When you're wondering what to do next...

When you are lost in life,
do you see it as a crisis or an opportunity?

I want to be the latter.

Which one are you?

*

Hello!
I'm mingo, a life support counselor.

I don't know what to do from here.
I'm anxious because I can't see the future.
I don't know what I want to do.

This time, I have answered a concern posted to that Kokoro Marche.

🔸This time's concern is here↓

Carryonne-san
Hello!

I am life support counselor mingo.

It's wonderful that you are 35 years old and can choose how you want to live your life from now on!!
Since you have the chance, let's think about it while getting excited♪

Having said that, since you've become unsure of what to do,
I've taken the liberty of thinking about it!

> I am aware that I have been a good girl, watching my parents' faces. I assumed I would follow a life similar to my parents', but since the choices I've made in the end are completely different, I think I might be troubled because I can't draw an ideal for myself.

This made me think that you probably don't want to walk the same life as your parents.

I think you must have had things you really wanted to do, but you are unconsciously forbidding yourself from doing them.

Because your parents would oppose it,
or because it goes against their expectations,
or because you think you can't do it,
you make up various reasons.
You might not be aware of this either...

Before you knew it, you developed that habit,
and in your student days, you followed the flow of those around you to advance your education,
and then found employment.

This means that you probably have a thick and solid 'other-centered' perspective firmly rooted in you, don't you??
And, when you spend many years like that, you end up spending your time without really knowing yourself, and then one day, you suddenly realize it!
(←You are here now)

For Carryonne-san, I recommend strengthening your 'self-centered' perspective!

Instead of just going with the flow as you have until now, please try acting while being conscious that you are choosing various things and events yourself.

For example, when you are buying something,
make decisions like, "I'll choose this one"
because "I like it" or "I thought it looked delicious."
Decide to go with this one!

In this way, make "I" the subject.
Whenever you decide on something,
dare to ask yourself,
"What do I want to do?"
by including "I" as the subject.

If you become conscious of this in your daily life,
I think your own preferences will gradually
become clearer.

Like what you like, or when you feel happy,
fun, or comfortable.

By focusing on your own emotions in this way,
you will be able to see what you want to do.

＊

> I've been advised to look for a role model, but I can't really figure that out either, and I feel like I'm at a dead end, not knowing what to do.

…I see.
Even if you try to find a role model, if you don't
understand yourself, there's no way to find one...
So, before looking for a role model, let's get to know yourself well!!

Besides the method of making "I" the subject
when making choices mentioned earlier,
it's also good to write down things you like and dislike
in a notebook.

What do I like?
What do I dislike?
If you think about it, I don't think much will come to mind, so
for now, let's just sort the words you see
into one or the other.

Even then, you might find yourself thinking,
"I don't know which one this is!"

In that case, just write the word down
and sort it based on how it makes you feel,
or try sorting it intuitively without thinking too deeply.

It's also recommended to remember things you liked as a child ^ ^
What was your dream when you were a child?

What job did you want to have?
Who did you admire?
In your innocent childhood,

without thinking about whether you could do it or not,
you must have made choices based simply on "I like it," "It's fun!"
or "It's cute!!"
So, your pure "likes" will become visible.

Once you see your pure "likes" that aren't hindered by your thoughts,
you might find what you want to try doing from now on
by relying on them.
If it's difficult to remember, it's also okay to choose

what you like intuitively from two or three options.
Red or blue? Red!
Meat or fish? Meat!!

For men, muscular or slim? Muscular!!
Something like that (^^)

I've made various suggestions, but if you do this while feeling
muddled and distressed, it will become painful,
so first, please acknowledge and accept yourself
as you are, feeling muddled, and your current situation of being at a dead end.
Then, give yourself permission that "it's okay if you don't find it right away,"
and try practicing methods that you can enjoy like a game.

Even then, if it doesn't go well, or if you think it's difficult to do alone,
please try receiving counseling.

In counseling, you can focus on and heal
emotions that were suppressed during your childhood
when you had to be a good child, and
it's recommended because you can often gain insights just by talking.

Instead of viewing your current worries as a problem,
if you accept them as a "challenge," it might become easier to work on them.




A "challenge" for your life to move to the next stage is an opportunity (^^)

May your future life be fun and shining, Carryonne-san!

If you feel like "counseling all of a sudden is a bit...💦"
there is also an event like this that is perfect for you‼️(^^)

Application deadline
Payment must be made by 3:00 PM on Friday, 3/29

so if you are interested,
please apply as soon as possible✨

Thank you for your consultation.
mingo

🔹Please inquire about March counseling requests
from below.
    First session: 60 minutes ¥5,000-

※Recruitment for April counseling
is scheduled to start at the end of March.