[Happy Writing Marathon #38] What was it that I, an introvert who gave up on interacting with people, really wanted to attract?

Hello.
I am Haruka Minaka, a housewife who practiced the law of attraction and
turned her life around in her 40s.

I am excited to participate in Ken Honda's Happy Writing Marathon again this week!

This week's topic is "What is something you had given up on, but actually wanted to attract for a long time?"

The thing I had given up on, but actually wanted to attract for a long time, is

interacting with people.

Thinking about this topic, I realized that even though I had given up on it, I had actually attracted it.

I have experience visiting a psychosomatic clinic in my 20s and 30s.

Well, it was what you would call a mental illness.

It was so difficult back then that the specific memories have faded, but

I remember that in my 30s, it was just painful to meet people.

I couldn't go to work, morning would come without me having slept, and I couldn't get out of bed...

The people at my workplace were understanding and very kind.

But I would blame myself for not being able to live up to that kindness, so there was nothing I could do.

I wanted to disappear if I could, but I couldn't.

I was living alone at the time, my father had already passed away, and I had lost contact with my mother.

I thought I had no choice but to
endure the darkness


without interacting with anyone until the day my eyes would no longer open.

It has been over a decade since then.

It was so painful, and I had given up on connecting with people.
How on earth did things turn out this way,

that I am so happy now?

I am truly grateful for it.

In a home with my husband, daughter, and son,
we laugh, get angry, cry, and rejoice.

For some reason, my daughter, who was
incredibly difficult to raise until she was about kindergarten age,

forced me, in a way, to create
a circle of parenting friends to support and help each other.

Thanks to child-rearing that I couldn't handle alone,
I learned to rely on the people around me.

Even so, as an introvert who was aware thattoo much stimulation
would cause me stress,I was careful

to keep my human relationships from expanding
as much as possible.

And yet, recently,
my interactions with people have been increasing more and more.

That's right.It's note.

I receive happy comments on my articles and reply with gratitude,
or I am moved by the articles of noters I like,

and try to put those feelings into words.
Perhaps because I've always been a book nerd,

words in written form
don't seem to cause me stress as stimulation.

I have attracted a way of connecting with people
that is comfortable and sustainable for me!

Deep down, I really wanted to connect with people all along.

Somehow, is this what they call manifestation!?

I feel like it might be
a stage of life lessons that was granted to me precisely because I gave up.

But, I'm the one who attracted it, aren't I...
Going in circles, haha.

Ken Honda, thank you for another wonderful prompt this time!

I will also enjoy reading about
the things that other Happy Writing Marathon participants truly wanted to attract from long ago
.

Thank you for reading until the end.

Thank you also for the likes, follows, and comments. They are very encouraging!