The last day of July, just as I feel 💛

Today marks the end of July 2023 🎵

I posted an article on June 1st about stopping my daily posts, was hospitalized on June 7th, had surgery on the 8th, and was discharged on June 16th ☆彡

After finishing my one-week and one-month checkups safely, I spent June and July taking great care of myself, not pushing too hard, and living in a relaxed and leisurely way, and today is the final day (^^)/

I think this might be the first time in my life that I have spent such a long time just relaxing and doing what I could and what I wanted to do 💛

From my hospitalization and surgery until after my one-month checkup, my strength didn't return and I still had pain, so while I worried, "Am I going to be okay?" I thought,
since I had this time, I would do things I hadn't been able to do,
so I read books, watched movies on Amazon Prime, and strolled through the streets of note, enjoying it to the fullest 🎵
Thanks to that, I was able to read many books from my "to-read" pile and watch many movies I had wanted to see (#^.^#)

However, while living that kind of life, a conflict also arose within me.

I was solely keeping myself in the "here and now," and in a sense, I wondered if it was okay to continue these days where I didn't push myself and was perhaps even coddling myself...

But the time came, just as it should.
Without rushing, my body slowly recovered over time, and I realized that not only my body but also my heart would not stay in the same place forever.
And I also learned that I wouldn't just remain a sloth forever (lol)

And through this experience, I was given new realizations about my connections with people, their warmth, and the fact that I live supported by others.
I feel that this experience also has great meaning for me 💕

Since my strength has gradually returned, I've started taking morning walks, doing garden and farm work, and even pushed myself a little to help my eldest son move...
By starting to move, I am slowly, little by little, returning to my previous daily life.

June and July, which I thought were fine to spend in a relaxed and leisurely way.

But for August, starting tomorrow, I don't want to be in the same place as July; I want to accumulate new experiences as a new me.

Of course, it goes without saying that I shouldn't push myself and should cherish my present self, but
I hope to slowly start moving forward with the wishes and dreams that had come to a standstill as my own personal matters... and I want to expand what I can do, not just for my own comfort, but to make the most of my living self 💗

First, that means making a small challenge to change my current situation, even if it's a bit tough for my body.
While taking care of my body, I will also act for the sake of my family.
And, without forgetting the past where I unconsciously failed to cherish myself and those around me, I won't let myself be pulled back into the past or regret it; instead,
while practicing introspection and meditation, and enriching myself through reading, I want to make August a month where I start walking slowly but energetically, as someone who is not alone, supported by my family, friends, and companions 💗

The days are abnormally hot 💦
The vegetables in my home garden seem to be screaming too 💦

I water them, weed them, and add fertilizer so they can get better,
and I cheer them on by saying, "Do your best!"
but on the other hand, I sometimes wonder if I'm pushing them too hard by adding fertilizer (lol)

In this heat, when I see the cucumbers weakening earlier than usual, I naturally want to say to them, "It can't be helped since it's so hot this year. Thank you for everything until now."

It's the same for humans, isn't it?
It can't be helped if our movements are restricted by this heat,
so let's not rush, not push ourselves, and walk forward little by little, from where we can 🎵

Please take care of yourselves and don't push too hard
(*^-^*)

May today be a good day as well
(⋈◍＞◡＜◍)。✧♡

#LastDayOfJuly
#JustAsTheMoodTakesMe
#AugustStartsTomorrow
#Murmurs
#Essay
#CurrentMood
#HereAndNow
#AugustCalendar
#CrapeMyrtleFlowers