It's exhausting to always be looking up

Sunday morning. I woke up at 9:00 AM, so I thought I'd try to go back to sleep, but I ended up having a terrible nightmare and woke up at 1:00 PM.

I feel like I've lost out a bit. Sleep isn't just about getting the right amount of time; if it's not filled with a sense of euphoria, it just feels unpleasant.

Setting that aside, it seems people around me think I look "busy," and I was told as much over the phone again today.

The person on the other end was someone younger I used to interact with on a blog back when I was in high school; they've quit their job as a childcare worker and want to start living by doing what they love.

We had scheduled a time to talk, but they said, "You seem so busy," and I thought, 'Hmm, I'm actually incredibly free!' while we chatted.

I can't say anything profound, but there was only one thing I told them.

If there's something you want to do, try challenging yourself in a situation where you don't have to worry about money.

The hard part about making what you love your job is that you start to feel like you have to earn money from it.

That's why my theory is that you should make your main job something that doesn't cause you distress so you don't have to earn money from your passion, and then do what you love as a side hustle.

I also told them not to get swallowed up by all the information out there.

With so much information intersecting, if you only keep your eyes fixed on those above you, your self-esteem will only continue to drop.

It's obvious, but there will always be someone above you, and when you compare yourself to them, you'll always feel like you're at the bottom.

At times like that, I decide to take the plunge and stop looking at social media, and escape into anime or novels. Then, I start to realize that there are ways to live comfortably in this world other than just climbing to the top.

Yes, clawing your way to the top isn't the only form of justice.

It's perfectly fine to just slide sideways.

There are places where you don't have to compete with anyone. Sometimes, you need to step away from the front lines of business to realize things like that.

Right now, I prioritize not pushing myself above all else. I'm at the point where I wonder, what does it even mean to live while pushing yourself?

Your body should be your top priority to care for, and if you can take it easy, you should. So, if you don't have to fight, you might as well finish the match while lying down.

I'm sure she'll find a new job somewhere and aim to become a web designer. I hope that path isn't one full of thorns, but a place where she is truly and rightfully needed.

Really, there's no reason to suffer anywhere. You don't have to bloom where you're planted. If the soil is bad and hasn't been properly tilled, let's move and live in fertile soil.