The LINE message I thought would make me feel better only made me suffer more after I sent it.

I thought that if I sent it, I would feel a little better.

I couldn't bear the time spent waiting for nothing to come back.
I couldn't stand it.

Still unread.

Still just marked as read.

Still left with a short reply.

Even when I close my phone,
the chat screen is always open in my mind.

"Should I send it just one more time?"

"Would it be okay if I just ask casually?"

"It wouldn't be too heavy if I just sent a message asking if they're busy, right?"

"If I say something like 'sorry,' will the atmosphere go back to normal?"

Thinking that,
I wrote the message many times.

I deleted it.

I wrote it again.

I stopped right before the send button.

But in the end, I sent it.

The moment I sent it,
I felt like I could breathe a little.

Maybe this will change something.

Maybe this will make them reply.

Maybe this will end the anxiety.

That's what I thought.

But the moment I really started to suffer was
after I sent it.

It only feels a little better the moment you send it.

Sending a follow-up LINE message
can make you feel a little better just for the moment you send it.

Because the time spent waiting without doing anything
is the most painful.

Because being in a state where you have no choice but to wait for a reply
feels painful, like you've been left behind all alone.

That's why I want to do something.

If I send a LINE message,
at least I feel like I've taken action.

I feel like I haven't given in to the silence.

I feel like I've done something
to keep things from ending just like this.

But that relief doesn't last long.

After sending it,
I look at my phone again.

Has it been read?

Has a reply come?

Was the tone cold?

Did they think I was being clingy?

This time,
the LINE message I sent becomes a new source of anxiety.

Before sending it,
not getting a reply was painful.

After sending it,
even I, the one who sent it, start to feel miserable.

The "I wish I hadn't sent it" cycle begins.

After sending it,
sometimes regret comes immediately.

“I really shouldn't have sent that.”

“Maybe it was too heavy.”

“Maybe they hate me even more now.”

“Did it seem like I was rushing them for a reply?”

“Did they think I was being annoying?”

Before sending it,
I thought I would feel a little relieved if I just sent it.

But after sending it,
I end up reading that one message over and over again.

I worry about the punctuation.

I worry about the emojis.

I worry about the phrasing.

I worry about the timing.

Even though it's just one sentence,
I suddenly feel like my entire self is exposed in it.

“Why did I send it like that?”

“If I were a more composed person, I wouldn't do things like this, right?”

“Is that why I'm not being treated with care, because this is who I am?”

That's how,
from a single LINE message, the self-blame begins to spiral.

The reason sending follow-up messages is painful
isn't just about what the other person thinks of you.

It's painful because,
afterward, you end up hating yourself.

Even when a reply comes, sometimes you still can't feel at ease.

After sending a follow-up LINE message,
sometimes a reply does come.

"Sorry, I was busy."

"I was asleep."

"I just saw it."

"It's okay."

At first glance, a reassuring reply.

But somewhere in my heart, I'm still in pain.

Truth be told,
I thought it would be over once the reply came.

I thought my anxiety would disappear.

But in reality,
things don't always go back to normal completely.

"Is it true that they were busy?"

"Why didn't they tell me beforehand?"

"If I hadn't sent that message, would they have never replied?"

"Did they only reply because I sent a follow-up?"

"What if the same thing happens again?"

The reply came.

But I still can't feel completely at ease.

That is
not because you are being selfish.

Because what you really wanted
wasn't just the reply itself.

What you wanted
was the feeling of being cherished.

The relief of knowing "I haven't been forgotten."

The confirmation that "I am not just someone to be put on the back burner."

That is why,
sometimes just getting a reply,
isn't enough to put my heart at ease.

When there is no reply, I feel like I'm going to break even more.

And,
the hardest part is,
when I send a follow-up message and still get no reply.

Even though I sent another one.

Even though I gathered the courage to send it.

Even though I couldn't suppress my anxiety and sent it.

And yet, there is still no reply.

At this moment,
my heart sinks all at once.

"It really is over."

"They really have become annoyed with me."

"I shouldn't have sent it."

"I was the only one desperate."

"There is nothing I can do anymore."

A follow-up message,
might bring a little relief if a reply comes.

But,
the wound is deeper when no reply comes.

Because,
it feels like I've been left behind not just by the first message,
but by the follow-up as well.

The second time being left on unread hurts more than the first.

The second time being left on read is more painful than the first.

“So my existence is that insignificant.”

That is what I end up thinking.

But please, do not forget this.

The fact that the other person hasn't replied and your worth being low are two different things.

The fact that there is no reply to your follow-up message and you being a person unworthy of love are two different things.

Just because they haven't read it,
please don't leave your own worth unread as well.

What was it that you really wanted to end?

