The Person Who Is My Husband -Continued: Destructive Impulses in the Guise of Love-

My husband read my article again.
Is he a fan of mine? Haha.

The article in question

My husband's thoughts

He gave me his feedback: "I read it with interest, wondering how you come up with these ways of thinking. It was interesting as a piece of writing."

For some reason, he complimented my writing. Yay.

When I asked him if he felt uneasy or put off, he said,

"I have a simple curiosity about who the other person is, but I don't feel uneasy."

"I just thought, 'So this is how Mitsumame thinks.'"

"Don't bully the other person too much, okay?"

I can feel his composure in every word he says.
I don't know how to put it well, but my husband is an amazing person.

"What 'gap moe' really means is..."

"I can understand that there are moments when you see someone being a bit scatterbrained and think it's cute. But I've never thought of that as a 'gap'."

(""Gap moe" really just means you aren't actually looking at that person, doesn't it?")

As he reeled off these wise words (?), I was struck by them and felt a bit moved.

It's true that my husband observes people well, and he's the type of person who accepts things as they are before thinking about them.
If you asked me if he has a hidden side, I'd have to think about it, but at the very least, he has less of a hidden side than I do, and the world he sees is flat.

In my 20s, love was painful.
I didn't know why I was so twisted, and I didn't know what to do.

He is a resident of that flat world who simply jumped over those hurdles.
I felt once again that this is the part of my husband that saved me.

Perhaps I had been screaming in a voice that couldn't be heard, 'I want you to see the real me,' 'I want you to accept the real me.'
Even now, what the 'real me' is remains quite ambiguous.

A dead ball from a vanishing pitch

We started talking about why I accepted my husband's feelings so easily, and another piece of wisdom appeared.

"Maybe it was good that you weren't on guard against me?It was like being hit by a dead ball from behind by a vanishing pitch."

Setting aside whether the analogy is good or not.
I hadn't noticed my husband's affection at all until he confessed.
It was so different from my previous patterns and he was so nonchalant that my radar (?) apparently couldn't detect it.

Moreover, he didn't do it on purpose; it was completely natural.
When it comes to love, he is a pure and upright person who doesn't even have the concept of playing games.

My husband is a terrifying man...!

The person who is my husband

Actually, we recently celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary.
I still don't really understand what it is about me that my husband likes.
But at least I know he enjoys being with me.
I also enjoy being with my husband, and it puts my mind at ease.

The person who is my husband is a resident of the flat world who hasn't changed even after 10 years.
Attracted to his world, and as if being led by the hand by him, I was gradually freed from my suffering.

The lid on my memories suddenly opened during this recent commotion (?), but I'm okay now.
I feel like I can let go of the dark feelings that were born, not by suppressing them, but naturally.

It seems I have been saved by him once again.

Bonus anecdote
Neither of us realized this year was a memorial year, and it came up by chance the other day.

"A chance to eat something good," (Husband)

"I want to go to a remote island in Okinawa. I want to go to Hateruma Island or Kume Island again. Or Yakushima would be fine, even if it's not Okinawa." (Me)

"Rather than that, don't you want to stay at an amazing hotel nearby for the same budget as going to Okinawa?" (Husband)

"That sounds good too. I'm also interested in sleeper trains. 'Train Suite Shiki-shima' would be nice... wait, that's too expensive!!" (Me)

And so, we had quite a lively discussion.
(People who aren't really interested in anniversaries... lol)

In this day and age, dining out or traveling seems quite difficult, but I will think of some way to celebrate that is true to the two of us.

*****
An article I wrote about my husband(Probably about 80% gushing)
This is an article I wrote for Keiko-san's project.

My love life in my younger days(With a hint of ruin)
Does everyone like love stories...?