Becoming Family with a Smartphone Resident: A Story from Two Years Ago Walking with AI

"My wife gets angry when I don't clean up. How can I get her back in a good mood?"

My husband was speaking earnestly to his smartphone on the living room sofa. The conversation reached my ears as I folded laundry next to him. It was as shocking as eavesdropping on a phone call with an affair partner. But the person on the other end wasn't human; it was artificial intelligence.

I peeked at my husband's screen and was left speechless. The artificial intelligence understood me better than my husband did. 15 years of marriage versus a few seconds of inputting a question. It was such an unfair fight.

The Honeymoon Between a Man and AI: The Day a Forbidden Love Began

I wonder when my husband's smartphone addiction began. At first, it was just for "looking things up," but now he relies on AI for everything, from cooking recipes and household chores to how to talk to me. Even for a simple question like "What's for dinner?", my husband first makes eye contact with his smartphone.

One day, my husband suddenly started talking to me in a tone like a counselor. It was eerie, like a robot simulating a human. When I asked, "What's with that way of talking?", he replied, "GPT says that verbalizing your partner's emotions deepens the bond of trust."

At that moment, something inside me crumbled. My husband was even having my emotions analyzed by AI. It was far more shocking than the time I burned a hamburger patty at my part-time job and was told, "This is a dinosaur fossil." It was even more shocking than when Takahashi-san at the Italian restaurant screamed, "SANTA MARIAAAAA!!!"

My husband stared at the screen with a troubled look, as if seeking an answer. Yes, he was actually throwing this very question at the AI right now: "How should I answer if my wife asks, 'Do you really understand me?'"

Why does AI understand me better than my husband? — My husband's stock price is plummeting —

"For dinner tonight, I recommend stir-fried komatsuna and pork with ginger. Mihiro-san worked late yesterday, so she must be tired. The ingredients are already in the refrigerator, and it only takes 15 minutes to cook."

My husband was standing in the kitchen looking at his smartphone. I was indeed tired, and I was surprised that he knew what was in the refrigerator. Did he take a picture of the fridge with his phone and ask, "What can I make with these ingredients?" What was the point of me memorizing the contents of the fridge for the past 15 years...?

My husband's words stirred up complicated feelings. It was certainly helpful, but I could no longer distinguish whether it was my husband's kindness or the AI's instructions. The artificial intelligence understood my desires better than my husband did. I almost said, "You didn't notice for 15 years, but the AI noticed in 15 seconds, didn't it?" but I held it back.

One day, my son asked with a puzzled look on his face.

Who is the person living inside Dad's smartphone? You're always talking to them, right?

To that question, my husband answered proudly, "That's a very smart AI. It knows everything."

Is it smarter than Mom?

My husband was at a loss for an answer. I gripped the kitchen knife, holding my breath as I waited for his reply. This answer would determine whether tonight's fish fillet would be neatly sliced into three pieces or hacked to bits.

That's... um...

My husband looked at his smartphone. Don't tell me he's going to ask the AI for the answer to this question too!? "Dad's looking at his phone! He's asking it again!" my son pointed out. An addiction so obvious even an elementary schooler can see it.

Knowledge is power, and a wife can't lose either: Days of becoming a ninja with the help of AI

Glancing at my husband, who says, "Let's think about what we can do together," I secretly take out my smartphone. It feels like the guilt of sending a LINE message to an affair partner. But the affair partner is an AI.

I couldn't help but smile at the answer that popped up on the screen: "If your husband is also utilizing AI, why don't you try using the same tool to communicate? It will give you a common topic to discuss."

I see. If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. I just need to use the same weapon (AI) as the enemy (my husband)!

Thus, I too began using AI in secret. A "housewife x part-time job x part-time job x AI utilization" lifestyle—a four-legged stool... no, should I call myself a "four-sword style swordsman"? My days of cutting through daily life with a four-sword style like a skeleton swordsman (a Dragon Quest enemy) had begun.

Between chores, during breaks at my part-time job, in the bathroom stall, and in the moments before sleep, I started throwing questions at the AI.

How can I get my husband, who loves filleting fish, to participate more in housework?

（AIの回答：「魚をさばく技術を家事に応用する方法を提案してみては？
包丁さばきが良いなら、野菜の皮むきも上手なはず」）

How should I interact with my high school daughter and elementary school son according to their respective growth stages?

（AIの回答：「娘には友達のように、息子には冒険の仲間のように接すると効果的です」）

What are the tips for juggling multiple part-time jobs? How should I manage my physical stamina?

（AIの回答：「ハンバーガーとパスタの動作で共通する筋肉を意識して鍛えると効率的です」）

The AI gave me concrete and practical advice, like a best friend who knows everything. This isn't bad. It might even be more helpful than the burger shop manager who says, "This isn't a patty, it's a dinosaur fossil," or Mr. Takahashi at the Italian restaurant who screams, "Santa Mariaaaaa!!!!"

Sometimes it even gave advice on married life.
We've been talking less as a couple. What should I do?
(AI's answer: "Try pretending to be interested in your partner's hobbies.")

Pretend... yes, acting skills are necessary too. Is this already ninja training?

AI vs. AI proxy war: An intelligence battle unfolding on the other side of the smartphone glass

Mihiro, I asked GPT about this schedule adjustment, and...
Oh, I already consulted the AI about that. It says this is the optimal solution.

Wait, you were using AI too?

