[Seasonal Cup Spin-off] Sandwichman's 'I've Had Enough of Chilled Senryu!'

Tom: Takeshi Tomizawa. Known as Tommy. The funny man.
Date: Mikio Date. Known as Date-chan. The straight man.

※Sandwichman's manzai entrance music. Up to around 0:45.

Date: Hello, we are Sandwichman.
Tom: Thanks for having us.
Date: Man, it's been a while since we've appeared.
Tom: Has it been about 90 years?
Date: What are we, Halley's Comet? It's only been about half a year.
Tom: Well, it's not like we were taking a break or anything.
Date: That's right. We've been doing all sorts of work during that time.
Tom: Like charity concerts and stuff.
Date: I've never done a charity concert. What even is a charity concert?
Tom: All over the country, from Tochigi in the north to Kanagawa in the south.
Date: That's just the Kanto region! What do you mean 'all over the country'?
Tom: About 30,000 locations, maybe?
Date: That's way too many. That's a job for a specialist.
Tom: Well, one way or another, we've been kept busy.
Date: Truly. We're very grateful.
Tom: Speaking of grateful, it's time for the Everyone's Haiku Tournament.
Date: That was a pretty forced transition. But yeah, I'm sure a lot of people are grateful for this project.
Tom: Everyone's Haiku Tournament, affectionately known as 'Min-Hai'.
Date: No, it's 'Min-Hai'. What is 'N-Dai'? Is that some old shop sign?
Tom: But, such a wonderful project...
Date: That's right. With this summer tournament...
Tom: It's the end of the road.
Date: Don't say 'end of the road'. It's just a stopping point.
Tom: Reaching a stopping point.
Date: Did you all read it? Kacchi-san from the Min-Hai management wrote about it in an article.
Tom: 'My physical strength is at its limit!'
Date: Are you Chiyonofuji? No, they declared that since it's not sustainable as it is, they're freezing it for now.
Tom: I see. Well, even so, it's sad.
Date: Yeah. We've been doing it for three years.
Tom: A lot of great poems were born.
Date: Do you remember the grand prize poem from the first tournament?
Tom: Of course I remember. It was the memorable first one, right?
Date: It was Noriko Tonomura's. That cute poem.
Tom: 'Looking up, I punch Date at the poolside.'
Date: You don't remember it at all! Why would I get punched at the poolside?
Tom: Huh? Wasn't that the grand prize winner?
Date: If that had been the first grand prize winner, there's no way it would have continued to a second one.
Tom: What was it then?
Date: It was 'Looking up, I search for Mom at the poolside'.
Tom: 'Search for Mom'!! I was torn between them!!
Date: What do you mean you were torn between 'Search for Mom' and 'Punch Date'?
Tom: When you look at it like this, the impression of the poem changes with just five characters.
Date: It changes way too much. Yours is just poolside violence.
Tom: Japanese is interesting, isn't it? It's so deep.
Date: Never mind that, apologize to Noriko Tonomura. Apologize right now, you shallow jerk.
Tom: Also, speaking of Min-Hai, the various spin-offs are fun too.
Date: That's true. Right now, there's 'Chilled Senryu' run by Koredehahaha-san.
Tom: What is 'Hiyashi Kawayanagi'? I don't get it lololololol
Date: You're the one who doesn't get it. You write 'river' and 'willow' and read it as 'senryu'. Learn it already.
Tom: What is 'Yacchimatta Senryu' (Oops Senryu)?
Date: It's exactly what it sounds like. You just turn those 'oops' moments in daily life into a 5-7-5 poem. For example...

Date: So, I heated up a meat bun or something for breakfast.
Tom: Yeah, yeah lol
Date: And then I realized, 'Oh no, I'm going to be late!' and just left the house.
Tom: Yeah lol yeah lol
Date: Then, when I got home and opened the microwave to heat up my dinner bento, the morning meat bun was sitting there.
Tom: Yeah lol yeah lol
Date: Like, 'Oops, I did it again!' haha
Tom: WAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!
Date: HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA...
Tom: I don't really know what you're talking about...
Date: What don't you get? Leaving things in the microwave happens, right?
Tom: Does it?
Date: If you're going to say that, you should come up with one too. An 'Oops Senryu'.
Tom: Let's see... how about this one?

Date: Ah, I can certainly see that happening.
Tom: My brain isn't working in the morning, so I just let it all out.
Date: I get it, I get it. And then after you feel relieved, you go 'Oh!'
Tom: I hurriedly gulped down some water, but nothing came out.
Date: Well, it's not going to come out that fast.
Tom: I couldn't help it, so I put Mello Yello in instead and submitted it.
Date: What are you doing? Mello Yello, that's nostalgic. You're definitely going to fail the test.
Tom: No, the result was 'no abnormalities'.
Date: That test is the abnormality! What's wrong with Japanese medicine?
Tom: Any other 'Oops Senryu'?
Date: Any others? Let's see... how about this one?

Tom: That's sad.
Date: It's sad, and more than anything, it's embarrassing.
Tom: Huh? I wondered why no one was getting on.
Date: Exactly. The conductor told me, 'This is out of service...'
Tom: I've had a similar experience.
Date: Oh, really?

Date: No, what are you doing? Why are you charging at a vacuum truck?
Tom: The driver was surprised.
Date: Of course he was. What kind of situation is that?
Tom: The bus and the vacuum truck were stopped one after the other. I wanted to get on the bus in front, but I was in a hurry so I made a mistake.
Date: You don't mistake a bus for a vacuum truck.
Tom: Seriously, what is that?
Date: That's my line. And hey, what's with the urine tests and vacuum trucks? Think about the people reading this while they're eating.
Tom: Don't you need to think about the people reading this in the bathroom!!
Date: Why are you getting angry? I don't need to think about that. Next. This isn't someone else's problem for us, since we travel by plane a lot.

Tom: That's scary.
Date: Right? If you make a mistake, you definitely won't make it in time.
Tom: Actually, I've had a similar experience too.
Date: Really?

Date: Why did you bring Toshimaen tickets to Narita Airport?
Tom: The lady at the counter told me, 'You can't board with this...'
Date: You handed them to the counter? That's beyond embarrassing.
Tom: I held my head and went, 'Ah, it was Haneda!!'
Date: You can't board anything even if you go to Haneda! Are you an idiot?
Tom: Oops, I did it again★
Date: Shut up. Well, humans are creatures that make mistakes.
Tom: No point in worrying about it.
Date: That's right. Even if you mistake a bus for a vacuum truck, you can still live.
Tom: Who mistakes a bus for a vacuum truck lololololol
Date: You did! That's enough.
Both: Thank you very much.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Perhaps because it's been half a year and it was a rush job, the two of them don't seem to be in top form (?), but this is a spin-off project for the Min-Hai tournament's stopping point. I wanted to participate in at least one, so I forcibly summoned them. Writing this material might have been the most 'chilled' moment I've had in the last six months lol

Well, there's meaning in participating, so I hope you can turn a blind eye to the level of the material ○┓ ← Theory that I raised the bar myself

Is this a regular project now!? (*✪д✪*)
★Madoka-chan's secret reply poem

I wanted to participate～(๑｀￫Д￩´乂) I'll go visit your articles at my leisure.
★Shirokuma Kirin's Min-Hai Time Capsule

The main event is also starting soon٩(๑•̀ω•́๑)۶