Choosing Words with the Other Person in Mind - "A Course in 'Verbalization' to Turn Vague Feelings into Words" by Akiyoshi Hikita

Every month, I study to improve my writing skills and introduce the content here.
This month's theme is "verbalization."
When writing, I often find myself struggling because I just can't come up with the right words.
How can I come up with the appropriate words? With that in mind, I turned to the "Verbalization Course" written by a renowned speechwriter formerly of Hakuhodo.
Below, I have noted the key points regarding the "mindset for verbalization."

The Basics of Verbalization Skills - Strengthening the Foundation for Turning "Thoughts" into "Words"

• Information in the form of words has increased all around us, such as on the internet and in advertisements. However, while things have become more convenient, our ability to verbalize has regressed due to things like stamps and abbreviations.

• Verbalization skill is not just about being able to vent your emotions. It is about choosing words that suit the other person so that your "thoughts" are conveyed to them.

• Thoughts are never 100% conveyed. Abandon perfectionism andclarify "what is essential to convey."

• One factor in improving your ability to verbalize is increasing your vocabulary. There are the following techniques.

  • Write the names of things specifically and accurately. Demonstrative pronouns are a no-go

    • Ex)

      • Flower → Osmanthus

      • Drank miso soup → Drank seaweed and enoki mushroom miso soup

      • Casual clothes → Beige chinos and white sneakers. A slightly oversized hoodie from GU

  • Do not rely on convenient words that can express anything (like "yabai," "amazing," "that thing," etc.).

    • When you end up using them, add an explanation afterward and re-examine your emotions. Make it a habit to verbalize and concretize the reason by saying "Yabai! + because..."

  • When you read a book, immediately note down any vocabulary or phrases you like in Google Keep or similar apps. Then, try using them yourself to make them your own.

  • Try writing down the words that come to your mind in a notebook every day. First, write them down roughly in spoken language. Afterward, summon an imaginary conversation partner and have a dialogue. Dig deeper into your own thoughts.

  • For words you use often, write down "paraphrases" and "substitutions" in your notebook to expand your range of expression.

    • Ex) In the case of "like"

      • Paraphrase → I love you. You are my favorite. I'm fond of you. I have a weakness for it. Mutual love. Can't sleep.

      • Substitution → Speaking of "like," stuffed animals, my child, fan club, presents

The 'Verbalization Power' That Reaches the Other Person: It's Not About 'Talking,' It's About 'Being Heard'

• Words are meaningless if they aren't conveyed. By being conscious of the 'other person,' you can cultivate the ability to verbalize more accurately and vividly, ensuring your message gets across.

  • Imagine painting a vivid, colorful video on the screen inside the listener's mind.

    • Adjust the amount of information according to the other person's level of knowledge and interest. Start by getting to know them.

    • Think of your words as a gift for the other person.Only when you have a heightened desire to share something because it's a 'good story' does the consciousness to convey it accurately emerge. Look for things you can offer as a gift to the other person.

    • Instead of using abstract modifiers (like 'crazy,' 'amazing,' or 'busy'), convey things concretely. Providing numbers is one way to do this.

  • Construct your speech by imagining what the other person is thinking (their mental model).

    • Pick up the words the other person uses during the conversation and use them yourself; this makes it easier for them to understand.

    • Don't talk for too long. Break it up into segments of 15 seconds or less (3 to 5 phrases) (Is this okay so far?). Check in by interjecting with questions along the way.

    • Narrow your keywords down to three. Without setting a goal, you won't produce the right output.

Verbalization power is expressive power: Tips to make the other person lean in and want to listen

• Always place the listener at the center of the conversation.

  • To help the other person relate to the topic, start with everyday subjects they can empathize with.

  • Introduce opinions other than your own as the speaker. This increases credibility.

  • However, do not end with an ambiguous sentence; clearly state your own position.

  • Have a signature phrase that stirs the soul.

    • Example:

      • A leader is a dealer in hope.

      • Peace begins with a smile.

    • Develop your talk from concrete details to abstract concepts. Since signature phrases are highly abstract, they are perfect for a conclusion.

• An easy-to-listen-to speaking style

  • Start your speech on the musical note 'La'.

  • Inhale at periods (。). Pause slightly at commas (、).

  • To prevent fillers (like 'um' or 'uh'), keep your mouth closed when you start speaking.

    • Swallow your saliva before starting with phrases like 'Well then'.

• Refine words not for yourself, but for someone else. That is what verbalization ability is.

  • Be honest with yourself, and considerate of others.

  • Put the good qualities of others into words.

Summary

Although it was a relatively compact book, I felt it was packed with the foundations and basics necessary to improve one's 'verbalization ability'.
To summarize it in my own way, 'verbalization ability' is the power to think about the following things.

1. 'Verbalization ability' is the power to choose words that convey your intentions to the other person

2. To ensure your intentions are conveyed to the other person, you first need to clarify what you want to convey and have a heart that cares for them

3. To become skillful at choosing words, you need to do the steady, cumulative work of intentionally increasing your vocabulary usage

Without a goal, just thinking 'I want to improve my verbalization ability' won't lead to concrete output. I feel like I've been taught that verbalization ability is polished only when there is an earnest desire to 'convey this!'

Narrow down what you want to convey to the other person.
I decided to rethink my approach by starting with the first principle of writing, and work on improving my own verbalization ability.

It was an easy-to-read book, so if you are interested, please read it for yourself.

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Thank you for reading until the end!
These days, I feel that if you master writing techniques, they become a theory of communication, and if you master communication, it leads to ethics. Writing is a vessel for the path of truth.

I will continue to write articles once a week to broaden your world.
Past writing research series can be found here.
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