The rice plants sway. I sway too.

A borrowed life, just one. Use it brazenly and return it.

──This line has been hitting me hard lately.

Sheena Ringo and
Hiroji Miyamoto's
Kemono Yuku Hosomichi (The Narrow Path of the Beast).

Now that I'm 42, I feel like I've finally started to understand what it means.

Hello.
I'm Nao, currently rebooting.

I quit my job, moved to the mountains, and started natural farming.

I don't use fertilizers or pesticides.
I leave it to nature as much as possible.

It might sound cool, but

my bank account is quite realistic.

Even though I should have gotten closer to my ideal,
anxiety followed me right along with it.

Income. Weather. Family. The future.

In your 40s, the things you have to protect increase.

The reasons to run away increase, too.

But.

If life is borrowed,

I have no intention of returning it unscathed.

The wind blows in the rice field.

The rice plants sway.

I sway too.

The dog runs.

The world is spinning more normally than I thought.

Even so, I stand on the soil.

I am not perfect.

I am not strong either.

Honestly, there are nights when I am afraid.

But I will not stop.

Restarting is not a privilege reserved for the young.

You can do it at 42, too.

You can do it even if your bank account is cold.

You can do it even while swaying.

If there is someone out there right now who is standing still just like me,

the mud is not as bad as you might think.

Today, too, I stand on the soil while swaying.