The Miracle Called Reality in Everyday Life

This is mirari.

Today, I had plans to go to an orientation for my second son's cram school, so I left work right on time and biked home in 10 minutes. From there, it was another 5 minutes to the school. After finishing the hour-and-a-half orientation, I returned home, heated up the curry I had made in advance, and served it over rice for dinner. I left the post-dinner cleanup to my husband, and in the brief moments between coffee time, a bath, listening to my children talk, and reading and replying to my eldest son's daily cram school report, I am writing this now before bed.

Until just a few years ago, I used to do whatever I wanted, saying I couldn't go on without time to myself, but looking back now, I think I was avoiding looking straight at myself and turning my eyes away from what I truly wanted to cherish.

Perhaps I thought somewhere deep down that because it was so precious, it was too heavy a burden to take on. That weight might have been called sacrifice.

If you take it on, you have to make sacrifices.
You can't take it on without making sacrifices.

Because I thought that way, I pretended not to see it and kept putting it off.

But you know, I think this.
The day will come when you can truly cherish what is truly precious. The day will come when you can resolve yourself to that. Once that happens, whether you have time for yourself or not, you have no choice but to do what you can and think of ways to make it work.

I think that's just fine.

If I start thinking about how I should have realized it sooner or done it sooner, there's no end to it, but when I think about that, I just get more and more gloomy.

Mothers are the sun, you see. Every mother is the energy source for her family. So, I reached the conclusion that a mother being in a good mood is the most important thing of all.

Therefore, I only need to think about how I can spend my time in a good mood. I have spent time doing whatever I wanted for that purpose, but as long as I am turning my eyes away from what is important, I cannot be 100% in a good mood. It's like I'm wearing a mask somewhere, or deceiving myself.

So now, even though the days fly by, every moment is fun and filled with gratitude, and I like the version of myself that looks down from a slightly higher perspective and thinks, 'Ah, how rich this is.'

It is fun and important to envision how you want to be or what you want to do more, but it is also very, very fun and important to realize how full of miracles the reality unfolding before your eyes right now is.

To taste that feeling with your whole body, to receive it, and to be filled by it. I find 'now,' where such moments exist within my daily life, to be very precious.