time for traveling, time for seeing beautiful things, time for joy, time for soaking in hot springs, time for sleeping... I want to cherish all of it💛
I still want to take on challenges too💛

Time on social media is not wasted time either. (Though I do need to be careful about managing it.)

It is also a blessing that I can meet so many people even at this age.

And if possible, I hope to have deep relationships, even if just a few, rather than shallow and broad ones.

Today, I worked at a funeral.
It was for someone still in their 60s.
They were fine until yesterday, but it seems they passed away from a heart attack before they even realized it.

After working at a funeral, I inevitably end up thinking about "living" and "dying."

It is by no means a negative feeling, nor am I giving up.

But, for anyone, there might not be a tomorrow.

And it might be the last day you get to see your family or your parents.

That is precisely why I want to cherish the time I am given.
I want to make sure I have no regrets about my connections with people.

Thinking about such things this evening...

May everyone be happy today and tomorrow as well💛

#Living
#Dying
#Time
#DailyNote
#ContinuousNotePosting
#Happiness
#Tomorrow