How to deal with being criticized👍
This is sudden, but do you dislike being criticized by others?
(Truly sudden🤣)
Criticism means being blamed for being wrong, having complaints directed at you, or having your thoughts and actions denied.
When you have made a mistake, it might be somewhat unavoidable. Still, it doesn't feel good, though...
Sometimes,
you might also have things you currently value, such as your own values, things you want to do, or things you are working hard on, denied.
Even though you are working hard and are recognized by those around you, someone suddenly tells you that it's no good😳
Everyone else accepts it favorably, but... why?😭
You might feel shocked and become anxious, wondering if you should continue as you are...
Have you ever had an experience like this?
If not, that's good😁
I think that's wonderful!✨✨
But I think there may be some people who have had painful experiences like that.
In this article, I will introduce the way I practice taking things when I am criticized by others.
It's a way of thinking with many benefits, and I don't think you'll lose anything by knowing it😉
Please stay with me until the end✨✨✨
The 50% favor, 50% criticism mindset
When my thoughts, actions, or values are denied, I try to think that
for any person and any way of thinking, there is both favor and criticism toward it. The ratio of energy transmitted to me is 50:50.
The point is that it's about energy, not the number of people.
For example, suppose you are getting along with 9 out of 10 people at work, but only one person, Person A, does not think well of you.
The fact that the energy ratio is 50:50 means that
Person A alone will emit negative energy equivalent to the favorable energy you received from the 9 people.
If the favor received from the 9 people was small, the criticism from Person A won't be that significant, but when the favor received from the 9 people was large...
You will receive intense criticism from Person A😵
You get told off so harshly that you find yourself wondering, why do I have to be spoken to like that?😭😭
If it's a group where the relationship is shallow and there is little mutual interest, you don't receive much goodwill, and even if you are criticized, it isn't said very strongly.
However, criticism that occurs when the relationship is deep and you are receiving a lot of positive energy becomes intense.
It can also happen across groups.
For example, when I told my friends about my dream and how I planned to achieve it, everyone was very supportive.
When I excitedly told my family, they were completely against it...
My project was well-received within my group and I thought it would definitely succeed, but my boss didn't acknowledge it at all...
When I was enjoying building a community with people who shared a common hobby, I received scathing criticism from someone who didn't belong to it...
Things like that.
Does anything come to mind?
Some of you may not be able to think of anything at all, but I have quite a few experiences like that.
When I look back on times when I was denied or criticized by someone, I think, it was like that then, and that was like that too.
I feel like it tends to happen when I'm feeling elated from being praised or acknowledged by others, or when I feel like I have the wind at my back.I get the feeling.
At times like that, if I remember that goodwill and criticism are 50:50, and I can think, "I was told something negative, but I have already received that much goodwill," I can change my mood quickly.
By thinking that the negative energy was directed at me because I had already received positive energy, it can't be helped, soI can face that phenomenon calmly without getting emotional.
This is how I perceive things when I am criticized or denied by someone.
Below, I will explain in a little more detail the effects of being able to perceive things this way😊
The effects of thinking 50:50
1. You don't get conceited. You can grow.
If you are only met with goodwill and agreement from everyone, you become too confident and get conceited.
However, sometimes,by being denied, you can confirm your own position and become more conscious of improving yourself, which can lead to dramatic growth.
To grow as a person, you need to know yourself, but it is difficult to find your own flaws and weaknesses, and knowing yourself through others is often a shortcut to that.
Sometimes, later on, you might think, "That criticism wasn't wrong."
You tend to think that when you have grown a little more than you were when you were criticized.
That is why I think it is good to be in a state where you can calmly reflect on yourself when you are criticized.
Even so, when you are criticized by others, it is hard to feel that humble.
You end up feeling, "Why! I think this is good!"
Therefore, I try to regain my composure by remembering that "goodwill and criticism were 50:50." as I do.
