[The Reality of Parenting] Comparing your child to others is nonsense! The "big growth since yesterday" my daughter taught me.

Recently, we had a major event in our household: my wife's birthday.

Since it was a special day for celebration, the three of us went to a famous and stylish restaurant nearby that we had reserved in advance.

Both my wife and I were completely satisfied with the many delicious dishes!

The honest thought, 'Ah, I really wanted to drink some delicious alcohol with the meat...!' crossed my mind, but today we were using a car-sharing service for a family drive. I suppressed that urge and fulfilled my duty as the designated driver. It was my precious wife's special day, so safety comes first.

After finishing that very satisfying lunch, we moved to a nearby shopping mall.

My wife, who works hard every day with housework and childcare, left the babysitting at the kids' space to me, and I headed to the kids' space in the mall with my daughter.

The events that unfolded here would bring a small 'storm' to my heart, and an even greater 'warm realization'.

Contact between babies that began in a quiet space

Fortunately, the kids' space at that time was not crowded; it was a quiet state with only a few parents and children present.

Thinking, 'Alright, let's let her move around freely while it's like this,' I let my daughter loose on the mat and let her crawl freely. Then, perhaps noticing the presence of my daughter moving along, a baby friend who was some distance away began to stare at her.

My daughter stopped moving on the spot, and the friend over there crawled toward us.

They both seemed very curious about each other.

As for me, since I'm not the type to be very social or good with strangers, I was nervous inside, thinking, 'I hope she doesn't do anything weird to the other child...' while simultaneously wondering, 'What kind of conversation should I have with the other parents...?'

I gathered my courage and tried the classic parenting icebreaker, 'How many months old is your baby?', and I couldn't hide my surprise at the answer I received.

'She is 7 months old now.'

To my surprise, the friend was 4 months younger than my daughter (11 months old). Yet, that child was crawling with powerful, headlong momentum, skillfully standing up using the wall, and even managed to easily climb over 'that step' that divided the kids' space.

'Wait, can a 7-month-old really do all this...!?'

The human mind is a strange thing; even though I know full well that 'there is no point in comparing,' my brain automatically started pulling up past memories and comparing, thinking, 'Well, what was my daughter like when she was 7 months old...?'

Furthermore, after that, another friend arrived.

That child was born one month after my daughter (10 months old), but they were already standing firmly on their own two feet and walking unsteadily toward a nearby wall.

On the other hand, my daughter, who is in charge of healing in our home, is 11 months old. There is still no sign of her standing.

While I felt overwhelmed thinking, 'That's amazing...', I also felt a slight stir deep in my chest.

Comparing yourself to others is nonsense. What matters is the 'great growth since yesterday'.

After my wife finished shopping and joined me, I quietly sorted out the stirrings in my heart while watching our daughter in the car on the way home and at home.

'After all, comparing yourself to others is nonsense.'

Children have an astonishing range of individual differences in when they start walking, standing, and speaking. Doing things early doesn't make them superior, and doing things slowly doesn't mean they are behind.

What is important is not comparing her to other children, but looking at 'what my daughter herself has become able to do since yesterday, since last week'.

The moment I thought that, a 'certain cute gesture' that my daughter has been showing me since last week came to mind.

Now, when it's mealtime, my daughter has become able to put her little hands together in front of her chest in a 'prayer for itadakimasu'.

Of course, I don't think she understands the deep meaning of that action yet. But she understands in her own way that 'when I do this, my favorite meal starts!', and she is trying her best to imitate and put her hands together.

Conclusion

It's fine if other children walk at 10 months. My daughter has the best 'hand-clapping' she learned at 11 months. Just by seeing that adorable figure, my heart as a dad is always full, filled with enough happiness to get change back.

It might be a little longer before she can stand. But there is no need to be impatient at all.

From now on, I want to continue to watch over my child's own pace, closer than anyone else, together with my wife, slowly and warmly.

My dear daughter, thank you for your cute 'itadakimasu' today too. Just with that, I feel like I can do my best from tomorrow onwards!