The perspective of 'What if I had met this person outside of work?'

My name is Tsuki no Ishi.

A fantasy I've been having in my head a lot lately: "What would it be like if I had met this person outside of work?"

This question teaches me surprisingly many things.

—

■ Most relationships are made of 'environment'

At work, roles are decided first.

Boss, subordinate, colleague.

The one evaluating, the one being evaluated.
The one holding responsibility, the one being made to hold it.
In other words,

The 'relational mold' exists before the 'person'.
As a result of being forced into that mold,

it is not uncommon for discomfort and friction to arise.
—

■ What if we looked at it based purely on compatibility?

If you had met that person,

for example, in a hobby community or through a friend's introduction,
・You might not have interacted at all

・You might have been comfortable just talking occasionally
・They might have been the type of person you naturally like
Possibilities like these are endless.

In other words, the current relationship

might just look distorted because of the 'assigned relationship' rather than 'the person's essence'.
—
■ Is it the 'person' you dislike, or the 'situation'?

Let's break it down here.

What is causing you stress?

・Is it that person's personality?

・Is it that person's role (boss, subordinate, etc.)?

・Is it the distance or frequency of interaction with that person?
In many cases,
what you dislike is not the 'person' themselves, but rather the 'form of the relationship' you are tied to with that person.

—
■ The choice of redesigning distance
Having this perspective changes your options.

You don't have to force yourself to like them.

But you can think like this:

"This relationship works at this distance."

・Limit interactions strictly to work matters
・Lower your expectations

・Consciously adjust the frequency of interaction

The idea is not to break the relationship,
but to redesign it.
—

■ Relationships are not fixed
Human relationships are not determined by being 'good' or 'bad',

but are greatly influenced by the environment and the role in which you met.

That is precisely why

the question, "What if I had met this person outside of work?"
allows you to take a step back from your emotions.

—

■ Finally

The fact that there are people you don't get along with is not a problem in itself.
However, if you pin the reason solely on the 'other person's character',

the relationship will only become more rigid.

Perhaps it is

a matter of compatibility with the situation, not the person.

When you can think that way,
human relationships become a little easier.
I hope this serves as a hint.