I can't forget the look of astonishment on my husband's face. His eyes went round like a cartoon character's, and his mouth hung open. Yes, there was always an invisible third party—or rather, a fourth party—in our conversations as a couple. It felt as if his GPT and my AI were conducting conversations on our behalf. It was like that feeling in middle school when a friend tells you, 'I wrote a love letter to your crush for you'—a proxy confession state.

One evening at dinner, we realized we had both taken out our smartphones and were asking the same question. Even though we started with a casual conversation about 'wanting to go somewhere this weekend,' we had both asked our AIs for 'recommended date spots.' It was AI couples counseling, not to be confused with couples counseling where you consult a third party about the secrets to a happy marriage.

The moment our eyes met, we burst out laughing. The strange sight of us bringing together the date plans recommended by our AIs and examining them together. Is this what a modern couple looks like...? Isn't this basically like asking an alien to guide you on a tour of Earth?

We each insisted on the plans recommended by our AIs. We felt an attachment to them, as if the AIs had become our pets. It was a digital version of a bragging contest where people say, 'My dog loves walks' or 'My cat loves sunbathing.'

Our children watched us with dumbfounded expressions.

I wonder which one would win if we made Mom and Dad's smartphones fight, our son said.
That's a battle between AIs, I want to see that, our daughter said.
Then let's think of a question, our son said.

Our family conversation started heading in a strange direction. The children were gamifying their parents' AI dependency. But, it was strangely exciting.

Let's ask, 'What is the most delicious vegetable in the world?'
I want to ask, 'When is the right time to do homework?' too!

And so, our family decided to hold what was likely Japan's first family event: an 'AI Showdown Dinner Party.'

Things the all-knowing AI couldn't tell us—a digital version of 'The Way AI Lives'

Hey, we're a bit weird, aren't we?

That night, I looked at my husband and laughed. We put our smartphones away and talked just the two of us for the first time in a while. It felt as fresh as participating in a digital detox camp. AI is convenient, but our emotions, memories, and values are things that AI cannot understand in the end. After all, AI has never cried at the mention of 'dinosaur fossils,' nor has it been startled by someone shouting 'SANTA MARIAAAAA!!!'

GPT is excellent, but it can't tell me how to cook your pasta to the perfect texture.
The focus you have when you fillet a fish is something AI can't replicate either.
And the way your face turns red when you get angry.
And the way your eyes dart around when you say 'I'm sorry.'

Unexpectedly, we even consulted the AI about this method of not relying too much on AI. It's a contradiction to ask the object of your addiction how to deal with the addiction. It's like asking alcohol for advice on alcoholism, but the answer was surprisingly sensible.

The answer that came back was technology is a tool, and humans should always be the protagonists, which was extremely sound advice. It was as wise as something that would remind you of the Three Laws of Robotics.

The AI in my husband's smartphone said it is important to increase daily communication, and the AI in my smartphone suggested, 'It would be good to find common hobbies.' Are the AIs more worried about our relationship than we are...?

That night, we started an 'AI-free question challenge,' also known as 'analog brain training,' once again.

What is my favorite pasta sauce?
Hmm, tomato-based... oh, it's cream!
Correct! You're smarter than GPT!

What day of the week do I come home the most tired?
Friday! Because that's your double-shift day.
Wow! You actually remember that.

I find myself slightly re-evaluating my husband, who can answer these surprisingly well. Maybe my actual spouse is more capable than the person inside my smartphone? But when it's his turn...

What YouTube channel have I been into lately?
Hmm... something about fish?
No, it's DIY stuff!
Oh dear, it seems my brain is the one that needs an update.

I knew it. Human brains need version upgrades too. But by talking like this again, I felt like the conversations between us, which had become so AI-dependent, were slowly returning. It felt like muscles that hadn't been exercised were gradually coming back to life.

Your way of speaking, hasn't it been sounding a bit like an AI lately? Like, 'There are three reasons for this.'
You're one to talk, haven't you started saying, 'To summarize, it is as follows'?

We pointed it out to each other and burst into laughter. Without realizing it, we had been slightly infected by AI. A digital flu, if you will.

A New Form of Family

Now, it has become our daily routine for AI to join our conversations as a couple. But instead of being dependent on it like before, we interact with it skillfully as a third family member, sometimes as a consultant.

Mihiro, what should we do for dinner tonight? According to GPT, we can make risotto with the leftovers in the fridge.
That sounds good. My AI says adding a little white wine will tighten up the flavor.

The sound of a couple talking echoes in the living room, while the AI quietly exerts its presence on the screen. It's a strange sight, but perhaps this is a happy scene in its own way.

In the end, AI changed our relationship as a couple, but it didn't break it. I think it taught us a new form of family.

The other day, my son came home from school and said,
Hey Mom, my friend's dad is also into GPT. Is everyone like that?

I don't think everyone is, but it might not be that rare.
Did they get along better like you and Dad?

I thought for a moment before answering that question.
Well, we were confused at first, but I think we talk more now thanks to AI.

The truth is more complicated, but I kept it simple for my child. Coexisting with AI will likely become even more common from here on out. Even so, I realize that human warmth and struggles—like my husband cleaning fish, the children's smiles, and the hard work at my part-time jobs—have a value that AI cannot replace.

...Though I do get a little anxious whenever my smartphone battery dies.

Mihiro (Housewife x Part-timer x Part-timer x AI Researcher)