I want to be someone who 'embraces' rather than 'grasps'

When interacting with others,
it is important to
share information that the other person does not know.

In the workplace, we
teach each other about tasks we don't know...

In a learning environment,
we teach each other words or methods we don't know...

In a social setting,
we listen to stories like "this happened, that happened"...

Humans are creatures that think,
"I want others to know the information I have."

How do you
receive what the other person is saying?

Do you listen by saying, "Yeah, that's right,"
and then immediately reply, "But there is also this method"?

At first glance, this might give the impression of being
a "capable person" who gives advice for the other person's sake, but...

From the other person's perspective,
"I just wanted to be heard,
but I wasn't accepted," which actually leads to frustration.

So, how should you
receive what the other person is saying?

The theme this time is,
I want to be someone who "embraces"
rather than "grasps."

To the question of what to grasp or what to embrace, the answer is simply
"the other person's heart."

And specifically, in daily conversation,
"how to embrace the other person's heart."

I propose that being someone who embraces the other person's heart
rather than grasping it
is important for building good human relationships.

Why should we
"embrace" rather than "grasp"?

I will explain in detail.

Let's get started ♬

✔ How to listen to others

Have you ever been
conscious of who holds the initiative in a conversation?

If the conversation starts from the other person,
they hold the initiative.

If it starts "from you,"
you hold the initiative.

As long as someone holds the initiative in a conversation,
regardless of the content,
"acting as if you are listening"
leads to building trust with the other person.

The problem is, after listening,
what should you do to make a good impression
on the other person?

How can you make them feel,
"This person really listened to what I had to say"
after you have listened to them?

So!
The nuance of the words I want you to consider are
"grasping" and "embracing."

"Grasping" means to firmly seize something.
To hold, to grab and not let go, to give no room for argument.
It carries a strong, forceful impression.

Conversely...

"Embracing" means
to gently wrap something from all sides.
It is soft, kind, and accepting.
It carries an impression of empathy and agreement.

When I listen to someone,
I prefer to listen with a mindset of "embracing"
rather than "grasping."

✔ What does it mean to listen by "embracing"?

I mentioned the initiative earlier.

If the conversation starts from the other person, they have the initiative.

Basically,
it is forbidden to steer the conversation in a way that takes control away from the other person.

In most cases, this does not leave a good impression on the other person.

※There are cases where an unexpected move can lead to laughter, so this does not always apply to everything. It is quite difficult unless you have built a strong relationship of trust (;^_^A

Even if someone was in the middle of telling their own story, if you suddenly steer the conversation in a completely different direction,
anyone would feel annoyed.

That is precisely why,
when I am in a position to listen to someone,
I commit myself to listening with a feeling of 'embracing' them.

"I see."
"I understand... that's true!"
"As I thought, I felt the same way."

By doing so, I respect the other person
and strongly express my empathy.

Matching the other person's expressions,
I smile, feel sad, or get angry along with them...

Even beyond words,
I maintain a 'listening posture' to embracethe other person,
keeping their story at the center.

If you think in terms of 'embracing,'
your thoughts will focus on how to make the conversation work
without hurting the other person's existence.

If you can maintain that 'embracing' posture,
you will naturally be able to build relationships
that earn deep trust from others.

✔ Listening as if to grasp

Contrary to 'embracing,'
what is the image of listening as if to 'grasp'?

The primary impression is
the image of 'stealing the other person's story.' (How terrifying...)

Suppose the other person starts a story,
and the main point of the content is established...

I consider
thrusting your own opinion against that main point
to be a 'grasping' posture.

Are there any errors in the other person's story?
Are there parts to deny?
Is there a different way of thinking?

Because I want to prove that "my opinion is correct," I listen to the other person's story with a
desire to "grasp"
the essence of the conversation.

Certainly, in a setting for productive exchange of opinions, this stance of being certain of one's own opinion is important.

This is because, in order to have confidencein one's own opinion, the perspective of comparing it with the other person's story is absolutely necessary.

However...

Is it okay to listen to the other person's story with a "grasping" feeling anytime and anywhere? That is not the case.

Since the other person has gone to the trouble of starting the conversation, you should help make their story more engaging.

Before doubting the other person's story, I believe that empathizing and sharing the joy at least once is an important action that makes us human.

People who listen to others with a "grasping" feeling, without exception, have one
major characteristic.

That is a strong desire to "be recognized."

It is what is known as "the desire for approval."

The more a person strongly feels that they are not being recognized by those around them in their daily life, the more they will force their own story forward rather than making the other person's story more engaging.

Therefore, when you see someone who keeps steering the conversation toward "me, me," I think it is enough to just think in the back of your mind, "They are seeking approval from those around them."

There is no need to think any further than that.

Because there is a
possibility that you, too, could become that kind of person.

✔Starting tomorrow
　Become a 'person who embraces'

Be a better listener than a talker.

I think this is something often said
to build good human relationships.

In that sense,
wanting to be someone who 'embraces' rather than 'grasps'
has the same nuance.

How well can you understand the other person's position
and empathize with them?

In an internet society where we can
'connect' with the whole worldwith a single click,
I feel this is an essential skill.

Also,'embracing'people are the ones you want to help,
and they won't betray you when it counts.

You can build important relationships between people.

I myself am still immature
and in the middle of my own journey.

I will surely continue to live
with the help of many people.

That is why,
with gratitude as the foundation of my heart,
I hope to be more conscious of being someone who 'embraces'
when I converse.

I hope this will be helpful to everyone.

Well then, until next time.
Goodbye.