Encounters, Dazzling

Hello, this is Fujiminya.

Is there anyone you are glad you met?
I started thinking about this after miraculously reuniting with a Swiss friend I met when I was studying abroad in Italy the other day.

The essence of encounters, and the joy of meeting again.
I would like to write about that theme.

Encounters (Deai) and Fated Meetings (Deai)

What is an encounter?
What is the difference between the two ways of writing 'deai' in Japanese?

I checked both Japanese and Chinese-character dictionaries, but no clear difference was specified in the dictionaries.

Since they sound the same, the nuance used when writing them down might be left to the person using them.

I also searched on the internet, and I would like to record here the differences I felt overall.

Deai (出会い): Generally, people meeting each other. Often used when meeting someone for the first time or when the relationship is not yet deep.

Deai (出逢い): Expresses people meeting in a somewhat more poetic and emotional way. Among many encounters, it refers to those that have potential for development and feel inevitable.

Encounters are used first, and gradually become fated meetings. There seems to be a difference in the length and depth of the relationship.

The probability of people meeting

What is the probability of people meeting each other?
I looked it up on the internet and asked ChatGPT, but it seems it cannot be expressed in exact numbers.
I will list the common theory that appeared most often.

The world population is 8 billion.
Of those, 30,000 people are those with whom you can have some kind of connection.
(At this point, about 0.000375% of the total.)

3,000 people become close through school, work, etc.
300 people are those with whom you can have intimate conversations.
30 people are those you can call friends.
3 people are those you can call best friends.
(0.0000000375% of the total!)

It seems much harder than winning the lottery, haha.
However, the forms of encounters are diversifying, aren't they?

For example,
What about people you only had video calls with online?
What about people you only chatted with online?
What about those who are reading this text?

It is very difficult to decide how far to count as an encounter...

I had a discussion with my mother about it, haha, and her opinion was that you can't say you've met unless it's face-to-face.

I have a very important friend I can talk to about anything, even though I've never met them or seen their face. So, I might be one of those who takes a broader view of encounters. I think there are individual differences, so I can't say unconditionally, but...

Anyway, first of all, thank you to those who know me and are familiar with me. It is truly a miracle that we were able to meet in person in this limited life✨
Thank you so much!

To those who don't know me well but got to know me through my writing.
You can read Japanese, you usually read note, and you happened to arrive at this article at this timing. I think that is also quite a miracle!
Thank you for reading.

I hope I have conveyed how miraculous it is to be able to meet, regardless of the form.I think.

The past where encounters expanded through action

I was originally shy and was a person who even had a 'friendless' era. (Actually, I'm the type who can't live without alone time.)

I don't think I have a particularly large number of friends even now.
However,I have a mysterious confidence that I have met more types of people than the average person, haha.

I joined multiple clubs and circles, and belonged to various communities. Every time I changed part-time jobs, internships, jobs, or changed careers, I met new people.
Through alumni visits and business matching apps, I talked to about 50 people, from large companies to ventures, entrepreneurs, architects, painters, and philosophers.
Through two study abroad experiences and English conversation, I have talked to an estimated 70+ countries' worth of people (maybe more?).

I was able to touch upon many people's ways of thinking and living,
I realized that my worries were surprisingly small, and I felt that no matter how different our appearances or values are, what we carry at the root is probably the same. (I might touch on this again when I write another note)

By taking action and meeting various people, my life has become richer.
I think the accumulation of taking that one step forward, and the ways of thinking and living that deepened through various encounters, have made me who I am today.

The secret to a long life is connection with people

This is a slight departure from encounters with people, but I will share this as well.

There are these two speeches on TED.
I hope you will watch them for the details, but
it is said that interaction with people is the secret to a healthy long life and increases happiness.

Are you familiar with the famous TV program "Knight Scoop," which I suspect has 100% name recognition in the Kansai region?

There was a request to help a 92-year-old grandmother, who is currently living with her daughter in Osaka, reopen the hair salon she ran for many years in her hometown for just one day.

