How to Navigate Anger and Sadness
When you remember something painful,
you might feel sad,
or for some reason, you might feel irritated.
"Why did they do that to me back then?"
"Why did things turn out that way?"
Even though time has passed,
when you remember,
when you step back into that scene, a reaction still remains somewhere.
In a sudden moment, anger can emerge.
■ Anger and sadness are not separate
This is a bit hard to understand, but it is important.
Behind anger, there is sadness.
・I wanted to be cherished
・I wanted to be understood
・I was hurt
But because it is painful to feel that directly,
it manifests as anger.
Anger is easier to act upon.
■ Trying to process only one will cause you to get stuck
This is a common occurrence.
Trying to feel only the sadness,
Trying to suppress your anger.
But if you do this,
it stops halfway.
If you ignore your anger,
・Irritation remains
・You get stuck on the same things
If you ignore your sadness,
・You feel empty
・You suddenly feel down
Both are properly connected.
■ A story from when I had been dragging anger around for years
Anger and sadness,
were tangled up in a mess,
becoming like a single lump.
Every time I remembered it, I would get irritated,
but without knowing what was actually painful,
I went around in circles in the same place for years.
Before I knew it,
I kept spending my time on anger.
Even though it was over,
it wasn't over in my head,
I kept trying over and over again.
But,
as I looked at it little by little, I realized.
I wasn't angry,
I was just sad.
What had been a solid lump,
felt like it was slowly unraveling.
■ The way to process it is simple
What you have to do is not difficult.
The order is as follows.
1. Notice the anger
Oh, I am feeling angry right now.
2. Look beneath it
What was it that I really disliked?
3. Acknowledge what comes up just as it is
I was sad.
That is all you need to do.
■ You do not have to force yourself to clean it up
Anger is often thought of as
something you should not have, but
These are emotions that are perfectly normal to express.
In fact,
if you keep them bottled up, they will remain.
Therefore,
you don't have to try to be a good person.
The feeling of being angry is also fine just as it is.
After that,
what was it that got hurt?
Once you can see that,
little by little, you become quiet.
■ What happens after you move through it
When you move through it properly,
you no longer feel shaken when you remember it.
It is not that you forget.
However,
it no longer gets you stuck.
Even though it is the same event,
your body stops reacting.
You stop repeating it in your head.
This is the change.
■ Finally
Neither anger nor sadness
will end with just one or the other.
They are things you go through as a set.
You do not need to force either of them away.
Both are important emotions.
However,
Notice them, and acknowledge them.
Anger, and sadness too,
simply accept them as things that were there.
With just that,
little by little,
they will come to an end.
That is,
A state of having processed them properly.
#AngerAndSadness
#EmotionalProcessing
#MentalClarity
#PainfulFeelings
#HowToProcessSadness
#SelfUnderstanding
#VerbalizingEmotions
#Discomfort
#KnowingYourself
#Relationships