When did you first hear the word “Pre-Dad”?—A talk about paternity leave for those of you who are “getting ready”

When did you first hear the word “Pre-Dad”?

Around the time you started looking into childbirth and childcare,
it suddenly appeared before you—I’m sure that’s the case for many people.

For me personally, having lived for over 30 years,
it was a word I encountered so abruptly that I wondered, “Where has this been all my life?”

Perhaps many other men, just like me,
encountered it around the time childbirth started to become a reality.

It is precisely when you start seeing the word “Pre-Dad”
in your daily life
that I want you to start thinking about “paternity leave.”

“I probably can’t take it.”

“If I can take it, I will.”

“Maybe about two weeks, so I don’t cause trouble at work...”

“I haven’t thought about it yet...”

“I don’t think I need time off.”

For those people,
I have summarized the value I actually felt during my paternity leave,
especially regarding the first three months after birth.

If you are struggling with whether or not you should take paternity leave,
please read this.

The purpose of this note is
“for those who are unsure about taking paternity leave to start ‘thinking’ about it first.”
Rather than presenting a single correct answer,
I aim to provide a starting point for dialogue.

Four values that became clear by spending the first three months after birth on paternity leave

In this article,
I will share the “four values” that became clear to me
while spending the first three months after birth on paternity leave.

▶ 01 | The experience of flipping the “father switch”
▶ 02 | Time to notice “changes”
▶ 03 | A perspective that notices the preciousness of daily life
▶ 04 | Imagining what it would be like if I hadn’t taken it

Now, I will introduce them one by one.

01 | How to flip the father switch, understood by actually doing it

The start of paternity leave is all about firsts, and
if you aren’t careful, you might just become a “helper.”

But by trying to make everything—childcare and housework—your “own responsibility” at least once,
the realization that “I am also on this team as a father”
will grow.

✅ Not just dividing childcare, but “trying to do everything I could”

✅ The reality of the first month as a dad. 6 things I want to tell those who are about to become dads

02 | You won't notice the “changes” in everyday life unless you are there together

Suddenly, they might hate the baby bottle or refuse to be held.
Things that worked yesterday don't work today.
Even in those moments, you can realize the importance of the time spent
“facing the child right in front of you.”

This kind of “accumulation of trial and error” and responding to daily changes
is not something you can easily see in just a week or two.


✅ They won't sleep when held... Lessons learned from the day my accumulated skills became useless

✅ Bottle refusal felt like being told, “There is a limit to what a father can do.”

✅ The thrill of “They pooped!” Moments of growth I discovered during parental leave

03 | Ordinary daily life becomes valuable when you change your perspective

Even in daily life where nothing happens,
if you change your perspective on the “atmosphere,” “small growth,” and “things taken for granted,”
they become of great value.

I was able to notice changes like, “Oh, this voice is louder than yesterday,” or
“It’s not a given that their nails are trimmed to the right length.”

✅ A story about how the “sounds” in the house changed after childcare began

✅ A premonition of “one more time”? A small interaction with my 3-month-old daughter enjoying her voice

✅ It’s not just about the length, a story about nails

04 | Imagining a timeline where I didn't take parental leave...

“If I had gone to work, I wouldn't have been there for this moment.”
There were many times I thought that.

I believe parental leave was not “time to relax,” but
“time to gain a father's perspective.”

✅ [Fictional] A timeline where I didn't take parental leave [Diary]

Extra edition: I wasn't the type to take photos, but now I take them every day

This is an extra edition, but it's quite important.
I am the type who doesn't take photos at all,
and looking back at the last two years, there were months with “zero photos taken.”

Even someone like that will take many photos and videos, so be sure to prepare for data capacity and storage issues early on.

✅ [Realized through data] The story of how I, a “non-photo-taking type,” ended up filling my phone’s storage with childcare photos

“What value does parental leave hold for you and your family?”

Parental leave is not just about “taking time off work,” but also an opportunity for you and your family to spend precious time together.

Of course, there are many factors to consider, such as money, your career, and your workplace.

That is why I do not believe that taking parental leave is the only correct answer. I want you to think about it seriously, compare the “value of taking it” with the “value of not taking it,” and make a choice you can be satisfied with.

If you already plan to take it, please take another look at the duration and timing as well.

Starting to think about the value of parental leave is an important and significant step for your future and for your family.

By thinking it through carefully, you should be able to create a more fulfilling childcare experience and family time.

・Try talking to your partner
・Try consulting your supervisor
・Try reading the parental leave experiences of senior dads you are interested in

Please try starting with just one thing you feel you can do.

For those who are still hesitant about parental leave (Related articles)

“I want to take parental leave, but I’m worried about what my workplace will think.”

Such as those who want that “final push,” I wrote this article for you.
✅ [To you who want to take parental leave but are worried about “workplace perception.” 5 things you can do to gain understanding]

There are still actions you can take to help ease the “mental barriers” surrounding parental leave, even if just a little.

The value of parental leave is different for everyone. That is why I would be happy if this time helps you think about the “just-right choice” for yourself.
Thank you for reading this far.