The LINE message I thought would make me feel better after sending it.

With that one message,
what was it that you really wanted to end?

The time spent waiting for a reply.

The imagination that you might be hated.

The anxiety that maybe only you are in love.

The fear that it might end just like this.

The feeling of being unable to do anything.

The version of yourself that cannot step away from your phone.

Perhaps,
what you wanted to end was not the silence, but the anxiety raging inside you.

That is why sending it can sometimes be painful.

Because the LINE message you intended to send to the other person,
was actually a message to stop your own anxiety.

But anxiety,
cannot be completely erased just by the other person's reply.

Even if it becomes quiet for a moment,
it may come back again.

When the reply was late.

When it was marked as read.

When it ended with a short sentence.

When I felt the tone was different than before.

And I end up back in the same place again.

That is why,
when you try to stop your anxiety solely with the other person's reply,
it only becomes more painful.

You don't have to blame yourself too much for sending it.

Reading this far,
some people might think,
"I was wrong to send a follow-up LINE after all."

But that is not the case.

You don't have to blame yourself too much
for having sent it.

At that time,
you were truly suffering.

Waiting was painful.

You were filled with anxiety.

In the silence of the other person,
you even started to doubt your own worth.

That is why
you couldn't help but do something.

That might be a sign of weakness.

But at the same time,
it also means you were trying that desperately to protect yourself.

Please don't use the night you sent that follow-up LINE
only as fuel to blame yourself.

"I was that anxious at that time."

First, please try to see it that way.

You can reflect without blaming yourself.

You can think about what to do next
without having to hate yourself.

Changing where you look for the sake of the next night

When you feel the urge to send a follow-up message,
most people look at the other person.

What is the other person doing right now?

Are they looking at their phone?

Is their social media active?

Has it been read?

Are they replying to someone else?

But the person you really need to look at
is not just the other person.

It is yourself right now.

Are you sleeping?

Have you eaten?

How many hours have you been looking at your phone?

Are facts and imagination getting mixed up?

Can you imagine how you will feel after you send it?

Do you really want to contact them?

Or do you just want to stop the anxiety?

If you send it without looking at this,
you are likely to return to the same suffering again.

Before deciding whether to send it or not,
first look at your own state.

Just by doing that,
you will be able to choose a little better.

If you are going to send it, use words that won't make you hate yourself.

There are times when you absolutely need to send a message.

There are also things that are better to confirm.

There are relationships that become painful if you don't speak up.

That is why,
I won't say, "Never send it."

But if you are going to send it,
I want you to send it using words that won't make you hate yourself.

Don't blame the other person too much.

Don't put yourself down too much.

Don't apologize for things you don't need to apologize for.

Don't force a reply.

Don't phrase it in a way that tests the relationship.

After you send it,
use words that will protect you, even if just a little.

For example,
before you send,
"No need to reply if you're busy,"
I want you to look and see if you are really okay with that.

If you are not okay,
words that pretend to be okay
can end up making you suffer later.

What is important in love is
not just crafting a message that won't make the other person dislike you.

It is about choosing a message
that won't make you hate yourself after you send it.

About the notebook to read before sending a follow-up LINE

On nights when you feel like sending a follow-up LINE,
I created a notebook you can open just once before you send it.

Notebook to read before sending a follow-up LINE
A guide to resetting relationship anxiety so you don't break yourself on nights when there is no reply

In this notebook, I have included:

・The real reason you want to send a follow-up LINE message
・A 10-item checklist to look at before sending
・How to interpret unread messages, read-but-no-reply, and short replies
・LINE messages that are okay to send / LINE messages better left unsent
・A 7-day exercise to bring yourself back on nights spent waiting for a reply
・An emergency memo template for when you feel the urge to send a follow-up LINE

I have included these.

This is not a notebook to tell you not to send messages, but rather to help you return to yourself before you do.
This is a notebook to help you return to yourself before you send anything.

It is not a notebook to manipulate the other person,
but to keep you from breaking down
on nights when no reply comes.

The introductory price of 980 yen
is being extended for 7 days
because I want it to reach those who need it a little more.

I will leave this here as a place you can open just once
on the nights you need it, before you send that message.

Today's emergency memo

The LINE message I thought would make me feel better
can sometimes make me suffer even more after I send it.

You don't have to blame yourself too much for having sent it.

But on the next night,
I want you to look at this just once before you send anything.

Do I really want to contact them right now?

Do I just want to stop this anxiety?

Will I really feel better
after I send this?

Or will I just
end up staring at my phone even more?

The fact that there is no reply
is separate from your worth as a person.

Just because the message is unread,
don't let your own value go unread too.

Even on nights when no reply comes,
please don't abandon yourself.