[Creative] Helios Episode 12

You must not get too close to the sun. No matter how much you admire it, no matter how much you yearn for it.

"This is the first time I've seen Yusei-kun so nervous."

Dressed in a kimono with his hair and makeup done by a professional, Yusei-kun looks more beautiful than ever. The August concert where Yusei-kun will make his MC debut is about to begin.

"Of course I am. In my normal life, I never have to speak in front of such a large crowd. Even at work, it's at most about 50 people."

It's amusing to see Yusei-kun so stiff.

"But more people watch you on YouTube."

"That's fine because I can't see their faces."

Seeing Yusei-kun pout is also rare, and I laughed out loud.

"It'll be okay. I'll go out first. If you forget your lines, I'll remember them for you. You'll be fine just being yourself, Yusei-kun. Come on, shall we go?"

With those words, we stepped into the light.

We are welcomed by the audience with loud applause. Yusei-kun, who was stiff at first, soon returned to his usual self through our banter. The audience laughs at our conversation.

The performance by the hand-picked students, who have the ability to perform on stage, is moving. Koki-san is in the center seat of the third row.

How can I ever thank anyone for this happiness?

This time, I had Yusei-kun join in a duet with other direct disciples. The ensemble of two 17-string koto and five koto was a masterpiece, and it was well-received even by those who had never heard the koto before.

I taught each and every one of them myself.

Yusei and Subaru have been my students since I was still called a minor. Kanno and Nogi were entrusted to me by the head of the school, and they protected me all this time when I was too young and viewed with harsh eyes by those around me. Kana and Misaki are the survivors of a group of five girls who came to learn. Nakagawa is the newest.

That technique, that expression—I taught them all. All an instructor can do is teach; I haven't made any great contribution. Mastering it is up to the individual's own effort, but being able to listen to the performances of students who have become skilled is the ultimate joy.

The first part ends with my solo, and from the second part, the mature performances of the head of the school and their students continue. Since it's summer, I chose "Sunlight" for my piece.

I always think that I want to spread the koto to as many people as possible. But just for today. For this piece alone, I will play for only one person. The center seat in the third row. As it happens, the song is perfect, too.

This might be my own selfishness. But because there are many exchanges with Yusei in this performance, I might feel anxious. Since I'm not good at conveying things well with words, I want to use this stage to tell you. Only you. My Helios, dazzling and intense like the sun.

When the song ended and I received applause, just before I bowed, I looked toward the center of the audience and met eyes with a gaze so gentle it felt like I would melt. I touched my obi ornament softly before performing a true bow. As the applause continued, the curtain fell.

I want to hear the koto played by Koki.

When the concert was over and the heat had begun to subside, I asked Koki, who had come to my house. Koki was hesitant, saying, "I'm not that good," but when I begged him, he agreed. When I lent him my koto and a student's koto picks, he began to tune it. The fact that he could tune it with such practiced hands meant he was no amateur.

Amazing.

As soon as Koki started playing, I got goosebumps. That wasn't all. I was so overwhelmed I felt like I was going to sob. Within the wild, luminous performance, there was a sensuality that made me dizzy. A modern sound that transcended tradition. My whole body was stirred, my blood felt like it was boiling, and I couldn't hold it back.

Technically, it's not that amazing. It doesn't even come close to me or Yusei. But this level of expressiveness is what draws me in and won't let me go.

Unfair, unfair, unfair.

He has good looks, a strong presence, and even with the violin as his specialty, he has this level of performance ability. It's not something as mild as admiration or envy.

This intense, incomprehensible emotion is jealousy. A burning, scorching passion. The world feels like it's shaking and I'm getting dizzy from these two mixed-up emotions.

I will surely be destroyed by these feelings. The scorched marks left in an instant will surely hiss and pop for a long time, and they will never disappear.

Nagi, are you crying?

"I'm sorry, I'm just so moved."

I don't want to let go of this person's hand. Even though I am so jealous of their talent, and even though it burns and causes intense pain, it is still so precious to me. No matter what happens, I don't want them to go far away.

From that day on, I became unable to play the koto.

(Part 1 End)

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