Creators should trust what they 'cannot stop doing' more than what they are 'good at.' A creative essay by a double-sided erotic novelist

Hello everyone. This is Mitsumugi Nae.
Today, I want to talk about consistency.

"What are you good at?"

It sounds like an interview question, doesn't it? (laughs)
Actually, I'm not very good at answering this question.

"What am I good at... hmm."

When asked that, I surprisingly can't come up with an answer.

But, I suddenly realized something.

I didn't continue writing because I was good at it.
Even when I thought about quitting, I couldn't stop.
That is why I am still writing like this today.

Being good at something is surprisingly unreliable

Even thinking about it again, there isn't much I can proudly say, "I am good at this."
If I had to force an answer, maybe it's sticking to things?
But that isn't a special talent either.

I'm not particularly dexterous with my hands,
and I'm not particularly good at crafting things.
I'm a fast touch-typist, but
that's just the result of hitting the keyboard for many years.

Moreover, in creative work, you rewrite things many times.
Being fast at typing
doesn't necessarily become a weapon.

You get work because you're good at it.
It's not that simple.

And in any field, there is always someone better.
Writing is the same.
There are countless people better than me.

There are people who debuted after me
who have already had many works published as books.
So, the mindset of "I can continue because I'm good at it"
will eventually become painful.

I cannot stop "thinking"

Then, what is my weapon?

I cannot stop thinking.

I think while walking.
I think while drinking coffee.
I think before I go to sleep.
Even when I'm angry, I think about the structure of sentences.

"Why did this person think that?"
"Why does this sense of discomfort remain?"
"Is there a better way to convey this?"

My head moves on its own.
It's not so much that I like it.
I just can't stop it.

Of course, there are times when I get tired from thinking too much.
There are days when I go around in circles worrying.
But even so, I still end up thinking.

I think this is more of a nature than a talent.

Perhaps only when I was in an accident?
That was the only time my mind truly went blank.

Other than that, I am always thinking.

I wasn't a "writer" from the beginning

Actually, in the past, I also tried my hand at video.

YouTube.

"From now on, it's all about video."

It was that kind of era (laughs).
So, I stood in front of the camera and talked.
I played instruments. I tried various things.

The result... a spectacular failure (laughs).

Even after continuing for years, I didn't grow much.
My final subscriber count was around five thousand.
I experienced being flamed,
and a large number of my videos were deleted due to algorithm changes.

"This is terrible..."

At the time, I was genuinely depressed.

But looking back now, I understand the reason.
It wasn't for me.
Video requires the ability to react on the spot,
and it demands improvisation and a sense of live performance.

But I was different.

Think.
Think.
Think it through.

Only then do the words come.

That was my nature.
So, the form of "writing"
suited my core better.

What you cannot stop doing cannot be compared with anyone else

Things you are good at are inevitably compared.

"That person is better."
"That person is faster."
"That person is more popular."

That's how you get compared.

But, "I cannot stop thinking."


This cannot be compared, right?
Even if you say, "That person thinks more than me,"
there is no standard to measure that.
No one knows who is thinking the most.

That doesn't become a competition with others.
Because it's a matter only within yourself.
That is why you can continue for a long time.
I couldn't stop "thinking."

That is why I keep writing.

Creators tend to think of their own biases as flaws

"I'm thinking about the same thing again."
"I'm writing about the same theme again."

I think so too.

"Am I being persistent?"

But even so, I end up writing it.
Because that is my core.

Even if I am tired of it,
the reader might be reading it for the first time.
For someone who read my article for the first time today,
it is not "again." They might find it fresh.

So, I stopped worrying about it so much.
The things I think about over and over.
The themes I return to again and again.
There is a bias unique to me there.
And that bias is exactly what
makes writing that only that person can write.

What you cannot stop doing rather than what you are good at

So now, when I think about consistency,
I don't really think, "What am I good at?"
Instead, I think, "What can I not stop doing?"

Therein lies your nature.
There is an obsession that no one can imitate.

Things you are good at might be overtaken by someone someday.
But. No one can take away what you cannot stop doing.
I have come this far by trusting that nature.
So, if there is anyone out there who thinks they have no weapon,
please think about it just once.

What can you not stop doing?

Things you return to again and again.
Things you think about even after many years.
Things you find yourself facing again before you know it.

Perhaps that is exactly
the weapon that only you have.

How do you turn that "thing you cannot stop doing" into a creative weapon?
After doing it for many years, I finally learned how.
That is why I am putting those things into memberships and paid articles.
Because for someone who doesn't know that, it might be necessary information.

And I intend to keep writing about that way of thinking and building things
from here on out.

Are you continuing that because you are good at it?

Or.

Are you continuing it because even if you try to stop, you cannot?

Double-sided Erotic Novelist Mitsumugi Nae

My membership is here