2. Being able to accept it.
When you can be calm, you can sometimes see the hidden meaning behind the words.
There might be expectations or kindness toward you in there.
When you can notice that, the thought arises that the criticism might not have been just an attack on you, but something said out of expectation or concern for you.
Then, you can feel gratitude.
In fact, I think that at the root of criticism, it is often goodwill, not malice.
Even if the words spoken are hurtful, if you think about it carefully, the source is often goodwill.
When you can realize that, criticism becomes "thank you for telling me"😆
3. Being able to avoid conflict
When you can reach a state of accepting or being grateful, you lose the desire to talk back.
Then, there is no conflict.
Conflict happens because you argue back with the same intensity.
If you don't argue back, there is no conflict.
You shouldn't remain hurt, but if you aren't hurt in the first place, it doesn't matter what is said to you.It doesn't matter.
If you know in advance that "goodwill and criticism are 50:50," you can calmly perceive criticism, use it as fuel for your own growth, and be grateful, so you won't get hurt.
Even if the criticism is unreasonable, it doesn't bother me that much.
Because, I have already received goodwill, and the criticism is just happening in proportion to that.
I have already received good things from the world. Already.
4. You can learn about the other person's values
Words used to criticize others clearly contain that person's values (what they prioritize in life).
They go out of their way to tell you.
For that person, there is something they cannot help but say, something they cannot remain indifferent about.
You can learn the essence of that.
Once you know it, you can't change their values, so you just think, 'Oh, I see,' but you can use that for the future.
Just knowing that 'this person values this kind of thing' makes dealing with them much smoother.
If you don't understand that essence and only take the words at face value, and end up resenting them or falling into self-pity, you will just be criticized by that person again for similar things.
You can avoid that.
If you realize that you are fundamentally incompatible, you can choose to keep some distance from that person for the time being.
● Summary
I have explained the mental coping methods I practice when I am criticized.
Goodwill and criticism happen in a 50:50 ratio.
If you can think that way, you can accept it calmly, understand the other person's essence, and it can even lead to gratitude.
It won't escalate into a conflict.
That was the topic.
People who are considerate, very charming, have high communication skills, and are loved by everyone may never have been criticized, as I wrote at the beginning.
In fact, I think there are such people.
But it seems I am the type who, both at work and in relationships, the more I express my individuality and opinions, the more support I get, but I also receive criticism in proportion to that🤣🤣🤣
Well, it can't be helped. I have no choice but to accept it😊
On this planet, there are 8 billion ways of thinking and 8 billion unique personalities.
If you live as yourself, it is natural to face some criticism.
However, that is just a return for the energy of goodwill you received.
If you know this in advance, you won't have to panic, cry, or fret when the time comes😊
Thank you for reading until the end.
Please come back again.
Goodbye😆😆😆
😆I am accepting work (limited time only)😆
These are my popular articles. If you are new here, please take a look at these too🌈
#mick#HowToChangeYourLife#LifeRules#LifeStrategy#BrainScience#QuantumMechanics#Universe#GratitudeByChoice#ThankYou#RightBrain#DependsOnPerspective#Blog#Essay#Relationships#Worries#Diet#Sobriety#HemiSync#Philosophy#Psychology#Awareness#HereAndNow#Charity#note#TryLiking#Life#Happiness#AbsoluteHappiness#UnconditionalLove#Parenting#Money#Living#IAmTheUniverse#LoveAndGratitude#LawOfAttraction#Vibration#ThoughtsBecomeReality#Words#PNSE#NonDuality#Enlightenment#NonReligious#KnowYourself#DailyNote#Life#WayOfLife#Life#Family#WayOfThinking#Heart#Thoughts#Love#Harmony#Emotions#Meditation#LawOfMirror#Around40#Around50#GoodMood#LawOfTheUniverse#LifeScenario#ThankYouForReading#Excitement#ChangeYourselfChangeTheWorld#NiceToMeetYou