The reason why I am perceived by those around me as a "person who doesn't get angry"

This is not to brag, but
I do not get angry.

Or rather, I am
perceived by those around me as a "person who doesn't get angry."

My friends have said things like
"I can't even imagine Shogo getting angry lol"
and so on...

My family has said things like
"Shogo, you're so kind. You never get angry at all."

And to top it off, my boss even says,
"Are you Buddha or something!"

I have completely been
labeled as a "person who doesn't get angry."

Of course, I personally take this
as an "honor" 😌

The theme this time is
the reason why I am perceived by those around me as a "person who doesn't get angry"
.

Why is it that I don't get angry?

What should one do to be perceived as a person who doesn't get angry?

How do I deal with all the anger in daily life?

I would be happy if you could read on while empathizing from your own perspective.

Well then, let's get started (^^♪

✔ I also get angry

First, this is a major premise.

I also get angry (lol)

When faced with unreasonable situations or
circumstances that don't yield results,
“anger” flares up instantly
like a flash heater.

Of course, I am human, so
I feel plenty of things too😅

Please understand that
I am by no means a Buddha-like deity.

So, why is it that
I am perceived as
a 'person who doesn't get angry'?

In my case,
the moment 'anger' is born,
I do not express it as an emotion.

Because I do not express it,
I am recognized as a 'person who doesn't get angry'.

Instead of 'getting angry = expressing emotion', I use a method to
temporarily insert
“something”in between,making it 'getting angry = something = expressing emotion'.

That 'something' is...

To put it bluntly!

“Taking a breath”

is it.

✔ If you feel irritated,
　Take a pause

When I am about to snap and 'get angry',
I take a breath.

I take a slow, deep breath in,
and exhale with a whoosh.

In terms of time, it's about two to three seconds.

Of course,
without letting those around me notice.

Then,
strangely enough, the feelings of irritation fade
and I can regain my composure.

"Anger" is said to be
most likely to occur
the moment you encounter the event.

That is precisely why, in order to avoid that split second,
I made it a rule to take a deep breath.

Thanks to that, I have stopped
taking out the emotion of "anger" on those around me.

I recommend it ♬

✔After getting angry,
　what do you want to achieve?

As for the reason I can act as a "person who doesn't get angry",
I feel that daily mindset is important.

I have
started thinking, "After getting angry, what do I want to achieve?"

There are "people who get angry" around me.

Of course,
there are also "people who get yelled at."

Objectively speaking, I
often witnessed
the "subsequent behavior of the person who was yelled at"
which resulted in a "state that doesn't lead to very good results."

The person who was yelled at almost alwaysexpresses dissatisfaction.

"Why,
　are you getting angry over something like this!"

"You don't have to
　go that far!"

"I've already reflected enough...
give me a break."

I often heard such complaints
from people who had been scolded.

The person who got angry might feel relieved
that they "conveyed their intentions"
by scolding the other person.

However,
the person who was scolded carries stress.

This kind of state creates distortions in human relationships,
and it is likely to drag on
as a major problem for subsequent relationships.

That is precisely why it is important
not to easily give in to the emotion of "getting angry."

Of course,
in momentary situations like "It's dangerous!" or "Watch out!",
the act of scolding someone
is for the other person's benefit.

What I want to say is,
"After you get angry, what do you want to happen?"

After getting angry,
how do you want the other person to act?

When you want the other person to act in a pleasant way,
is the method of "getting angry" appropriate?

I feel that I want you to think about this carefully once more.

✔ If you don't get angry,
will people look down on you?

The argument of people who often choose
"getting angry" as an emotional expression is...

"If I don't get angry, I'll be looked down on by others,"
which is a reason often cited.

"Being looked down on" refers to
a state of being belittled by others.

It refers to a state where your own abilities are underestimated
and you are being humiliated.

It is true that
in order to clarify a master-servant relationship,
getting angry to show your position by saying, "You are below me" is sometimes necessary.

However, in many cases,
that is due to "your pride."

"I am great, amazing, and smart."

The more a person cares about the evaluation of others to protect that kind of pride,
the more they think, "I don't want to be looked down upon."

I keep my pride to a minimum
and instead offer respect to the other person.

"Thank you."
"That's amazing!"
"As expected!!"

By doing things like this,
I make it a point to empathize with the other person's actions and thoughts
and convey positive feelings.

Also, toward people who clearly
look down on me,
I think like this.

"Thank you for looking down on me!
Thanks to you, I can live at ease."

What do I mean by that, you ask...

"For those who look down on me,
please go ahead and look down on me."

When you think that way,
unnecessary "anger" does not arise,
and you can spend your time with a calm heart.

* * * * *

Getting angry is a type of human emotion.

If you are treated with disregard for your personal worth due to unreasonable situations, environments, or events, anyone would want to get angry.

However, relying on the emotion of anger more than necessary for anything else is something to reconsider.

When you look at a person who gets angry objectively, they inevitably look childish.

They look like a child, and there is no helping it.

It is a shame for a grown adult to raise their voice, spout abuse, and try to dominate someone who is intimidated...

Is that something an adult should do?

I am sure I am not the only one who thinks that.

To keep society running better, we should approach things with constructive thinking.

If that is the case, you should not easily resort to the emotion of anger.

The wiser a person is, the less they choose to get angry, and instead they convince others using other methods.

They skillfully guide others so that they are happy to take action.

That is precisely why they are trusted, and why people are more likely to listen to what they have to say.

In order to build high-quality human relationships...

Although this is a personal example, I hope you will find it useful as a form of anger management.

A brief supplementary note: the act of getting angry at a child is not 'getting angry,' but 'scolding'.

Please note that this is by no means
the same as the meaning discussed in this article,
so please do not
make any mistakes.

Well then, until next time.
Goodbye.