I Wanted to Be a Lion Standing in the Wind

Jealousy. It is a very troublesome emotion. However, jealousy is exactly what we "want."
The person I, at fifteen, was more jealous of than anyone or anything else was the protagonist of the song "Lion Standing in the Wind."
I still cannot forget the shock I felt when I first heard this song.

It was during a moral education class. The student on duty brought a cassette deck to the teacher's desk. Meanwhile, the teacher handed out papers with the song's lyrics.
As I braced myself for what we were about to do, the teacher suddenly started playing the cassette tape without any particular explanation. It was a song by Masashi Sada.

The protagonist of this song is a young doctor. His letter serves as the lyrics.
To pursue his dream, he left his lover in Japan and traveled to Africa. Several years later, he receives a letter from her after a long time. It was news of her marriage.
Upon reading the letter, the protagonist speaks of his long-held feelings for her and Japan, his current life in Africa, and his way of living.
The finale is a masterpiece, Amazing Grace.

My classmates raised their hands to share their thoughts and opinions on the song. What kind of relationship did the protagonist and his lover have? What did they think of their feelings and way of life? How did they feel about the land of Africa versus the current state of Japan? Many people praised the protagonist's way of life. Though one girl did say he was selfish.

As I listened to everyone's impressions, I felt very uncomfortable. I felt a sense of disgust toward the protagonist.

What is this lyric? Narcissistic jerk. He just wants to look cool to her, doesn't he? Or even more, doesn't he want to make her regret not choosing him? He's so hung up on the past. What a pathetic guy.
My classmates who praise such a protagonist don't understand anything either. They only look at the superficial parts of the words and don't even try to understand the protagonist's feelings. It's truly exhausting to watch everyone line up words that sound like model answers.
In the first place, the teacher who thought of using this song for moral education is also strange. What are we supposed to learn from these lyrics? It's not in the curriculum, so don't bring your favorite songs into class and push your personal values on us.

My heart was unsettled and violently turbulent. But I also felt that it was an embarrassing emotion that I had to suppress. It was very painful that I couldn't share it with anyone.

Finally, the teacher handed out sheets, and we had to write our thoughts on the class. Imagining the words my classmates would write made my chest feel even more restless. I didn't know what to write, but I knew for sure that I absolutely did not want to write anything that affirmed the protagonist.

"As long as we are living this life, we are all lions standing in the wind."

As a result, I remember writing something like that, acting all high and mighty.
It was a lie. A bluff. I couldn't have actually been thinking that.

I had a dream.
I was thinking of leaving this place and going to Tokyo to pursue my dream.
I could sacrifice my own happiness for the sake of my dream. I truly believed that.
That is precisely why the protagonist's way of life in this song was my ideal.
I was jealous of his ability to pursue his dream even at the cost of something precious.

People's dreams and values change. It is not only things that remain unchanged that are noble. Growth, changes in environment, life stages, and various other factors are always intertwined. It is natural to change. Therefore, it is a bit nonsensical to apply what I once held as an ideal to my current self.
But I dare to ask my fifteen-year-old self from my current self.

Have you become the lion standing in the wind that you admired back then?

Does the lion standing in the wind still live in your heart?

Teacher, thank you for teaching me such a wonderful song.


This article was part of a baton relay project passed on to me by Maiton-san.
I had never done anything like writing for a project before, so this was my first challenge. Thank you for giving me the opportunity.

And I have decided to pass this baton to Yu-san.
I have been associated with Yu-san on note for about a year now. They are someone I am very indebted to, having even provided photos for my publication.
Their photos, writing, and personality (and even their singing voice!) are all very charming.

These are the rules for the baton relay.

Lastly, I would be happy if you could also read the articles by Maiton-san, Yu-san, and the people who thought of this project, Chainner-san and Mieharu-san.
Thank you for the fun project.