How do you handle someone who is 'too close for comfort and pushy'? - Interpersonal Relationship RPG #7

Hello. This is Merumaru.

Welcome to the seventh stage! Our enemy character this time is someone who is too close for comfort and pushy.

Since this is a very specific type of 'difficult person to deal with,' you might be able to put the strategy I've written this time into practice right away.
Now, let the battle begin!

A colleague at a new workplace

You have just been assigned to your new workplace. A senior colleague, A, who seems kind, speaks to you.

A: "If you have any trouble, just let me know!"

At first, you thought they were a reliable senior, but after a while...

• They invite you to lunch every single time.

• When you make a small mistake, they repeatedly offer advice, saying, "I told you it would be better to do it this way, didn't I?"

• They pry into your private life, and you find yourself struggling to respond more and more often.

Because they are too close for comfort, you have gradually started to feel burdened. Since it's hard to just say "I don't want to" in this situation, they are quite a formidable opponent.

Conversations with a mom friend

Mom friend B, whom you met at daycare. She is kind and friendly, but...

B: "Don't you think your child should be taking more lessons like X?"
B: "Oh? You made this? You could do it much better if you did it this way!"

It seems they are saying these things out of pure goodwill, but they are pushy, and you have gradually started to feel stressed.

[First, let's analyze] What is the psychology of a "pushy person"?

There are several backgrounds to the words and actions of pushy people:

1. A strong desire to help others
   Sometimes, the desire to be kind to others becomes excessive, which can end up being a burden.

2. Confidence in one's own values
   Because they are convinced that 'their way is the right way,' they tend to want to share that with others.

3. Not knowing how to maintain personal boundaries
   Even if they intend to act with good intentions, they may not have the capacity to consider how the other person feels.

Among the people I have met so far, I think the majority were types '1' and '2'.

[Battle] How would you respond?

When dealing with a pushy person, what would you do?
Please select a command.

➢ Smile vaguely and keep letting it slide.

➢ Clearly decline by saying, 'I'm fine, thank you.'

➢ Keep a little distance while maintaining a moderate relationship.

[Explanation] Recommended approach

The recommended approach is '3': keep a little distance and maintain a moderate relationship.

Before you start acting exhausted from dealing with them, take a moderate step back.

[Concrete methods]

1. Decline gently while expressing gratitude
   By saying, 'Thank you for your kindness, but I'd like to think about it a bit more on my own,' you can decline without rejecting their good intentions.

2. Clarify your boundaries
   By specifically stating, 'I want to make my own decisions here,' it becomes easier for the other person to respect your wishes.

3. Adjust the distance slightly
   You don't have to respond to every suggestion. Interact at a moderate frequency and maintain the relationship within a range that doesn't strain you.

4. Switch to another topic
   If the other person brings up a topic they tend to be pushy about, changing the subject is one tactic. Naturally shift the direction by saying, 'Let's talk about that another time; what do you think about [this recent topic]?'

Method 2 is quite effective, so please try it out!

[NG responses you should avoid]

1. Accepting everything
   If you accommodate the other person too much, the burden will increase, and they may interfere even more. It is important to take action before you become exhausted.

2. Reacting emotionally
   If you reject them emotionally by saying, "You're too pushy!", the relationship may deteriorate.

[Summary]

For people who are too close, it is important to understand that their actions come from good intentions, while also protecting your own pace without overextending yourself.

By finding ways to decline appropriately and maintain a proper distance, I believe you can continue the relationship while reducing the burden.

Congratulations on clearing the seventh stage!

This was quite a formidable opponent this time as well, but I would be happy if you could make use of whatever you found useful in this article ^-^

I will continue to write articles about human relationships, so please keep reading them in the future!!