No Matter How Many Posts I Schedule, the Anxiety Won't Go Away | Behind the Scenes of Daily Posting ②

Yesterday, I talked about scheduled posts.

Even though I say I post daily, I don't actually write them every single day. I schedule them on days when I can write.

This time, I'm digging deeper into the psychology behind that. When I look at my list of note articles, I see a row of scheduled posts.

There's one for tomorrow.
There's one for the day after.
There are even ones for further ahead.

Logically speaking, I should be able to relax.

I don't have to write today.
It's okay if I can't write tomorrow.
Even if I miss a few days, the posts won't stop.

And yet, strangely, the anxiety doesn't disappear. No matter how many I schedule, it feels like it's still not enough.

“I need to write further ahead.”
“What if I run out of stock?”
“In the end, won't I just be backed into a corner again?”

Why doesn't the anxiety go away? It's probably not because I don't have enough scheduled posts.

I don't trust my future self

Will my future self be able to write tomorrow?
Will my future self be able to keep going next week?

When I get busy, when I'm tired, when I lose my motivation—will I still be able to post?

I don't trust myself to do that.

So, I increase the number of scheduled posts.
I fill up even further ahead.
Even then, I still feel anxious.
I suppose even if I scheduled a lifetime's worth of posts, the anxiety wouldn't disappear.

So, what can I do to trust my future self?

It can be short.
It can be rough.
It can be a diary entry.
If I can post it, that's a pass.

I'll decide on that.

Then, a different kind of anxiety emerges.

The question: Is this article interesting?

This anxiety won't disappear no matter how many scheduled posts I pile up.

Even though I already have articles ready, I try to write better ones. Even though my schedule is full, I want to swap them out.

This is practically a sickness.

Is there really a need to go that far?
Honestly, no.

If a note post stops for a day, life doesn't end. Even if the article is rough, the world won't change.

Even so, I feel anxious.
Even so, I schedule posts.
Even so, I try to write something better.

Even if I schedule and schedule, the anxiety never fades.
It's almost a sickness.
That's why it's interesting.

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