So happy my mouth corners are high-fiving on my forehead
Well then, I'm off.
See you later. Have a good time.
The door slams shut.
...
Aaaaaahhhhhhh!!
I screamed (for real).
And then, for the first time in a while, I did a chainé turn and kicked my leg up high.
(Chainé = moving while spinning around)
(High = not actually that high. I exaggerated.)
Ah, I'm so happy.
Happy, happy, happy.
My mouth corners went up so high they high-fived on my forehead.
This is my ultimate expression of joy.
I'm moving with a two-step (in my heart).
Spin around and music start!
Click.
Today's mood is Spitz!
At full volume.
"The music is too loud"
is not something I'm told.
Robinson starts playing.
I hum along.
Remembering my student days, I sing along.
If I could float into the sky with great power, lulala, I'd ride the cosmic wind
The lulala part is actually pretty hard to sing.
I remember it quite well, actually.
I fix my messy hair, put on some nice-smelling wax, and tie it back.
It smells so good.
A nice scent is important. Yeah.
Vacuum cleaner vroom
"The noise is too loud"
is not something I'm told.
"Mom! He kicked me!"
There are no reports of fighting either.
I'm not wearing makeup today.
I'll just hide it with a mask.
I'm going to 7-Eleven with a two-step.
I'm going to buy an eclair.
And just at that moment
Whoooooosh
An unexpected downpour.
Why now?
I think, but then, hehehe.
I'm not my usual self today.
I won't be clicking my tongue in annoyance.
After all, my mouth corners are lifted so high they're high-fiving on my forehead.
In fact,
It's a blessing of rain! Thank you!
I'm at the level where I'd even wink and say things like that.
I put on my rain boots and headed out into the torrential rain to buy an eclair at 7-Eleven.
That's right.
Today, my husband took the kids out to a dinosaur exhibition.
For the first time in a while, I got some time to spend alone at home.
I've been feeling under the weather lately.
I wasn't just making a bad rap like a gargoyle, YO YO,
my heart was broken and exhausted, and I had pushed myself past my limits again.
If I opened my mouth, poison would come out.
So, even though I thought I'd just stay silent, I couldn't ignore the pointless sibling squabbles, and for some reason, I felt sad and started to cry.
Even just having dishwater splash on my clothes made me incredibly angry.
I felt irritated and annoyed by every little request from my son.
I made a declaration to my sons.
Mom is acting strange today. I'm feeling irritable and I'm about to cry, so please bear with me because it's just one of those days.
I was already crying as I said it.
I don't remember what it was, I really don't remember, but it was probably something so small, and I just got so confused and started crying uncontrollably,
and I started hyperventilating.
I crouched down in the kitchen and tried to steady my chaotic breathing.
Take a big breath in,
breathe out deeply.
The tears won't stop,
it's hard to breathe.
It's okay.
Take a big breath in,
breathe out deeply.
My second son brought a box of tissues and kept pulling them out one after another, trying to wipe my tears.
My eldest son, while rubbing my back, said,
Mom, you're doing your best, thank you for always watching over us.
He said that.
No, no, that's what I should be saying to you.
I thought that, but there was also a part of me that calmly realized my sons are growing up to be kind.
My eldest son held out a mug of tea for me.
I didn't notice it and my hand hit it, and I ended up sticking my hand into the mug.
My fingers got wet.
For some reason, laughter started to well up inside me.
I laughed.
When I laughed,
the two of them laughed too,
and the three of us laughed together.
Before I knew it, my breathing had steadied.
They say people tend to become unstable after summer vacation, but I'm the one who's really struggling, more than my son.
My son, who isn't going to school, has transformed into a little gangster, building a secret base in the living room and occupying it.
I have nowhere left to go and am driven to the stairs.
5:00 PM. While I'm preparing dinner, the little gangster occupies the kitchen and starts creating original dishes.
I become a supervisor from behind the kitchen.
The next thing he occupied was the stairs. He spread futons all over the stairs, shouting, 'It's a futon slide!' and having a blast with his younger brother.
Days of occupation, occupation, occupation.
Ah, geez, I can't take this anymore.
But
my son's eyes are sparkling. He's saying he is who he is. He's enjoying every day in his own way.
If you can keep smiling, that's fine. That's good.
But Mom is a little tired, so let me rest once in a while.
Mom's way of recharging her mental health is to spend some relaxing time alone at home.
It's about spending time at my own pace.
With a 7-Eleven eclair and some coffee.
Writing a note while watching a drama.
And then, saying "Welcome home!" to you when you come back saying "I'm home!"
It's about listening to what you have to say.
That is how a mother recharges her mental energy.
My dear husband, thank you for taking the kids out.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Well then, they'll be back in no time, so I'd better enjoy a little more time to myself.
The eclair is delicious.
