I just want to live a normal life, so why is it so painful?

1. "Living normally" is surprisingly difficult

I've always thought this.
"I don't want to be special.
I just want to live a normal life."

Wake up in the morning,
go to work,
interact with people,
laugh, and sleep.

Why is it that,
something as simple as that is so difficult?

2. The day my "normal" collapsed

After I quit my job, the first thing I felt was "silence."
No company emails or phone calls.
Even though I had plenty of time,
my heart had nowhere to go.

Even when light shone through the gap in the curtains,
it didn't look like hope.

Even when I tried to tell myself, "This is freedom,"
I was lost within that freedom.

3. Whose "normal" is it anyway?

One day, while walking through town, I thought,
everyone is living their own version of "normal."

People working in cafes,
a mother holding her child's hand,
a salaryman reading at a convenience store.

Every "normal" is,
a part of that person's way of life.

Then, what about my "normal"?
When I thought about that, I couldn't find an answer.

4. Even when people say, "You don't have to be like everyone else"

Social media is overflowing with phrases like "live your own life."
But when you see those words while your heart is weak,
it actually makes you feel more painful.

"I don't even know what being myself means anymore."
I just want someone to tell me, "It's okay to just be normal."

Even though I know in my head that I don't have to compare myself to others,
my heart is always looking for someone else's pace.

5. Trying to believe in "my own normal" just a little bit

Recently, I've started to think little by little.
"Normal" isn't something that can be decided by someone else.

A "normal" made to fit others,
will eventually destroy you.

The days I can wake up in the morning.
The days I can eat a proper meal.
The days I can go outside and feel the breeze.

Each of those things is my "normal."
If I keep stacking them up,
that will become my own pace.

6. There is no need to rush. There are as many "rhythms of life" as there are people.

What I realized after my heart broke was
that there is no "correct speed" for recovery.

What others can do in a week,
I might take a month to do.
But that is okay.

What is important is not "continuing,"
but "not giving up."

Even if you walk slowly,
even if you stop along the way,
as long as you are still moving forward,
that is enough.

💬 Summary

The phrase "I want to live a normal life"
is actually a very gentle wish.

It is not about wanting to surpass anyone,
nor is it about wanting to be special.

"I want to live without breaking myself."
I think that is the true wish.

So don't rush,
just build your "normal" at your own pace.