My daughter is too cute, and it's a problem

My daughter, who will be four in a few days, still cannot speak.

Ah, oo, taa. She strings together formless words and giggles.

Though she cannot speak, she is skilled at gestures. When she is thirsty, she opens the refrigerator door, takes out the juice, and thumps it down in front of the sink.

Then, she stares intently at the juice. She glances at me, gauging my reaction. She wants me to pour the juice into a cup because she is thirsty.

"I'm thirsty."

Because she cannot say those words, she tries desperately to convey her thoughts through actions. My daughter is so admirable and incredibly cute.

My daughter is also incredibly cute when her dad comes home.

If I say, "Daddy is coming home," she waits by the front door all by herself. If he doesn't come home soon, she cries out right there.

Of course, she can't say, "Where is Daddy?" either. Since she can't speak, she tries to convey her sadness with over-the-top reactions. Because there are things she cannot do, she is always giving it her all.

She is already cute enough as she is. But one day, I want to be called Mama. And I want her to call her dad, Daddy.

I have asked my daughter many times to say "Mama." I am fully aware that this is parental ego. Even if it is considered my ego, I want to be called Mama by my daughter.

Every time I see a scene in a drama where a small child shouts "Mama!", I let out a sigh.

I wish my daughter would say that to me, just like that child. I have thought that not just once or twice. And I often think that wishing for such things is like saying "the grass is always greener on the other side." Still, I couldn't stop.

When I ask, "Where is Mama?", my daughter says "Man-man-man-man" every time. When I say, "Point to Mama," she often points to her dad instead.

Sometimes, I come to my senses.I wonder how she will live if she remains unable to speak like this.

My daughter is an only child and will be alone someday. I gave birth to her when I was 41. The time we can spend together is limited.

I don't think about the future. I think of fun things and gloss over the situation. I have been repeating this kind of self-deception over and over.

One day, at the developmental support center my daughter attends, a teacher handed me a brochure. It seems a student who graduated from the program wrote a picture book and won a major award.

"I hope you can also develop your strengths, [Daughter's Name]."

The teacher said this with a big smile. Before her eyes, my daughter was drawing circles with red, blue, and yellow crayons.

Even an illustration filled with colorful circles looks "cute" to a parent. It's a problem that things are piling up, but I just can't bring myself to throw them away. It's a real dilemma.

My daughter draws illustrations at home, too.

Watching my daughter enjoy her creative activities with such abandon, I can't help but harbor a faint hope.

Of course, I try not to expect too much, as that would be a burden on her. Well, whether she has talent or not, it doesn't matter.

If she can just find a few more things she enjoys or things that give her a sense of purpose, that might be enough.

Hobbies and interests can be a support when life gets tough. I am one of those people who has been saved by hobbies like drawing and writing.

I don't know what will happen in her life from here on out, but I believe that having the strength to get back up when things get tough makes life a little easier to live.

I hope that as a parent, I can continue to support her so that she can increase her "things to enjoy."

[Aside]

The other day, I left my daughter with my husband so I could go to the hair salon. It seems she realized I wasn't there.

Apparently, she went to the entrance, put on her shoes, and started pushing her stroller.

These days, I truly think everything my daughter does is just too cute.