If you can live peacefully, do you think it's unavoidable to be used?

"They are usually so kind, so their anger must be for my own good."
The feeling of thinking that way is not something to be blamed. When people are shown kindness, they want to see good intentions in it.

But please, stop and think for a moment.
Is that anger meant to stop you from getting hurt? Or is it frustration because you didn't act the way they wanted?

Someone who truly cares about you will choose dialogue, especially when you don't "act as expected." They will not try to make you obey through anger.

Is the true nature of their kindness actually just "utility value"?
Is the target of their anger "your happiness" or "their own convenience"?

Kindness and control may seem similar, but they are different.
When you realize that difference, your relationships will become much freer.

When I was in my first year as a working professional, there was one other new hire in my department besides me.

The other new hire was what you might call an "alien."
They had returned from living abroad, but even so, it felt like they lacked common sense...

Thanks to that, I was sometimes dragged into trouble, but I also gained a major realization.

People who judge others only by their utility value were kind to that "alien."
I never saw them getting yelled at. (Though they were scolded terribly by others.)

The thoughts of someone who judges people by utility value toward someone they have deemed to have no utility value are:

⭐️ No need to get angry (because they have no expectations)
⭐️ They can be controlled conveniently, so that's fine

These two things.

In other words, if you think about it in reverse, toward me, they are

⭐️ Getting angry because I have utility value but cannot be completely controlled.

Even if you think you are keeping the workplace peaceful by forcing yourself to adapt, aren't you being seen as part of "that group" by those around you?

The hint to changing is to value yourself.