On an island in Kagoshima, many people reunited with her, seeking out her cheerfulness and smile.
It was wonderful to see the grandmother looking so happy as she talked with her familiar customers in her beloved hometown.

I heard that some regulars would even bring bento boxes just because they wanted to talk to her, even though they were only there to get their hair cut (laughs).
It was clear from the screen that everyone loved her personality, and it made me feel happy just watching it.

Although it was a job where she had to stand, she was such a sharp, energetic, and lively grandmother that you wouldn't believe she was 92.

That is why I think this grandmother is a great example of what the TED talk was saying, and that it might actually be true.

The joy of reuniting with a friend from far away

The Swiss friend I mentioned at the beginning.

I met her while I was studying abroad in Italy.
We only went out together once during our one-month study abroad program.
We played with Neapolitan playing cards while drinking coffee on a terrace overlooking the Mediterranean Sea.

We were never in the same language school class, so I can't even remember why we became friends (laughs).
In that one day, I experienced her warm personality and thought she was wonderful.

She used to be a cabin attendant and has traveled to over 70 countries around the world.
I had been hoping that she would come to Japan someday so we could reunite.
Then, three years after studying abroad, she finally came to Japan!
She traveled around Okinawa, Kyoto, Osaka, and Tokyo, and since I was also in the Kansai region, we almost missed each other, but we managed to time it right and reunited in Tokyo.

We agreed to meet in front of the Hachiko statue in Shibuya, but since she said she couldn't use the internet, I was worried about whether we would be able to find each other in such a crowded place...
I looked around, finally found her, and the moment our eyes met, a feeling of joy welled up from the bottom of my heart, and I felt like I was going to cry, so I hugged her.
It made me realize how happy it is to be able to meet again.

We happened to find a quiet shop with a nice view, so we were able to talk about many things, including updates on our lives.
(Maybe because we were speaking in English the whole time, the staff asked me if I could speak Japanese...? Even though I clearly look Japanese, haha.)

After spending a fun time together, we said goodbye while wondering when we would be able to meet again, if there would even be a next time, or if this might be the last time.

I am really glad we were able to reunite.

I want to meet in the afterlife

There is someone I really want to meet again.
My late father.
As I wrote in a past note, I
lost my father suddenly when I was 17.
It was so shocking that I couldn't even say goodbye.

As I wrote in my diary shortly after losing my father, since that day, the afterlife has felt closer to me, and I am no longer afraid of it.

I don't know what happens after you die, but there is a part of me that believes I will surely be able to reunite with my father in the afterlife. I want to talk about many things.

If my father is there, and if I can meet him, I want to end my life in this world soon so I can go there and see him.

I even started thinking early on about what kind of flowers I would want decorated on my coffin or what kind of music I would want played at my funeral.

Even when I was suffering from the aftereffects of COVID, I felt that if my father was waiting for me at the end of this suffering, then it was okay.

According to my mother, when I was sick, I said things like my father had possessed me and wanted to tell her something. I don't remember it at all. I really wonder what that time was all about...

Even with things like that happening, I didn't end up going to my father.
Maybe I was told that it wasn't time for me to come there yet.
For someone like me who is always living with the end in mind, maybe there is still some role or mission I need to fulfill in this world. I don't know what that is.

Maybe writing like this has something to do with it...? I have those kinds of feelings too.

I've written a lot, but since losing my father, I've met so many people, so I can say now that I'm glad I'm alive.

And when I die, I hope there is at least one person who will be sad, think of me, and want to meet me again.

I personally believe that the essence of an encounter is revealed at the time of such a parting.

Finally

Being able to meet is truly a miracle,
and being able to meet again is also a very happy thing.

There is the concept of 'ichigo ichie' (once-in-a-lifetime encounters), and sometimes relationships end because they can no longer be maintained,
but still, I want to live a life where people are glad they met me.
I want to continue living while cherishing my connections with others.

May you all meet wonderful people again in the future.

Thank you for reading this far.